To get fed up at being expected to dance at functions?

[SuzieSunshine]

Silly really but I really hate dancing!! I have absolutely no rhythm and can't even wave my arms or clap in time to the music. I feel so self conscious about this that it ends up ruining my night. MIL in particular is one of those outgoing people who will stand over me, try to grab my hand and pull me up to dance. I said once that I had hurt my ankle and she 'danced' off back into the crowd. Why does she do this, every time. If I'd wanted to dance I'd be up there with the rest of them. Rather than go to places covered in bandages, which would be a bit extreme why can't she just accept that I DON'T WANT TO DANCE !! BTW I have told her, several times, already. I even had to ring up a theatre once to see if the audience danced during the show. I didn't go in the end because it was an 'all singing all dancing' show and I've been to concerts on my own, where nobody knows me so I don't feel any pressure to dance. :) I am actually laughing while I'm typing this as it sounds so trivial but it really affects me!!

@IvanaPee - I just can’t imagine that many people hare it that much!

That's really weird. Loads of people hate loads of things that loads of people love. Life would be pretty boring (and the dance floor really packed) if we all liked the same things.

I love dancing if the music is good and there is space on the dance floor. I hate crap music or jammed dance floors and will refuse to get up in those circumstances.

I had knee replacement surgery a few years ago. One of the few perks is that I can legitimately get out of dancing. People don't have to know that my new knee is better than my old one ever was!

@whyamidoingthis it’s weird that I don’t think an entire wedding full of guests would hate dancing enough not to want to participate at all?

You’ve literally said you enjoy it if the circumstances suit your particular needs.

So how is it weird?

I have a dance-loving family and some of them are definite draggers. When DH and I got married we made sure that the venue had a separate room for dancing and briefed my family and the DJ very clearly that there was to be no first dance and no encouragement of people onto the dance floor. DH and I never even went into the dance room and most of our guests didn't either. My family had a great time and so it was worth the extra expense - I just didn't want that to come at the cost of our enjoyment of the day.

I hate dancing. To me it's not fun in the slightest.

Anyone who tries to repeatedly force me just gets the blank stare and a repeated "No. I hate dancing". I'm past being polite to people who try to force me to do anything.

I adore Asian horror movies. If MIL hassles me to dance I tell her I'll dance when she's watched Battle Royale or World of Kanako with me. We don't all enjoy the same things and that's fine, but i get sick of forceful extroverts nagging me to do shit I hate. Be grateful I'm at a bloody social event in the first place.

If I had it my way I'd refuse all parties with a DJ and stay at home with my kindle, my cat and a bottle of red every time.

I just can’t imagine that many people hate it that much!

Think this thread establishes that fairly conclusively! But I suspect it’s as much about the coercion as the actual dancing- it certainly is for me. Nobody likes being pestered or nagged at. Nobody likes being told they’re no fun. Nobody likes having to abandon a position where they’re comfortable for one where they aren’t. And nobody likes being told as an adult that they are mistaken about their own preferences. All of those things irritate a lot of people a great deal.

@IvanaPee - it’s weird that I don’t think an entire wedding full of guests would hate dancing enough not to want to participate at all?

You didn't say that in your post. All you said was that you can't imagine many people hate it that much, which suggests that you believe it is odd or unusual to not like dancing. I find it weird that you can't imagine there are many people that don't like dancing, particularly when so many on this thread have said they don't like it.

Well I was referring to a wedding reception since that’s what we’d been discussing.

I can see where you got confused.

I’ve half a mind to wait till she’s happily dancing away and then try to repeatedly drag her away from the dancefloor,
Love this idea. Let’s all start dragging the Dance Floor Draggers back to the seating areas, insisting that they be much happier settling down for a nice chat 😀

@IvanaPee - Well I was referring to a wedding reception since that’s what we’d been discussing.

I guess it would depend on the size of the wedding and your social circle. But yeah, most weddings tend to have a quorum of dancers.

Let’s all start dragging the Dance Floor Draggers back to the seating areas, insisting that they be much happier settling down for a nice chat

Either that or strongarm them over to the buffet and do a Mrs Doyle on them with the quiche and cheese & pineapple on sticks!

That's inspired, Tamzin!

(you can be a Dance Floor Denier)

Nobody tries to get me to dance now that I’m in a wheelchair, although that would be a drastic step to avoid dancing. I suspect some of my family sit with me as soon as the dancing starts to avoid the DDDs!

I totally am with you op.
Only difference, I love dancing, I dance all round the house daily, BUT only to music I like.
I hate being pulled up at parties and made to dance to music that does nothing for me!

Another non-dancer here. I used to go to ceilidhs in my teens and was perfectly content with group dancing, but the idea of a nightclub or dance floor at a social event fills me with horror. I have left many events early, especially staff parties, as the drinks flow and the dance floor fills up and the music is deafening so you can't chat. If I'm not drinking, not dancing and can't talk to anyone, it's time to go home.

YANBU. I organised our wedding day so that there was no opportunity to dance.

My pet hate is kareokee. There was a time when it was everywhere, you couldn't go to a pub or event without it being on. Fair enough for those who want to join in but I couldn't stand people trying to persuade me to sing.

I was a shy child and my best friend was too. Once all cousins starting hitting 18 etc the partys started every couple of months. My friend always came with me. We was happy sat at a table watching the dancers. My aunt and female cousin, very glamorous older (to us) always tried persuade us on to the floor. It turned these events into terrible anxiety. All came to a head when uncle and cousin tried to drag us we held onto table so all lot was dragged on to the dance floor. Leaving us sat on dancefloor on chairs with table too. We was probably 15 16 at the time.
My cousin still tries to drag me on but I'm older now and dont care about telling her no.

@RoyalChocolat what did you do? Interested because that’s just what we’ve been talking about! 😊

How old are all these posters who “enjoy a good ceilidh”?!

@IvanaPee - How old are all these posters who “enjoy a good ceilidh”?!

I'm 54 and enjoy a good ceilidh.

Dance floor draggers need to be kneecapped

I’ve never been to a good ceilidh not since primary school.

I never dance. Ever.

My MiL does this EVERY TIME we are out. I’ve been with my DH nearly 15 years so why does she do this? It’s so annoying. I feel your pain OP.

I now know that it's not abnormal to hate dancing and I never expected so many people to share my views on this so thanks all!! Am truly loving the thought of dragging people OFF the dance floor to have a nice chat instead. Also I'd love to just smile sweetly at my MIL and just tell her to go and Fuck Off. I'd never do it but the thought is there. Maybe if anything, the dance floor draggers, will now think twice before assuming you need their encouragement to get up and dance. NO WE REALLY DON'T SO JUST LEAVE US ALONE. CHEERS!!