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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you find it awkward - bride singing to groom at wedding

304 replies

ShutUpandSing · 08/08/2019 19:30

I'm not sure whether to do this at my upcoming wedding or not.

Not in any way a stealth brag but I think relevant... I can sing (well I think!) and did vocal studies at university.

The problem is I have quite bad anxiety and get nervous over what people think! I never had the confidence to take it anywhere.

Be honest, what would think to this?

OP posts:
movingontosomethingnew · 09/08/2019 00:24

I would love to see that.

Do it op, who cares what anyone else thinks!

HeadintheiClouds · 09/08/2019 00:26

Because the guests are a captive audience, maybe??

MaidenMotherCrone · 09/08/2019 00:27

I'd be cringing!

Save your song for after the reception. It's such an intimate gesture so wait for an intimate moment like when he's going down on you and just really belt it out. He will never forget it Wink

WeddingSinger · 09/08/2019 00:48

Changed my name for this ^^, hard hat at the ready Wink
I sang at my wedding to my then husband, I did a sort of speech at the end of the speeches and did it then.
I was extremely nervous and do have anxiety about performing infront of people but it meant a lot for me to do it for my husband as he had always tried to encourage me to sing infront of people. I forewarned some people and asked them to join in the chorus! I'm a competent singer but was nervous and it wasn't a great performance but it wasn't supposed to be! It meant a lot to my husband, he cried Grin and that's what mattered to me.

My kind of SIL (she's on here and she'll know its me by that description Grin Hi!) Was the most unsure beforehand and said it wasn't a great idea and actually loved it when I did it. Seem to remember her getting a little emotional, ah bless.

Anyways the marriage didn't last and I do cringe if I watch it back on DVD but in the moment I felt great about it and I know my husband loved it so if you want to do it I say go for it!
Oh and since I namechanged I may as well tell you the song because it will completely out me but I'll change back 😂😂 it was Madness, It must be love.
Yes it was very cheesy.. I like cheesy 🤷🏻‍♀️

ReanimatedSGB · 09/08/2019 02:02

@ihadedto - not convinced at all by your explanation. It comes across as only celebrities or 'good looking' people are allowed to perform or make big gestures; everyone else should know their place.

Do you all 'cringe' at the 'first dance', when the just-marrieds dance together and the guests are generally, traditionally, supposed to watch them do so? Does everyone's 'how dare you think you're anything special' mindset extend to people who write their own wedding vows, too?

Waveysnail · 09/08/2019 02:04

Totally cringy and boke

ZazieTheCat · 09/08/2019 02:17

Making yourself a bit of a hostage to fortune I think. The run up to the Big Day and the day itself, can be nerve-wracking enough, without added performance nerves.

dreichhighlands · 09/08/2019 02:17

If you can sing I cannot see anything wrong with this.
There is lots of singing at weddings.
It doesn't harm anyone and it is your day as a couple.
I wouldn't do it because I sound like a fog horn.

dragonflyflew · 09/08/2019 02:24

I’ve been to two weddings where the grooms sang. They were musicians and both were fucking epic! Both at the reception later on when people were well lubricated

Seahorseshoe · 09/08/2019 02:33

It's a lovely thought, but in practice, I think you'd be worried about it and it become a "thing" that detracts from your day.

I'd be cringing tbh.

BUT the worst thing is, years down the line, you might be cringing yourself. Our wedding dance, the song we chose, in hindsight, was fairly cringe 😂 so trust me, don't do it.

tanitani · 09/08/2019 02:43

My friend can sing really well - and she did a sort of performance with her husband on drums and BIL.

Honestly - it was great. It was a great song, she's a great fun person and it was her wedding. So we enjoyed and celebrated.

Weddings can be cheesy in general - it's their nature. But if you'd like to do it - go ahead!
You can't please everyone (as you can see by the thread) so just do what makes you happy.

tanitani · 09/08/2019 02:44

Also I forgot to add - me and DH sang a goodbye/thank you for coming type song at our wedding.
Yes I was nervous, yes it was also probably cheesy but everyone got in to it and on the day I remember the words (in another language too) and we had fun.

Yeahnahmum · 09/08/2019 05:40

It would be a 10000% lovely op!
I wish i did it at my wedding but i was to nervous. Later i realised that vodka was invented for those kinda moments haha.

Do it at the reception. Maybe get your bridesmades involved as well?

Oh op please do it. Even though the most i read here is "cringe " etc. But it isnt cringe. Maybe it is a cultural thing? Where i com from it is all about music. Dancing. Singing. Always . Blush

EdWinchester · 09/08/2019 05:52

It would be such a cringe fest.

I’ve been to a wedding where the groom sang to the bride. He was a good singer but everyone took the piss and thought him a wanker.

dee103 · 09/08/2019 06:08

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2aE0nSQTw0k

Here's a video of something similar. I try to like it but it makes me cringe.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 09/08/2019 06:13

Did you have a song in mind?

CorBlimeyGovenor · 09/08/2019 06:47

@Cacacoisfarraige

Grin
KickingAStick · 09/08/2019 06:49

Why is everyone ignoring the OP who, after reading the the first half of the thread, decided against it Confused - no need to keep beating her with the stick of how bad an idea it is!

Hope you have a lovely wedding OP Flowers

Beesandcheese · 09/08/2019 06:55

Really cringe. You should also know if you can sing, given your studies. Can you?

CorBlimeyGovenor · 09/08/2019 07:00

@flymaybe

Am laughing so much at the turning.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 09/08/2019 07:00

Gurning not turning

cakecakecheese · 09/08/2019 07:15

My friend is an amazing singer and sang at her wedding, everyone was blown away by it.

EskewedBeef · 09/08/2019 07:33

Do you all cringe and shit your pants when a couple say their wedding vows, too?

Only if they've written their own vows when the standard ones are better, and not the shitting (who said anything about singing making them do poo-poo?).

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/08/2019 08:07

Do you all 'cringe' at the 'first dance', when the just-marrieds dance together and the guests are generally, traditionally, supposed to watch them do so?

Yes. I have never seen a first dance that doesn’t make me die several deaths inside. I think they’re excruciating and always awkward. Fortunately, DH and I agree completely on this point so we didn’t have one.

Stinkycatbreath · 09/08/2019 08:19

I'd hate if I was on the receiving end of the song also wouldn't sing to anyone. I'd cringe if I witnessed it but wouldn't really care either way it's your wedding and nobody elses.