To roller skate in a crematorium

[whitershadeofpale]

I’ve been learning to skate at a roller derby fundamentals programme and I’m loving it- however I’m not very good and need lots of practice.

I’m not good enough to skate on uneven ground and feel very self conscious about being a woman in her mid thirties struggling to stay upright!

All of the parks nearby are very busy and hilly and uneven so not suitable for skating. I was moaning about it to DP who suggested the local crematorium, it has lovely gardens and a really smooth wide car park that would be perfect for skating on.

My instant reaction was that it would be disrespectful and wrong but when he asked me why I couldn’t articulate it. I’ve been jogging there before and see joggers every time I’m there (you cut through it to get to local playing fields and a play park) plus dog walkers, cyclists and just people going for a walk.

Obviously I’d never dream of practising at any time when a service might be on, but would it be so terrible in the evening or early morning? Logically I think DP is right and it’s just exercise the same as running but somehow it seems too exuberant and joyous to be appropriate, what do you think, wibu to skate at a quite time?

Where is it listed as a public park? That sounds most unusual, but if it’s true then there would hardly be an issue and op might have actually mentioned it in her first post? Due to it’s relevance, and all.

I did mention it, not in my first post admittedly but it's there!

I'm not giving away where I live but see www.southwark.gov.uk/parks-and-open-spaces/parks hardly unusual.

She mentioned it 2nd or 3rd page. And no it’s not unusual. Also see my 1st post about how where I live, it’s encouraged for people to go to these places and go about there business completely normally. Many of these places are privately owned woodland/parkland/meadows open to the general public, others are owned by the council and listed as parks

Oh shit their not there

Why have you even asked this question?

It sounds as if you have very little sensitivity, or common sense.

Try to be less childish.

@StrangeLookingParasite

Well, there wouldn't be any graves would there , it's a crematorium not a graveyard!!! Notwithstanding that, in crematorium grounds there are memorial gardens where ashes are scattered, and remembrance plaques, remembrance walls etc Bereaved relatives will indeed visit the ' lovely gardens' to remember their loved ones ( as I do myself for both my mother and father) and I would find it difficult to see someone whizzing about on rollerblades particularly if it was obvious that they were practising a hobby rather than 'passing through '

I doubt OP is going to be whizzing by when there's a ceremony on. Having said that, if I was at a funeral, I'm not sure I could bring myself to be enraged by a lone roller skaters presence. I'm not sure I'd honestly give much of a shit. Unless she clattered in to the service.

I run through a local cemetery opposite me but it's been deconsecrated mostly and is on a public footpath and is also a heritage site. I'd never dream of running through a 'working' cemetery or crematorium. Some places are sacrosanct.

It is becoming ever more apparent where Brexit came from, given the lamentable lack of critical thinking skills demonstrated on here.

I mean, vulnerable. Ask yourself what your elderly grandma, mourning the loss of her own 90 year old mother might think if you labelled her vulnerable.

Noooooo! A skater! Nooooo! Could anything be worse?....

She'd've smacked you one for your patronising 'attitude'. And have been aware that people deemed 'vulnerable' risk getting rights taken from them, 'for their own good'.

Define 'sacrosanct'.

Why is a crematorium 'sacrosanct'?

'Regarded as being too important or valuable to be interfered with'...

We don't regard birth as that, yet death, part of the same continuum, regardless as to whether the deceased was a paragon of virtue- or a cnut 😉 is 'sacrosanct'

No way. I’d have been upset seeing someone having fun in a place where I was distraught at losing a member of my family.

@Bwekfusth

Not sure if you are replying to me re the whizzing comment, but I thought I was clear that I wasn't referring to the actual ceremony, rather time when relatives visit the grounds to remember relatives, ( in my case my parents) which can be at any time

Jinxed I recall walking through town after my dad had suddenly died, far too early.

Oh, the resentment I felt at seeing other families out walking with their own 73 year old, alive dads/ granddads.

How dare they carry on, like life goes on? Didn't they understand that I'd just lost my dad?

But I am a grown up and understand that yeah, life does actually 'go on', laughing families and roller-skaters included.

Perspective.

Several pp with direct experience of bereavement have explained why they wouldn't like this. There are not that many spaces set aside for remembering loved ones really, can't we just leave them in peace and find somewhere else?

Is OP's right to a nice smooth flat car park really more important than the sensibilities of someone mourning, say, the loss of a partner or child?

I don't think it's particularly frothing to say : find somewhere less contentious.

hell

Fucking hell, you can’t find a nice, smooth road anywhere else?

@Miljah it has nothing to do with Brexit voters; that's a weird response. It has to do with respecting our culture i.e. having respect for the dead. That's why we doff our caps at funerals, don't desecrate graves, attend memorial services, don't overtake hearses, follow the wishes of the deceased when executing wills, and so on. It's a cultural norm.

Brexit, lmao FFS.
Is there anything that doesn't get blamed and twisted into a whinge on Brexit?!
"People think roller skating in a cemetery or crematorium is disrespectful - Brexit!"
Lol

Nope. Crems are in constant use by recently bereaved families.

The space is their specifically for bereaved families to visit loved ones graves. It isn't a public space for any kind of leisure activity.

Just read your update. If there are absolutely no graves / places where ashes are scattered and it's outside of the hours that they're doing services then I feel differently!

Just as an aside - since it isn't relevant to this situation anyway as there are no graves.

When cemeteries are listed as 'parks' it's usually because it's a historic graveyard that is no longer in use for new burials.

That's different - no one has any issue with people walking around graves, it's the potential impact on the recently bereaved and those that are visiting to have quiet, reflective time at a family member's grave.

No-one will be doing that at a historic graveyard.

That's the case for the cemeteries listed in the link to Southwark parks.

I'm sorry @wheresmymojo but that's incorrect, I know the area well (but don't live there) and with the exception of Nunhead and Camberwell Old Cemetery , they're all still currently in use.

I think there should be a new term like Godwin's law for how long it takes in an online discussion before Brexit comes up

No, the fact that it might upset even one person should be enough to deter you (and I speak as someone else in her late 30s learning to skate). It’s noisy, it’s frivolous, it’s not what it’s intended for even if it is designated as a park. There are so few places people can go for quiet contemplation these days without other people messing about making a racket. Give this one a miss. I used to jog through a cemetery and I don’t do that any more because it’s not what the space is intended for.

@Mydogmylife no I wasn't. Just a general whizzing.

@Bwekfusth
Cool!