Was I BU telling a woman not to speak to my son?

[Spinoni]

I realise I might be. But in the moment I was so annoyed.

In Sainsbury’s with DD 8 months and DS4
Son wants to go down toy isle- we don’t often to to Sainsburys so he was overly excited. As all 4 year olds are while looking for toys!

Go to the isle, he is looking and I noticed the ‘ boy ‘ toys were down the next isle.
By boy toys I mean toys I know he likes toys he has toys he’s into and toys that are quite frankly marketed at boys.
Me - ‘ ooo look DS name the boys toys are over here ‘
Interfering woman down isle to my son - ‘ you know you can play with whatever you want let your mummy know that ‘

FIRSTLY I was annoyed that I’m not ‘ forcing ‘ him to ‘ boys ‘ toys. It’s stuff I know he wants.
SECONDLY why even say anything?

The thing I massively regret is saying anything.
I said pardon?
And she replied ‘ Sorry it was just the way you said boys toys - when he can play with whatever he wants he shouldn’t be told their just for boys ‘

I replied probably not too politely telling her to mind her own business and I’ll parent how I want to and walked away.
And I could then hear her and another customer talking about me saying how rude I was ?
Was I BU?
I feel mortified I just was angry that something I said was interpreted as me forcing my son into something it’s ridiculous

Also, EE do you praise your daughter for being confident and independent too? Or does she just get praised for her looks?

If this is the case you are teaching both your son and daughter to judge women on physical appearance - and in doing so just perpetuates gender stereotypes and inequality.

Maybe the woman said something because gender stereotyping is a dick move.

Which it is.

I hate boys v girls toy aisles and wish they’d mix it up. For example all role play toys in one place (including cooking, costumes, sword play etc for example), all lego in one place (without that shitty lego friends nonsense).

Gender stereotyping is damaging to both boys and girls.

Of course unacceptable behaviour from any gender needs challenging. But assertiveness can be a good trait if used properly.

However, the language used to describe the same personality traits in men and women does differ and often what is viewed positively in men is not described as positively for women. There are some examples of the reverse being true which also need challenging but overwhelmingly it's an issue for women.

I would also challenge the definition of beauty
Look at ‘beauty’ over the last century.

Large woman were the height of beauty then cam the ultra skinny no boobs woman then the plastic barbie doll bunch.
Now we are finally heading for natural beauty with many different shapes forms and ethnicity. The fashion industry has dictated for far too long.

So at what age it becomes acceptable to divide people by their gender? Why men and women are “allowed” to have gender specific clothing, like high heels and skirts for women, suits for men, etc.

My DD (9) had a wobble about this just this year, confiding in me she wasn’t a “real girl” because she preferred jeans and tops to dresses and skirts, and preferred dark plain clothes to flowery patterns. I asked her if I was a “real woman” and invited her to take a good look at what I was wearing that day. It does matter though - especially when you’ve got a vocal pressure group arguing that if you don’t want to put on a pink tutu, the answer is puberty blockers (and no, I don’t think that’s hyperbole myself. DD has Aspergers and I’ve seen the stats)

Well if you dont mean some toys are for boys not say "boys toys". Gender stereotypes are prevalent enough without parents reinforcement. Oh and you're rude

I would like to know how many of posters who are outraged at gendered toys or gender stereotypes gave their child a gender-neutral name, or petition for mumsnet to be renamed into parentsnet. Otherwise it is just virtue signalling.

Titiana McGrath is that you?