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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To roller skate in a crematorium

230 replies

whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 22:06

I’ve been learning to skate at a roller derby fundamentals programme and I’m loving it- however I’m not very good and need lots of practice.

I’m not good enough to skate on uneven ground and feel very self conscious about being a woman in her mid thirties struggling to stay upright!

All of the parks nearby are very busy and hilly and uneven so not suitable for skating. I was moaning about it to DP who suggested the local crematorium, it has lovely gardens and a really smooth wide car park that would be perfect for skating on.

My instant reaction was that it would be disrespectful and wrong but when he asked me why I couldn’t articulate it. I’ve been jogging there before and see joggers every time I’m there (you cut through it to get to local playing fields and a play park) plus dog walkers, cyclists and just people going for a walk.

Obviously I’d never dream of practising at any time when a service might be on, but would it be so terrible in the evening or early morning? Logically I think DP is right and it’s just exercise the same as running but somehow it seems too exuberant and joyous to be appropriate, what do you think, wibu to skate at a quite time?

OP posts:
CloudRusting · 07/08/2019 23:29

A different between walking/jogging and what you have in mind is presumably the walkers and joggers are going through the cemetery as part of a route and so only there a short time. Whereas you are going there to specifically do your activity within the grounds.

A difference between a person quietly having their lunch a you is they may well be remembering a loved one whilst you are there for your activity.

Would I myself? I dunno. Probably not but I haven’t seen the site or know what your alternatives are. If you do I’d keen an eye out for anyone who looks like they are there to remember someone and keep away/leave if you’d be visible to them. Bear in mind that some crematoriums scatter ashes (if requested to do so) on their sites and this may be a place of remembrance for the families even if there are no graves.

What about diy stores or out of town mall strips? They won’t be open 24-7 so the car parks may work.

Original poster
whitershadeofpale · 07/08/2019 23:35

Thanks Cloud I can’t drive so getting out of town is a bit of a pain and the local retail parks all seem to have fast food drive thrus in so are busy all the time, plus the shops stay open until 9 and I wouldn’t skate after dark. I’ll give it some more thought though.

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 07/08/2019 23:46

It isn't right. Would you accept some kids doing it? It sets a very bad example and surely its private grounds anyway? I was at a very sad funeral and I would view it as totally inappropriate and disrespectful.

frogsoup · 07/08/2019 23:46

You aren't anywhere near a university campus (or similar large public institution) by any chance? They sometimes have groups of buildings with large smooth(ish) areas and walkways etc all around, often deserted in the evenings and on Sundays (That's our skating area of choice locally!)

neveradullmoment99 · 07/08/2019 23:47

What if a group of kids see you doing it and decide to do it too? Really not on.

frogsoup · 07/08/2019 23:50

Seriously, can nobody read? The OP is NOT TALKING ABOUT SKATING THROUGH A FUNERAL CEREMONY!

(Though if it were my funeral, you'd be more than welcome OP, I think it'd be hilarious to have you glide through Grin )

PurBal · 07/08/2019 23:55

As a church employee... we are pretty chilled about what people do in the churchyard. If you're not jumping on or pissing on gravestones that's fine. Crems are obviously a bit different but I think it's no problem. Especially if you don't plan on doing it during services. I live in Bristol and Arnos Vales cemetery hosts weddings, craft fairs. All sorts!

Original poster
whitershadeofpale · 08/08/2019 00:03

That’s a good shout Frogsoup I’m about 20mins from a campus so I could go and investigate.

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 08/08/2019 00:07

Seriously, can nobody read? The OP is NOT TALKING ABOUT SKATING THROUGH A FUNERAL CEREMONY!

Yeh, I got that bit. Still a poor example to set to kids.

Badcat666 · 08/08/2019 00:15

Its not a bloody skating park FFS.

Crematoriums aren't a bloody fun house for you to fanny about in so you can learn to roller skate, even if you do plan to use it early in the morning or evening.

It has "lovely gardens" and "really smooth wide car park" for the people to come visit plaques and memorial gardens for .. you know... the people they have loved that have died.

And when do you think people visit these gardens so they can maybe sit in silence and maybe have a little wept? perhaps early morning before they go to work or in the evening after work? Like the same time you want to practice?

And before you play the "other people are using it" card, joggers and dog walkers are a completely different kettle of fish than someone roller blading about.

Schuyler · 08/08/2019 00:19

YABU. Surely most people jog or cycle through rather than pitch up to practice their hobby?

TwistyTop · 08/08/2019 00:30

I don't see how it is different to someone jogging or cycling.

(So long as you aren't zooming around in a glittery roller derby outfit with a boom box of pumped up 80s anthems)

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/08/2019 00:52

She's talking about the car park. When no-one's there. Ludicrous overreactions from many posters.

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/08/2019 00:54

It has "lovely gardens" and "really smooth wide car park" for the people to come visit plaques and memorial gardens for .. you know... the people they have loved that have died.

Big on criticism, not so much on reading.
There are no graves there.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 08/08/2019 01:21

There won’t be graves in a crem but there will be ashes buried and sprinkled in the gardens. That’s why they have these lovely gardens and charge a small fortune to intern ashes there.

Very disrespectful even if you were only using the car park. Where do you think people visiting the gardens will be parking? And then they see you fannying around on roller skates as though it was a play ground. NO just NO find somewhere else.

rededucator · 08/08/2019 01:27

Imagine being in the throes of grief, your partner, your parent, your child, sobbing at their grave and some idiot rollerblades past you. How fucking horrendously disrespectful

notangelinajolie · 08/08/2019 01:32

Yes, totally inappropriate to dance on people's graves.

notangelinajolie · 08/08/2019 01:45

Just no. There must be a thousand other flat places to roller skate. A roller skate rink or park perhaps? Learning to roller skate? Seriously?

MoreFrog · 08/08/2019 03:21

I think it'd be hilarious to have you glide through

From the details in the OP, I don't think she's at the gliding stage yet awhile.

BogglesGoggles · 08/08/2019 03:27

I used to play in grave yards as a child. So have my children. I’ve seen people eating lunch in graveyards (in London) and once lived next to s graveyard that was immediately next to a playground. I think it’s nice that these spaces can be put to good use.

OldUnit · 08/08/2019 03:27

Absolutely not. I can't believe this is even being asked.

OkPedro · 08/08/2019 03:31

Surely the crematorium is where a body is cremated? Do you mean where a persons ashes are “laid to rest” possibly it’s different in the uk but in Ireland you don’t attend the cremation of the body

SamanthaJayne4 · 08/08/2019 03:34

I am of the older generation OP and I see no harm at all in what you propose. Life goes on and you are sensitive to not upsetting mourners etc. Go for it!

Oysterbabe · 08/08/2019 04:34

Yabu, it's inappropriate.

Ginmel · 08/08/2019 04:55

You are obviously going to do it anyhow OP so why bother asking the question? Is OH the new "my friend's idea'?