To roller skate in a crematorium

[whitershadeofpale]

I’ve been learning to skate at a roller derby fundamentals programme and I’m loving it- however I’m not very good and need lots of practice.

I’m not good enough to skate on uneven ground and feel very self conscious about being a woman in her mid thirties struggling to stay upright!

All of the parks nearby are very busy and hilly and uneven so not suitable for skating. I was moaning about it to DP who suggested the local crematorium, it has lovely gardens and a really smooth wide car park that would be perfect for skating on.

My instant reaction was that it would be disrespectful and wrong but when he asked me why I couldn’t articulate it. I’ve been jogging there before and see joggers every time I’m there (you cut through it to get to local playing fields and a play park) plus dog walkers, cyclists and just people going for a walk.

Obviously I’d never dream of practising at any time when a service might be on, but would it be so terrible in the evening or early morning? Logically I think DP is right and it’s just exercise the same as running but somehow it seems too exuberant and joyous to be appropriate, what do you think, wibu to skate at a quite time?

Sorry I can’t see this working at our local crematorium. I get that it won’t be during a funeral or a ceremony where ashes are being scattered but people come to visit headstones all the time. The gardens are a quiet place to reflect and I can definitely think of people I know who would be really upset if they turned up to lay flowers and saw someone skating around the car park.

You would be extremely disrespectful, yes. Do you always have this much disregard for others ?

We have a lot of tennis courts/basket ball courts that are frequently unused, especially at the times you mention. Is that an option?

Im not sure about the OP'S crematorium but ours does have graves.

I personally do not find this disrespectful. My lovely old ma who was cremated just before Christmas would I think rather like this. HOWEVER I’m sure many in the surrounds of the crematorium would find this hugely disrespectful. Crematoriums (if there are services here) are busy places with undertakers, florists, religious celebrants, organists, etc doing their jobs. Jobs which are about dignity and remembrance. Add in families and attendees many of whom may be there early or late and it would feel to many that skateboarding really was inappropriate to the sacredness/place of reflection and remembrance etc.

I had to pop back to a crematorium totally unexpectedly and on a day of no services to pick up some flowers left behind in error. I would have been really upset on that day to see someone skating. Other times no problem. That day I would have been really upset - to do with lack of respect.

Given cars, I presume, drive over the car park I can’t see OP is going to be any worse, especially when the crematorium is shut.

Unless people are scattering Great Aunt Maud on the tarmac, in pretty sure ashes aren’t an issue.

Definitely not if people will be there for services. It would be quite disrespectful I think.

If there are times when it's definitely not in use for its primary purpose then I expect it's fine.

completely different kettle of fish than someone roller blading about.

I genuinely don't see the difference

Back when I played football for a local club, we played at the crem. I always thought it was a bit weird but it was just the norm - every Saturday and Sunday, it was full of children playing football and having fun.

Yeah if I saw a grown adult (which I'm assuming you are!) roller skating around a crematorium car park id think you were a bit odd to be honest - doesn't matter if it's early morning or in evening they usually open all the time for quiet reflection for visitors and I'd be a bit annoyed if you were wheeling round whilst trying to have a moment!

It's not about the dead it's about the people mourning them if you are there for a funeral or to remember you don't want to see someone whizzing round on skates.

I think that if it's ok for you to go there to practise your hobby, then it is ok for everyone to go there to practise their hobby.

So several people doing roller skating crossovers, maybe some teens on skateboards, a few people using the nice smooth car park for a game of basketball, a couple of people arranging a car meet maybe?

Honestly, your council provides areas designed for leisure and recreation. A crematorium is not it. Someone passing through - walking, running, cycling - or sitting quietly eating their lunch, is not the same at all.

@NotAngelinaJolie maybe you should take some comprehension lessons or even just reading. Your hyperbole just makes you seem like a frothing idiot- there’s no dancing on people’s graves- there’s not even any skating in an empty car park!

Opinion is definitely polarised but I’m going to go with my gut and not do it because even if it’s unlikely I wouldn’t want to run the risk of upsetting anyone who’s grieving. Although for what it’s worth if I visited a crematorium where any of my loved ones had had services at an evening or weekend, it wouldn’t bother me to if somebody was quietly practising away from the gardens and chapel.

@Ginmel of course not, I’m not going to do it for a start and as many things in life a query was born out of conversation, I don’t need an imaginary DP, it would hardly change anything about the scenario would it?

m not sure about the OP'S crematorium but ours does have graves. maybe you would be if your RTFT

Learning to roller skate? Seriously?
Yes seriously. I’m learning to play roller derby and skating is obviously part of that. It’s great exercise and a new skill, maybe you should try it and the you’d chill a bit and stop making shit up.

From the details in the OP, I don't think she's at the gliding stage yet awhile
No need to be so bitchy, I can skate and stand up but outdoors is very different to a smooth indoor surface and like anything practice is needed to get good.

Honestly, your council provides areas designed for leisure and recreation
I agree with you but as an aside I looked up the crematorium off the back of this thread to see if it had any rules online about dog walking/ ball games etc and was surprised to see both the crematorium and cemetery that’s attached to it listed as a local park.

I suppose, OP, really, its a mixed bag of responses here .

If it was me being cremated (though I see you mean early morning or evenings anyway) it would bother me not . It might bother my mourners though . PS Happy to see that a newer generation to mine (Generation X, teen and young adult in 80s) are into Disco Derby though .

Jesus Christ the Victorians have a lot to answer for....

Where I live OP (also in the UK), we have burial spaces where life is actively encouraged to go on around the dead. Dog walkers, joggers, ramblers, children playing, anything goes. By all accounts it’s a great comfort to the relatives that use those spaces.

Essentially what you’re asking is, would it be ok to skate AFTER HOURS in a CARPARK SET AWAY FROM A CREMATORIUM WHICH ALSO DOUBLES AS AND IS LISTED AS A PUBLIC AREA (the capitals are for the heard of reading). I don’t think there’s anything wrong there.

I'd come down on the not appropriate side, it's not just about the services but the people visiting their loved ones that have the potential to be upset.

Why are people continually saying “there are no graves there”? You can have the ashes buried there if you wish, or just install a Memorial plaque or stone to visit (at the one I was at, at any rate). It’s not just a burning facility, for fuck sake

Yes . my DD was cremated a few months ago and the next day we went again as DM wanted some flowers from the wreaths (we asked mainly for donations to the British Lung Foundation) to press them then put them in frames with backing cardboard etc / Anyway I digress . Where they put the flowers for 24 hours is by a big pond and there are various little plaques built into the stone around it

On the few occasions I've been in a graveyard/cemetery, it's the quietness of the place that has struck me, especially when it's in the middle of a town. It's lovely, respectful and quietness helps reflection.

But also, in the world-stopping time of grief, to some people seeing the fact that the world doesn't stop and life does actually go on can be comforting. It was for me. Sort of a visual reminder that you will get through the grief, if you see what I mean? Others might not feel that way. But I'm talking about people walking by, birds tweeting, yes even people sat chatting having lunch etc.

I would say roller-skating is pushing those boundaries somewhat - so no.

I’m trying to put my finger on why it’s disrespectful.

My son’s ashes are sprinkled in a garden in a crematorium; we go occasionally to visit his plaque. I suppose it’s one thing if people were reflecting on a life years later and saw someone else jogging or walking by. But on the second saddest day of my life when I was saying goodbye to him (saddest was the day he died) if I saw someone roller skating it would irritate me tremendously. I think partly because a walker or jogger feels like they’re just using it as a path to get to somewhere else, but someone practicing roller skating or cycling feels like a big misuse of the space.

I skate! Love my quads (bonts - they are beautiful and the fastest, most expensive foot ware I own!)

A coffin would be too small to practise cross overs around but you could probably side surf round it.

How you getting on with mins and 27/5? I've been stuck on 26.5/7 for so long!

Your teamies should be able to give you all the gen on local spaces to skate. Are you in Scotland? You could take part in the Great Scottish Skate! (A marathon)

I'm sure there will be other spaces you can practise on. You said you've got outdoor wheels so any pavement would do. Especially if you just want time on wheels.

Doesn't have to be "a space" or a park. Skating up and down the pavement in front of your house would be practise!

You can have the ashes buried there if you wish, or just install a Memorial plaque or stone to visit (at the one I was at, at any rate).

Ah right, so you’ve visited the exact same one as OP is talking about @HeadintheiClouds? And there was memorials and interments in the carpark? Are you having a bad day because it seems like you’re unable to grasp the basic facts of OPs posts. Or do you just enjoy being outraged and look for opportunities?

Why are people continually saying “there are no graves there”? You can have the ashes buried there if you wish, or just install a Memorial plaque or stone to visit (at the one I was at, at any rate). It’s not just a burning facility, for fuck sake

Because OP is talking about a car park after hours. I mean likelihood of a memorial plaque next to a parking space? Slim.