To get fed up at being expected to dance at functions?

[SuzieSunshine]

Silly really but I really hate dancing!! I have absolutely no rhythm and can't even wave my arms or clap in time to the music. I feel so self conscious about this that it ends up ruining my night. MIL in particular is one of those outgoing people who will stand over me, try to grab my hand and pull me up to dance. I said once that I had hurt my ankle and she 'danced' off back into the crowd. Why does she do this, every time. If I'd wanted to dance I'd be up there with the rest of them. Rather than go to places covered in bandages, which would be a bit extreme why can't she just accept that I DON'T WANT TO DANCE !! BTW I have told her, several times, already. I even had to ring up a theatre once to see if the audience danced during the show. I didn't go in the end because it was an 'all singing all dancing' show and I've been to concerts on my own, where nobody knows me so I don't feel any pressure to dance. :) I am actually laughing while I'm typing this as it sounds so trivial but it really affects me!!

I'm exactly the same. I do NOT dance. I hated it as a kid, as a teen and still hate it now (50!) I'm sociable if we are at a function but the thought of the dance floor fills me with horror. And I have the coordination of a blind drunk moose in heels...

Dh loves to dance, always has... so I point him in the direction of the dance floor and off he goes. He accepts I don't and won't and we are both ok with that. Just stay firm :)

Many years ago, I was at a friend's relative's wedding reception and had been enjoying myself chatting and having a few drinks.

Later in the evening, the relative's daughter had a go at me, saying I was ruining things for everyone. I was perplexed as I'd been having a lovely time and assumed everyone else was too. It certainly looked that way.

My crime apparently was ... not dancing! I was completely baffled by her bizarre behaviour and ability to make a mountain out of what didn't even amount to a molehill so I totally understand, OP!

YANBU I only dance if I'm hammered!!

I went to a family wedding recently and My Mum and Sister dragged me up then proceeded to make fun of my dancing. Twats.

I am just like you OP and people get so upset about me not dancing. It's really annoying! I just can't do it though. I just freeze to the spot on the dance floor...not that I've tried for several years. I don't really go to things now, or leave early.

I loathe facing too and won't go if I have to.

Oh OP I feel your pain. I have been like this all my life and have always hated the people dragging you trying to force you to dance at these kind of events. Some can be quite insistant and I have had to get stroppy a few times to be left alone, thne you get the "ooh Oldraver is being a party pooper"...No just leave me alone you friggin imbeciles.

Oddly though I go to Dance music events and do dance (stomp my feet around a little) though there is never any pressured to

going to a dancing occasion and not dancing is a bit shit. Better not to go

So just because I don't like dancing then I should stay at home and not go to any social occasions where there is a possibility of dancing occuring?

Dancing is like public speaking isn't it - something most people hate.

Me too..... I really don't like dancing. Of course I did when I was young, but now, I would much rather sit and have a good chat with someone. My other crime is not drinking much either, after a couple of horrendous experiences as a teen, it put me right off. I will have an occasional glass of champagne or white wine, a beer in summer, or a gin and tonic or a pimms (that's a long list , to be social, but I only have one or two a week, and I don't smoke. How boring am I?

As a party goer if you're noticing who is dancing and who isn't, you're not doing it right! At a function, everyone should be able to enjoy themselves either dancing or not and the dance police should be asking themselves why they are incapable of having fun if certain people are not on the dance floor. It's fun to dance together if you like it, bloody torture if not.

I can’t dance, but not am I particularly bothered about looking stupid when doing anything - so dance I do (often with not much clothing on!)

But if you don’t like it, don’t do it, and just be firm with people who try to make you. Though generally people aren’t being malicious, they just want you to have fun and worry that you’re bored or annoyed if you sit at the side with a cat’s bum face. As a previous poster said, I never notice who’s dancing and who isn’t. Just try to smile when not dancing and interact with people so they know you’re still okay.

My cock of a brother in law used to drag me onto the dance floor as a teenager and I hated it. Still shudder when I think about it.

While I'm fully supportive of 'nobody who doesn't want to dance should be made to' - I love dancing and my OH can't, won't and doesn't.

At events where I know nobody but him, the dance floor can feel a bit lonely, and the slow dances (he won't do those either) just over emphasises that gulf between us.

So, while you're not wrong not to want to dance, maybe ask your OH how they feel about dancing solo (I mostly love it, but, just sometimes when everyone else seems to be dancing with their OH and I'm whirling about solo...I feel deflated).

The same thing happens to me! I've been called boring a couple of times for not wanting to dance and I think it's so rude - to me, dancing is boring but I'd never tell someone that if they were enjoying themselves!

My husband doesn't dance either, luckily, so at usual dancing events we enjoy chatting with a drink, boring as that may be!

Oh this is so encouraging!! Exactly - I really enjoy myself without having to dance - it's just the awful black cloud of doom as I see my MIL approaching during the 'fun dancing bit' that ruins it. She makes me feel like I'm a real killjoy!! I also remember years ago, I was walking back from the bar and slipped on some spilt drink and did a sort of wild, trying to balance, arms out to steady myself manoeuvre and when I said, jokingly, 'I hope no one noticed' my friend said 'Oh I thought you were dancing'!!

yup, I have only ever tried dancing once when I was 17 and drunk, awful, uncoordinated and embarrasing, I just cannot do it and dont know how to. I have never danced again, I dont go out much and in the past it has been commented on: "why is SpaceFly not dancing?" "You havent danced yet, get up there"

Err, no frig off, I hate it. I am now ill so have a good excuse but it doesnt stop the comments

I’m another who doesn’t ‘do’ dancing. I don’t enjoy it, am no good at it (even though, as a child, I did a lot of dancing exams so know how to dance) and much prefer to sit to one side and watch. Was at a wedding last week where someone really didn’t want to accept that I wasn’t going to dance and kept coming back to me - in the end I had to point out that, at 30+ weeks pregnant with twins, having been with the bridal party since 8am and fully involved in the wedding all day, I was simply too tired to get up and dance and was listened to.

I don’t understand why people just won’t take no for an answer!!

I hate it too, worse than people trying to drag you up are when you get a DJ actually calling you out when you just want to sit, chat and enjoy a drink. I've been known to make a beeline for the loo or the bar when necessary and it's the one time I'll use my chronic pain and fatigue as an excuse if I have to.

You could use that technique protesters employ when the police try to arrest them - just allow your whole body go limp and let her try to move you onto the dance floor. Unless she can call on the assistance of half a dozen helpers you ain’t going anywhere.

YANBU. I hate it too and feel so self-conscious when they do drag me up. I do enjoy watching others dance though, don’t know why they can’t just accept that. If I was eating something delicious and a friend said she didn’t like it, I would take no for an answer, not try to shove it down her throat!

I hate dancing too and coerced dancing is beyond vile ( don’t mind being asked where a polite decline suffices)

I’m actually quite good at dancing (actual, partner dancing though, not just waving my hands about madly or bopping up and down) but I still don’t like to dance at functions and I absolutely HATE IT when people try to force me to ‘have fun’ just because that’s what they like and want to do. Pisses me right off and if someone kept insisting I’m afraid I’d tell them in no uncertain terms to leave me the fuck alone. It’s so rude and presumptuous! So I completely sympathise.

I would tell her straight out - I don’t want to dance, don’t ask me again.

I'm the same - used to enjoy dancing when I was young but absolutely hate it now, and the thought of being dragged onto the dance floor, and told that I'm being "boring"if I try to resist, actually puts me off going to weddings.

I'd like one of these Dance Floor Draggers to come on here and explain exactly what they get out of it.