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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To roller skate in a crematorium

230 replies

whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 22:06

I’ve been learning to skate at a roller derby fundamentals programme and I’m loving it- however I’m not very good and need lots of practice.

I’m not good enough to skate on uneven ground and feel very self conscious about being a woman in her mid thirties struggling to stay upright!

All of the parks nearby are very busy and hilly and uneven so not suitable for skating. I was moaning about it to DP who suggested the local crematorium, it has lovely gardens and a really smooth wide car park that would be perfect for skating on.

My instant reaction was that it would be disrespectful and wrong but when he asked me why I couldn’t articulate it. I’ve been jogging there before and see joggers every time I’m there (you cut through it to get to local playing fields and a play park) plus dog walkers, cyclists and just people going for a walk.

Obviously I’d never dream of practising at any time when a service might be on, but would it be so terrible in the evening or early morning? Logically I think DP is right and it’s just exercise the same as running but somehow it seems too exuberant and joyous to be appropriate, what do you think, wibu to skate at a quite time?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/08/2019 23:04

perhaps what "respect" means is different in different cultures though. for me to feel you were disrespecting me or my dead relatives you'd need to be personally rude to me, defacing the graves, dropping litter or not picking up dog shit.

Possibly intruding on someone's grief is pretty disrespectful and anyone quietly grieving might be upset to see the OP happily skating round without a care in the world.

The opening post is all about the OP. I just think she needs to consider other people and the reason why they are there.

Sobeyondthehills · 07/08/2019 23:05

On a side note, I am not sure if it is the same as with graveyards, but some councils have bylaws for not walking the dogs in graveyards, not sure if it is the same with joggers. I assumed it has something to do with animals, till someone said cyclists are not allowed either.

I will try and find out what we were chatting about, but I am know it was to do with bylaws and also lots of graveyards being private land, so I can only assume crematoriams are the same

AnnonniMoose · 07/08/2019 23:06

Personally it wouldn't bother me, but then I am a DM who is always trying to find suitable places for the DC to roller skate.

ParkheadParadise · 07/08/2019 23:07

oakleaffy
Looks like it

Hannahlouise4026 · 07/08/2019 23:08

Thistles24 / I know of said graveyard and used to eat my lunch there often! Must be an Aberdonian thing!

Bumbags · 07/08/2019 23:09

It’s a car park.

It’s fine.

Just stop when you see a hearse.

Original poster
whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 23:10

Eating lunch, walking and jogging are not the same as roller skating OP my gut agrees with you but logically I can see no difference, can you explain why?

Thanks reveal I’ve got outdoor skates and have got plans to meet up with some derby people to skate but the nearest suitable place is over an hour away.

OP posts:
Miljah · 07/08/2019 23:10

Interesting. I wouldn't have a single problem with a roller skater in a cemetery. Or a jogger. Or a family picnicking. Or even a small, quiet group of homeless having a couple of ciders.

Death amongst life.

novasglowx · 07/08/2019 23:11

Tbh I go to the large local cemetery on community days to play Pokemon Go because it has a massive amount of pokestops. I avoid the church area if there is a funeral underway. But to passersby I'm just walking around, roller skating is a bit more in your face than I'd risk in a small emotionally charged area.

havingapanicattack · 07/08/2019 23:11

Another Aberdonian who was brought up eating McDonald’s besides the old graves .. lovely place to sit with a sandwich and a book on a sunny day for some reason !

Original poster
whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 23:12

Again to clarify if I did this a) I wouldn’t see a hearse as I’d do it around 7am in the morning or 8pm in the evening and b) I wouldn’t be skating around anybody’s grave as there aren’t any there.

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 07/08/2019 23:12

whitershadeofpale
Go for it
This thread has really made me laugh.

broken1982 · 07/08/2019 23:13

You feel self conscious about staying upright. I'd be feeling self conscious about roller skating in my mid 30's.
I think I'd burst into laugher at you, I'm sorry!

Bumbags · 07/08/2019 23:13

Then go for it.

Absolutely fantastic idea.

havingapanicattack · 07/08/2019 23:14

I wonder if it’s a Scottish thing in general , I used to live across from necropolis in Glasgow , Aussie flatmates were always appalled at the huge numbers of people walking through it with dogs, bikes etc ...

WalkofShame · 07/08/2019 23:14

There is a huge difference between a cemetery and a crematorium in my opinion. A crematorium is active throughout every day with people who are recently bereaved, cemeteries are less frequently used (but in fairness rollerblading around there would be wrong in my view, just less wrong than doing it in a crematorium).
Both are places for quiet reflection, not titting about on rollerblades.

ParkheadParadise · 07/08/2019 23:16

havingapanicattack
I also thought that.

WomanInTheWindow · 07/08/2019 23:16

Go to a car park after dark - a supermarket or closed office or a quieter footpath. Not where people are grieving!

sweetiepie1979 · 07/08/2019 23:17

No just no!!!!

MardyMavis · 07/08/2019 23:17

No it's bloody rude. If it was a couple of teenagers doing this I'm sure people would have a lot to say, just because you are In Your 30's doesn't make you better, just find somewhere else and have some respect hey.

Passtherioja · 07/08/2019 23:19

You've had responses based on each posters local circumstances. Maybe give it a go and see if you get any "tutting"...if you do, then you'll. know it's not right for the situation and find somewhere else.

Try to avoid "woo hoo!!!!" if you spin around and that might help 👍🏻

Whoops75 · 07/08/2019 23:19

It’s too noisy and playful imo

frogsoup · 07/08/2019 23:19

People are funny about graveyards. I can see that if there are large numbers of recent burials, the calculation changes, but our local municipal graveyard has had no new burials since the 1930s, and the vast majority of graves are 18-19thC. Yet the local paper still occasionally has articles about how disrespectful it is that local children play in it, dog walkers etc. Personally I really hope there are kids playing on my grave in 200 years, the thought cheers me right up Grin.

HeadintheiClouds · 07/08/2019 23:20

Grow up, fgs Hmm. It’s quite shameful that you have to have it explained to you how inappropriate this is.
I’ve actually been at a ceremony at a crematorium recently. If I’d encountered some clown careering about on fucking roller skates I’d have happily run them over.

Original poster
whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 23:28

if I’d encountered some clown careering about on fucking roller skates I’d have happily run them over. and I’m the one who’s shameful for merely thinking about something?! Can you read? Because if you’d read the thread you’d see that the situation isn’t analogous, unless you went to a ceremony held at 8pm in a car park!

Ffs you’d think I’d said I’d start practising crossovers around a coffin!

OP posts: