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Original poster

To have a FWB when pregnant?

427 replies

GirlOnIt · 08/08/2019 11:03

More would I be than am I, because I’ve not done anything yet.
I’m obviously single, split with baby’s dad and have been chatting with a FWB, but just as friends. Last night he got a bit flirty in his chat and suggested he’d be open to us resuming the benefits part of our friendship. I’m tempted because I do really miss sex, but feel it’s a bit off to sleep with someone who’s not my baby’s father while I’m pregnant.

I don’t know if to just give it a go and if it feels weird then say, nope I’ve changed my mind. I know him well enough to know that wouldn’t be a problem at all.

And he’s definitely single and we’d obviously use condoms.

OP posts:
SuperSara · 08/08/2019 17:00

@Happygilmorelove

Why are you talking about being disgusted at men having a 'pregnancy fetish' when OP hasn't said anything of the sort about her friend? Your imagination is running away with you.

And saying you 'find the guy distasteful'!?

I mean, WTF. The poor guy hasn't done anything worse than still find OP desirable whilst she's pregnant, according to what OP has told us. Yet he's 'distasteful'?

Some people's attitudes towards sex are absolutely mind boggling.

I'm having visions of some MNers reluctantly raising their overly long nightdresses above their knees once in a blue then laying back and thinking of England while they allow their long-suffering partner to have his wicked way for a few minutes.

Original poster
GirlOnIt · 08/08/2019 17:13

Thank you @SuperSara. I should have probably been clearer in my op, that it wasn't that I found him wanting to weird or anything. It was my own feelings about it I was unsure on.
He's a really lovely the guy. If I'm honest, I doubt he's paid much if any attention to my changing body shape.

OP posts:
Bwekfusth · 08/08/2019 17:20

@zeezee I get out a fair amount, thanks for the concern Thanks it is you that doesn't sound like you 'get out much' at the revulsion about a pregnant, single woman having sex. What is it you find so abhorrent? Would it be different for a single mother with a baby to have sex with someone that wasn't the father of her child? What on earth is the difference? But perhaps you'd also find that grim, though. Please, do enlighten me.

flashdancer19 · 08/08/2019 17:22

@GirlOnIt do whatever you feel comfortable with, there is nothing wrong with wanting sex when you're pregnant and I don't think is "icky" which is such a fucking immature and pathetic term!

As for sone of the posters on here..... well you really don't like men do you and view all of them as some sort of insatiable sex beasts!

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 08/08/2019 17:23

Then go for it if that is what you wish but be careful you don’t catch feelings for him beyond friendship. Might be just the way am reading what you have written about him but it does read like your feelings are involved already.

Happygilmorelove · 08/08/2019 17:26

Not atall I absolutely love sex trust me! I don't know maybe this is a generational thing I'm older in my 40s..think young people are more accepting of this kind of thing.

NoTheresa · 08/08/2019 17:29

Oh and FYI, we are not ON about shagging a man who IS the father of the baby ARE we dear? We are on about a pregnant woman shagging a man who is not the baby's father (whilst you are pregnant.) And shagging a man who is NOT the baby's father whilst pregnant, is NOT normal. It's weird. And a bit gross. And it would take a pretty weird man to want to do it

Agreed - even if you used the apparently very retro “dear”.🤣

StarlightLady · 08/08/2019 17:29

@SuperSara - Re: Long night dress quote. I love you! SmileFlowers

Treaclesweet · 08/08/2019 17:30

Being pregnant made me really horny! You won't have much time after to concentrate on yourself so I would absolutely live now while you can!

People can be very old fashioned still with unexamined thinking. We are still rooted in a puritanical/church based morality, where a woman who enjoys sex should be condemmed as a hussy. Bullshit IMO but a lot of people still think like that even if they don't admit it.

You go get yours OP.

Bwekfusth · 08/08/2019 17:30

"As for sone of the posters on here..... well you really don't like men do you and view all of them as some sort of insatiable sex beasts!"

This. The belief that a man who finds a pregnant woman sexually attractive is perverse really gives feminism a bad name.

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 17:31

Unexamined thinking 😄

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 08/08/2019 17:31

YANBU, go for it.

formerbabe · 08/08/2019 17:33

I'm not in the least bit outraged by this. Do what you want.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 08/08/2019 17:34

(Incidentally, undermining the whole basis of the thread, why does it matter what anyone else thinks?)

Pinkout · 08/08/2019 17:35

Nah it’s not trashy for a single Mother to have sex with someone but I’m imagining most single Mum’s wouldn’t even have their child in the same house and definitely not in the same bedroom. Your child is literally growing inside of your uterus. I don’t know why but this just doesn’t sit right with me.

I don’t think pregnant women should hide away at all but having sex with a guy who isn’t the father is an uncomfortable thought at best.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 08/08/2019 17:36

As for sone of the posters on here..... well you really don't like men do you

To be fair they seem to think that women are "grim" too Grin

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 08/08/2019 17:36

I'm in the icky camp

Obviously your relationship with the baby's dad and why your relationship broke down is none of our business but in these kind of scenarios (and there's was a very similar thread a few months ago) I guess there is the impression that the bed isn't even cold and you've moved on to the next one? And why have a child in a relationship that was clearly not stable and with someone so easily replaced?

I'm not saying you are at all but you will be judged by those that think it's a bit "loose"

M3lon · 08/08/2019 17:40

man this thread just gets more and more misogynistic as it goes on!

All we really need is for someone to come along and say sex with a baby in utero is pedophilia and we can declare bingo and resign ourselves once and for all to the fact that the victorians are very much alive and kicking in 2019.

Evilspiritgin · 08/08/2019 17:40

I think I would be more bothered by the fact he’s newly single and obviously gone through his black book of past hook-ups , texted some and obviously got a reply from op and thought I can give it a try

This man obviously didn’t know op was pregnant so they are not close most of the time

Bwekfusth · 08/08/2019 17:41

@Pinkout the foetus is not going to be aware. Nor is it going to be dirtied somehow. What's the difference with say a pregnant married woman who went down the donor route for fertility issues, who still shags her husband? That child isn't his. Is he dirty for still wanting to sleep with his wife? Is she trashy? That child is, after all, only hers if we are looking at it the way many seem to want to

RainMinusBow · 08/08/2019 17:41

I personally wouldn't have sex with a man when I was pregnant unless he was the father of the baby.

I am currently ttc and I did mention I was a little worried OH would find me unattractive if we are successful. We have a very good sex life. He said that he'll find me super sexy pregnant, just as he does now 😊

M3lon · 08/08/2019 17:42

I also think some people have forgotten how long it takes to bake a baby.

Beds not yet cold?

Its been 6 fecking months!

Do people really not start a new relationship till a year has elapsed or something?

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 17:44

Kind of depends on whether they’re pregnant or not.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 08/08/2019 17:44

I think I would be more bothered by the fact he’s newly single and obviously gone through his black book of past hook-ups , texted some and obviously got a reply from op and thought I can give it a try

I'm not seeing the problem!

SweetJasmine17 · 08/08/2019 17:45

*Nah it’s not trashy for a single Mother to have sex with someone but I’m imagining most single Mum’s wouldn’t even have their child in the same house and definitely not in the same bedroom. Your child is literally growing inside of your uterus. I don’t know why but this just doesn’t sit right with me.

I don’t think pregnant women should hide away at all but having sex with a guy who isn’t the father is an uncomfortable thought at best.*

Yes. Imagine having an fwb round with your baby sleeping next to you. It's not illegal... not really immoral... just weird. It's a bit to close

For those of you twisting people's words-- nobody said pregnant women should hide away, just that having sex with a man who isn't the father is a bit odd I guess.

Definitely not the norm and not a generational thing either. I'm 18 and most people my age probably think the same

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