To get fed up at being expected to dance at functions?

[SuzieSunshine]

Silly really but I really hate dancing!! I have absolutely no rhythm and can't even wave my arms or clap in time to the music. I feel so self conscious about this that it ends up ruining my night. MIL in particular is one of those outgoing people who will stand over me, try to grab my hand and pull me up to dance. I said once that I had hurt my ankle and she 'danced' off back into the crowd. Why does she do this, every time. If I'd wanted to dance I'd be up there with the rest of them. Rather than go to places covered in bandages, which would be a bit extreme why can't she just accept that I DON'T WANT TO DANCE !! BTW I have told her, several times, already. I even had to ring up a theatre once to see if the audience danced during the show. I didn't go in the end because it was an 'all singing all dancing' show and I've been to concerts on my own, where nobody knows me so I don't feel any pressure to dance. :) I am actually laughing while I'm typing this as it sounds so trivial but it really affects me!!

Uh oh, I do apologise - I didn’t realise I would offend so many people with my love of dancing! Fair enough though - you are right @whyamidoingthis I would not enjoy hiking. @Michaelbaubles consider me a reformed ‘dragger’ - I never realised I was one and I feel quite bad. Believe me, most of us have no idea - and mean no harm.

I’d like to think it’s not done maliciously.

If they enjoy it SO much they might just not be able to believe that anyone else feels differently!

Karaoke is different I think because they’re only entertaining when the people singing are shite so I’m more of a ‘the worse you are, the more entertained I’ll be’ girl!

I hate it too, worse than people trying to drag you up are when you get a DJ actually calling you out when you just want to sit, chat and enjoy a drink.
Unfortunately the horror is compounded by this because the bastards who booked the DJ will tell him/her off for not trying goad everyone into dancing.

Agree with you op

Have found one of the best ways to try to stop it is, once they’ve asked, you’ve said no and they start to harass you join in, is to get in first and ask why they are beaning such a party pooper, you (and the people that you’re talking to) are having a lovely time and that they are spoiling your day by harassing you to dance; that you are a full grown adult with full legal and mental capacity who knows when they want to dance and when they don’t want to dance, and perfectly capable of getting up and walking to the dance floor when you are ready to dance (omitting to mention they’ll be waiting for hell to freeze over first) but until then, please stop with the party pooping hartassment and let you enjoy the party/wedding/event properly as you were doing.

If they ask again, just keep repeating that they are the person spoiling the party, keep twisting it back on them being the party pooper. They might struggle to process initially because they can’t inagine other people not doing what they want you to but they also don’t like being told they are spoiling the party so tend to move on to others quite quickly.

I have a big birthday coming up and my invitation specifically warns 'No Disco'. I hate dancing (unless it's a ceilidh) and at my party it's going to be my rules. I'll make a playlist but it will be quiet enough that people can drink and chat without having to bellow in each other's ears.

That’s as bad as insisting people dance!

Tbh I’d rather be dancing with friends than making awkward chit chat with other guests all evening!

When you’re dancing, you’re not expected to “mingle”!

Because loads of people (me included) want to dance really but are too shy to do it without encouragement. Just explain?

Totally agree op, hate feeling pressure like this. I enjoy functions but in my own way. I like people watching! I have 2 dd's, one is the first on the dance floor, the other prefers not to dance, so now I have the perfect excuse to stay put as I don't want her sat on her own.

I can't dance. I'm tall too so I feel like a drunk giraffe on speed

I like choreographed dance. I go to ballet and tap classes and love a good ceili. But I hate the whole bobbing about on the dancefloor thing and do not want to be hassled about it. When I was in my teens and early twenties my friends loved my refusal to dance because there was always someone to mind the drinks and handbags

At a family wedding my ex's mum accused me of "not participating in family activities" because I didn't want to dance. FFS.

@PixieLumos - I didn’t realise I would offend so many people with my love of dancing!

I don't think anyone's offended by your love of dancing, just your assumption that anyone who doesn't love it is just hasn't managed to discover its joys yet. But you've realised the error of your ways, so all is good .

Re you hating hiking - Aww this makes me sad - hiking is so fun, I do feel like you’re missing out! I hope you can learn to enjoy it someday (maybe just hike by yourself near home sometime!)........Sorry. I couldn't resist

@whyamidoingthis

@familycourtq "when you get a DJ actually calling you out when you just want to sit, chat and enjoy a drink.
Unfortunately the horror is compounded by this because the bastards who booked the DJ will tell him/her off for not trying goad everyone into dancing."

Of course if these dj's didn't reel off the same old shite every time (I swear they must just press play on a few greatest hits compilations on cassettes then pretend to look busy all night with all that kit they drag along with them), people might want to dance of their own accord...

Not enough Happy Mondays, Smiths and Joy Division played at weddings in my humble... 😁👍

Well, I quite like dancing but I'm never sure how to join in, where to stand, who to dance next to etc. So I'm grateful to the dance floor draggers for helping me get up and making me feel included.

Oh me too! I used to enjoy dancing only if I was drunk but I no longer get drunk. I have no rhythm. I feel stiff and awkward. I'm forced to dance then when I do people tell me I'm not going for it, not dancing properly etc. It's so humiliating. I'm already dreading a big new year's eve party with my in laws because I know everyone will be dancing.

I think dance floor draggers believe that joining in the dancing is part of “singing for your supper” in the same way as making small talk- e.g. you’re contributing to the general atmosphere of the party, which is something you owe to your hosts. Especially at a wedding. I think they genuinely believe that if everyone isn’t dancing the party is somehow a failure. And of course add on to that that most of them are more than a bit pissed, and therefore not inclined to take no for an answer or realise or care when they’re pissing someone off or embarrassing them.

For clarity, I Am Not A Dancer. Very, very occasionally when I have consumed exactly the right amount of alcohol, I enjoy it. The rest of the time, the harder you push, the stonier my refusal will get.

@VanGoghsDog it doesn't sound like you need to be dragged then, just asked! It's the pestering after you've said no that's annoying.

I only do it while hammered - in part because that is when I feel least self conscious and my natural rhythm appears!

I’m probably that obnoxious drunk who tries to drag everybody onto the dance floor while simultaneously hiding away and hating people for hassling me while sober!

I just tell people who try to make me that I'm too cool to dance.

We've found a Dance Floor Dragger (DDD) - it's Ivana Pee!,,

@Doobigetta well, they have a point!

Imagine nobody dancing at the reception you’ve paid for and carefully planned etc. I’d imagine you’d feel utterly shite!

@Aridane 😂 I’m actually not at all! I have a HUGE family so have been to countless weddings etc. and we’re all dancers!

I’ve seen DDD definitely! But have never felt the need to drag a body onto the dance floor!

I just wonder what your party would be without dancing?! It doesn’t sound like that poster was talking about a dinner party so I’m lost!

I’d rather sway along to Build Me Up Buttercup than have to make small talk for a whole night!

I hate dancing. At clubs during university years I was always chatting to the guys holding drinks for their girlfriends, while my friends danced the night away.

Luckily DH hates it too, so at functions we just merrily sit at a table and get drunk. Our friends and family all accept it, thankfully.

But Ivana, it’s like anything else with planning a wedding- you’re supposed to want your guests to have a lovely time, not just use them as walk-on parts in your fantasy. You should know most of your guests well enough to know whether they like dancing or not, and if you know that a large number don’t, maybe you shouldn’t set your heart on having a big disco? Careful planning takes into account the way other people are likely to behave and works with it.

Yeah. You’re right I suppose. I just can’t imagine that many people hare it that much!