I seriously don’t really like people - anyone

[SomeAfternoonDelight]

No seriously I don’t.

And is that unreasonable? Does that mean something’s wrong? It feels to me like there is. But it doesn’t really bother me. I haven’t got much feeling towards people anymore. I sometimes wish to be alone - totally alone.

Mumsnet is fascinating to see the anonymous dynamics of what’s mostly hysteria in someone’s life. Or dysfunctional dynamics. Or heartbreaking shit. And I think that’s unhealthy that, that might be why I come here. I will NC after this by the way 😂.

I have friends who I know love me whole heartedly. A DP who adores me. A mother who has always been devoted to me. Nieces and nephews who love me and depend on me. But then there’s just me. I don’t even know if I like myself? I love my dog. I really get that feeling of love in my tummy for my dog. And my DP - but it’s too intense my feelings for him it feels unreal it sickens me?

But ultimately I don’t like/love anyone, or anything. Is it the relationship I have with me? This, it’s getting tiresome. Is there something mentally wrong with me? Like something not right up in the old thinker?

Or do some of you feel this pit of emptiness that gets filled once in a blue moon?

I’ve had therapy.

There’s so much in my life that’s amazing. And I’m seriously just not living it at the moment. I’m only young - late 20s.

Fuck.

Lack of consideration for others too. Thats not helped

Neighbours, family, friends, even strangers you happen to come across...selfish and inconsiderate the vast majority.

Is it lack of standards? Are Old fashioned values and politeness not the done thing anymore?
Lack of self awareness? Resilience? Or has it always been that way and some of us are just plain old growing up?

After a lifetime of clamour and engagement teaching my early retirement through stress plunged me into a totally solitary life as, for five years my DH was out of the house for 12 hours a day.

I loved it and learned there is a great difference between loneliness which is terrible and solitude which is a luxury.

I have a life now mostly constrained to contact with the DH and DS who still lives at home at 30, the DD and DSIL who live nearby and a few family friends I see occasionally. It is more than enough. Social and mainstream media keep me in contact with the rest of humanity and I prefer my quiet village life to the busyness of towns. I do not like travelling or conventional holidays.

Of course, I am an introvert and this might be a common factor in similar souls who have posted here though it hasn’t been mentioned. Introverts are not valued in the current world of clamour and teamwork but they are perfectly happy living lives ‘far from the madding crowd.’

I feel the similar. Although I need my close friends. I just don't care. Burnout? Modern life? A trauma 5 years ago that made me cry and cry and cry.
Realising that many people aren't actually that nice.
I party hard, like to spend time with my 2 closest friends. Alongside that I need lots of downtime. I spend a lot of time at home, alone, in total peace and quiet. It's the only way I can cope.

OP, I honestly think feeling that way is a sign of depression. I would understand it more if you had a really bad relationship with DP and parents but you say they love you and you don't love them in return. That is off-key. Unless what they call love is not something that is healthy for you. (Parents who tell you they love you all the time but never register how you are feeling/show interest in your life but expect you to be at their beck and call. DP who loves you as long as your life dovetails neatly into his with no interruptions and deviations of your own. If their love is very conditional then it would make sense that you can't easily love them back.

When I was severely depressed the only people in the world I loved were my DC. As I got better, that widened to my brother too, then my sister as well, and then my DH and finally a small amount of love for a handful of close friends. I don't enjoy the experience of giving no shit at all about people who are close to me. I've had both extremes and feeling loved up about people close to you and pretty well disposed towards humans in general is by far the happier state of existence.

Thank you for this thread, it echoes how I feel most of the time. Love my kids, DH and siblings but don't really have much time for anyone else. I think that I'm quite a cold person and generally detached from the world around me. I could easily move to other side of the world and not really miss anyone. I'd miss the UK very much but not really anyone in particular.
I'm happy with a solitary life.

Interesting that trauma has been mentioned a few times. I think going through a really rough time can change a person fundamentally. I think maybe capacity for too much interaction alters.
I am an introvert, and find it difficult to do small talk or spend time with people who I really have nothing in common with. It drains me.

I used to think it was depression but now I know it’s the two fingered salute.

I care about humanity as a whole. I care about individuals, but the vast amount of individuals I'm indifferent to. I don't wish them any harm but I'd feel a lot safer and happier away from them.

I've always had a lot of empathy, and I'm quite intuitive, and I'm sensitive. I'm quite good at reading people and their intentions. I've found most people to be selfish.

I work with people in a capacity that is mentally and emotionally draining. I deal with extreme behaviour and emotions. I find it interesting but I don't find it particularly challenging to understand people. I think I'm just cynical now, I see the same patterns, the same presentation, same underlying pathology, the same sickness everywhere. Society and it's individuals are fucked.

Dysfunctional families, abuse, neglect, parental selfishness, narcissism, subjectivity largely based upon the latest commodities, and seeking validation from strangers with FB likes. The bullying in the workplace when someone dates to ask questions or simply is different. I find many people vampiric.

I've always been an introvert, I find people exhausting. I'm happiest with my DH and my children. But then I see the nuclear family perhaps as part of the problem. Most people really do only care about their own little family, and the competitive nature of society under capitalism pits us all in competition against other such families.

It sounds like you are a deep thinker and a sensitive person (not in a fluffy way but in the true sense of the word). I often feel like this, there are only a few people I truly truly like. I put up with the others but people generally do get me down. I think it’s the selfishness and arrogance. Most people don’t listen, they just want to talk about themselves all the time.

Once in a blue moon you come across a person who restores your faith but it is rare.

'Most people are cunts'? 'Most people are selfish'? That's not how I see the world. I think most people are flawed human beings trying to make their way through life. Some are not as nice as others but I try and avoid those.

Wrong thread sorry 🙄😳

I certainly feel elements of this.
I often feel I prefer the company of insects to people 🐝
I find solace in nature too. I crave silence, the outdoors and dread going to places where I know there will be loud noises or lots of people. Since having DC I’ve discovered i need alone time to de-stress and that people are draining.
I hate social media and left the SM sites I was in. SM made me really dislike people.

The problem with this kind of thinking that several people on this thread admit to, is that this is how people view you. Using the words of others on this thread, you’re boring, shallow, selfish, and have an ugly soul. Are you really that bad?

what's slightly worrying about this thread is that ALL the evidence shows that having social contact is one of the main factors in living healthily and longer. Social isolation is one of the key factors in early death.

@Atmos
What do you mean? Your post is incomprehensible.

That is true @Jingling, but the wrong sort of social contact just compounds feelings of alienation.

with 8 billion people on the planet surely they cant all be horrible

I don't like being around most people, I'm deeply antisocial at heart. I do make an effort daily to keep in touch, but I was very serious when I said to my therapist that if it weren't for my children I'd happily never go out if it were possible.

The only people I love and truly care about are my DC.

Everyone else is secondary and tbh am not bothered if I never saw them again. Maybe they feel the same, doesn't bother me.

Most friendships are very superficial, even though you may think you're close and 'feel' close.

Family can let you down just as much as friends. The only person you have in this world is yourself.

I also have no desire to be around people and only really care about my DH a couple of close friends & my dogs. I don't wish anything bad on anyone I just want them to leave me alone. It's a standing joke that I have a heart of stone/ice & my general apathy towards people has got worse since taking on a managerial role. The good news is I could win an Oscar for my performance with the team so perhaps I have sociopathic tendencies?

My dream is to move to the rural countryside and then I may be able to learn to like people again when they aren't in my face 24/7?

I like you OP! You sound like my favourite sort of indifferent person. One that would sit there having a coffee in stoney silence on a lunch break and then just get up and leave. Perfect company 😁

Yes. Me too. Apart from my DD and my sister (who is the most effortlessly likeable {lovable in my case, she's my sister} person in the universe. Or at least in Wakefield), I've got to the point where everyone else can just fuck off out of it. Too much effort exerted in life in trying to please and appease people - I'm done with that.

The idea of retiring to a remote island or village has appealed for a long time - it's part of the plan anyway.

I don't try to please and appease anyone but i really like people.

You sound like a friend of mine. She’s happiest somewhere in the countryside with nobody around but her dog. She just needs a lot of space and solitude, and a rest from being around people. Not so strange.