To get fed up at being expected to dance at functions?

[SuzieSunshine]

Silly really but I really hate dancing!! I have absolutely no rhythm and can't even wave my arms or clap in time to the music. I feel so self conscious about this that it ends up ruining my night. MIL in particular is one of those outgoing people who will stand over me, try to grab my hand and pull me up to dance. I said once that I had hurt my ankle and she 'danced' off back into the crowd. Why does she do this, every time. If I'd wanted to dance I'd be up there with the rest of them. Rather than go to places covered in bandages, which would be a bit extreme why can't she just accept that I DON'T WANT TO DANCE !! BTW I have told her, several times, already. I even had to ring up a theatre once to see if the audience danced during the show. I didn't go in the end because it was an 'all singing all dancing' show and I've been to concerts on my own, where nobody knows me so I don't feel any pressure to dance. :) I am actually laughing while I'm typing this as it sounds so trivial but it really affects me!!

I love any kind of social dancing where you are meant to do something relatively specific, so a ceilidh, French bal, contra, or a Lindy hop/salsa lesson is fine. But as soon as it's freestyling individually to pop music I want the ground to open up.

Google "five rhythms" for my worst nightmare!

Absolutely with you dancingcamper. I love a ceilidh (but only if people do it properly and follow the rules!). The problem wit freestyle dancing is that I can’t seem to dance instinctively so my thinking head is always on and it’s not relaxing at all.

However I would never make anyone join in a ceilidh dance if they didn’t want to.

Interestingly, once or twice in my youth I went to a proper big nightclub with real DJs who played “sets” not just a collection of hackneyed radio party tunes. I enjoyed that and found it easier to get lost in the dancing because the music was designed to ebb and flow and the atmosphere carried you along. Cousin Steve’s wedding reception with Dave’s mobile disco- not so much.

The other problem with wedding discos is the brightly lit room, not conducive to feeling relaxed.

YANBU!! These people are the bane of my life at every wedding, birthday do, night out we go on. There’s one in particular who insists on man-handling me, physically dragging me onto the dance floor, when I was perfectly happy where I was 30 seconds ago. I’m at a wedding on Saturday and she’s going to be there. I’ve half a mind to wait till she’s happily dancing away and then try to repeatedly drag her away from the dancefloor, whilst drunkenly slurring c’mon, come and sit down with me, it’s fun! See how she likes it (obviously I’m not going to do this...)

I have always felt self conscious when dancing too.Strangely a few weeks ago at a party ,one of my friends confided that she wasnt keen on dancing either!.I have always felt the odd one out ,and have bad co ordination coupled with a bandaged leg (long term injury) .So am at last allowed to "sit this one out"!

@SonEtLumiere - but going to a dancing occasion and not dancing is a bit shit. Better not to go

Unless it's a dancing class, there is no such thing as a dancing occasion. There are events at which one can dance but dancing is not compulsory.

At a wedding there is usually a bar or area for the non dancers.

Non-dancers don't need to be quarantined from the dancers. People generally go to the bar because they find it easier to talk.

I will dance sometimes but it has to be the perfect music/atmosphere/level of drunkenness/company for me to enjoy it and that’s about one in ten times that I’m somewhere with dancing. I agree with others that if I’m perfectly happy, not sitting with a face like a smacked arse, drinking, chatting, working the room, people watching, why on earth should someone else decide I’m not having a good time because I’m not dancing? I love sitting and gossiping and seeing what’s going on around me, that’s one of my favourite ways to spend time so why I’d give that up in order to shuffle awkwardly and sweatily wishing I could sit back down the whole time I don’t know. On the occasions I do dance I like it just fine. But it’s definitely not the high point of a night for me.

I am like you op, I also even struggle to clap I'm rhythm- thanks to Zumba which has taken me many years to not feel too self conscious I do think I'm a much better dancer. I do t like to get up unless I've had a lot to drink and I must like the songs. But I am happier sat chatting abc hate it if people try to drag me up.

I don't understand people who insist on people dancing who don't enjoy it.

My wife and I once went to a Turkish restaurant, and found they had a (very English) belly-dancer for entertainment. She tried to get me to join her.
Me. A middle-aged Englishman. In front of strangers. In daylight. With no alcohol.
I would rather have shot myself.
I pointed to my knee, and winced. (There is nothing wrong with my knee). I suggest the OP does the same-nobody can prove you are bluffing.
P.S. Some other middle-aged men actually joined her, and tried to belly dance. I wish I could burn the sight from my eyes.

Im rubbish at dancing and dont do it very often. Usually only in the company of my friends after a few.

Went to a wedding with an ex(his friends) who was very mad at me for not dancing, i was making him look a fool despite him having plenty people to dance with and me not being the only one sitting bride wouldnt even do a first dance

He didnt speak to me all night, or for half the journey home (york to glasgow) when he finally pulled into a services to apologise.

I don’t dance. I like to drink and chat. I once got my revenge on an insistent grabby type by getting a small child to approach them on the dancefloor and innocently ask “have you got a false leg?” Their face was like thunder! Lol.

A wooden leg was my eventual (made-up) excuse to refuse an insistent dance floor dragger once - he retreated apace.

(And then I was annoyed at his reaction ... )

Oh God me too. I just leave weddings when the disco starts. (Like some other posters I'm fine with ceilidhs because they have rules.)

I'd like one of these Dance Floor Draggers to come on here and explain exactly what they get out of it

Ooh - has a Dance Floor Dragger (DDD) come on yet to explain?

Aww this makes me sad OP - dancing is so fun, I do feel like you’re missing out! I hope you can learn to enjoy it someday (maybe just dance by yourself at home sometime!) but yeah being forced to dance is not good - so YANBU.

I just wouldn't go to the event in the first place, then you can be sure your not going to be asked

So that’s weddings out and potentially birthdays / work dos

YANBU! I love a dance but I wouldn't dream of forcing others to. Where's the fun in making someone do something they don't want to do, except as some kind of power trip?

It reminds me of a party I was at where my BF at the time and his friends decided to get out the karaoke machine. I am a terrible, terrible singer and felt so self conscious at that point, only BF repeatedly forced the microphone in my face and shouted at me to sing. And after the party he taunted me all the way home and chanted "coward, coward!" at me. Twat.

I think the Dance Floor Draggers are probably the same people who try and force others to drink

But at least those trying to make you drink don’t physically manhandle you in their efforts to get you to drink!

@PixieLumos - Aww this makes me sad OP - dancing is so fun, I do feel like you’re missing out

Except not everyone finds the same things fun. Personally, I really enjoy hiking. One of my friends would rather have her nails pulled off with a pliers. She loves a particular band. I would rather poke needles in my eye than listen to them.

Pixie totally sums up the draggers - no, non-dancers are not missing out on “so much fun” nor do we need to learn to love it (why??). We have all danced at some point in our lives and know very well whether we enjoy it or not! And whether or not we’re having more fun sitting chatting and doing what we choose.

Aww this makes me sad OP - dancing is so fun, I do feel like you’re missing out! I hope you can learn to enjoy it someday

• it you could say the same about anything else people enjoy and do socially but someone else doesn’t- so not just dancing but, say! Karaoke, ‘fun runs’, sports, burlesque

Yup, like so many others, I'm happy with ceilidh due to knowing the steps and rules. It's the discos or cover band occasions where people throw their arms and legs around while vaguely wiggling other parts of their anatomy that I hate. If I join in, I spend most of the time hoping I don't look as bloody stupid as I feel.

However, being an old hippy, I've been to plenty of camps where there's been drumming and dancing around campfires and that is hypnotic and freeing!

It’s not like I always hate dancing at functions - in fact I danced a lot at our company Christmas party last year, because a) I’d had enough drinks to do so and b) I was in the mood for it. But it’s my choice whether or not I want to, am in the mood for it, and will enjoy it. I am just as happy, having just as good a time, and having just as much fun whether I decide to get up and dance or sit and chat or sit and chill. If you think you’re going to cajole me into ‘having fun’ or that I will appreciate your misguided concern (read self-centred inability to let me do my own thing), you’re mistaken and I’ll happily make my irritation with you quite clear.

As a party goer if you're noticing who is dancing and who isn't, you're not doing it right! At a function, everyone should be able to enjoy themselves either dancing or not

^

I love dancing. Love it. But why would I want someone else to dance if they hated it.

At weddings I chat with new people and then when the music starts I can find dancing friends!