To think that men shouldn't come into breastfeeding rooms

[Lycidas]

I occasionally use the John Lewis feeding room (mainly for the delightful motion of the rocking chair), and I've noticed that men tend to enter quite often in order to chat to their partners, even when there are other women feeding in there. There are three chairs in total. The feeding area is separated from the wider changing room by a curtain, which suggests that there should be some degree of privacy for self-conscious women.

Fair enough, the men who tend to go in will make a conscious effort to just face their partners, but I still find it mildly uncomfortable to have them in there, and a distraction from the whole experience tbh, looking up, covering just 'in case', which I don't particularly want to be doing in a changing room. If I wanted to be faffing about with a muslin I may well just feed outside as normal.

AIBU?

Again. Now listen.

The rooms are for women only. Please understand this.

I think it's you that needs to listen.

A breast feeding room is for women who are breast feeding.

A feeding room is for anyone feeding a baby - male or female, breast or bottle. So mum, dad, granny, childminder - anyone.

What if some women start saying they are uncomfortable with men seeing them eat because their mouths are open/exposed. Do we start saying cafes & restaurants must be segregated so women can use any/all but to the expense of couples who wish to eat together?

That comment is just all kind of stupid.

Isn't it interesting that the people determined to make their point that women have no right to expect privacy and that men should be allowed in whatever, are only talking about what they want and how they feel?

Me, me, me, every single one of them. (Or worse, men, men, men)

Instead of considering the wider group of women and what they might want?

There are times where men need to be considered, the disproportionate amount of male suicide for example, that's absolutely a male centred issue because of damaging societal attitudes towards male emotions. So when you're talking about that situation, aye, men take priority.

When you're talking about breastfeeding, it's something done exclusively by women. Only ever women.

Men really aren't relevant to that.

I think many posters are saying that men should be allowed into changing and feeding areas but not into specifically designated breast feeding areas. I have never been into a breast feeding only area.

What isnt teasonable is to say that men arent allowed into a facility designed for anyone caring for a baby. Of course they are allowed into any such area if they need to feed or change their baby.

I wouldn't go into a breastfeeding only area and I'm a woman. Because I recognise that breastfeeding women have the right to privacy. I also never breastfed, so wouldn't ever have gone into one.

How is it not me me me to say that you don't what certain people in the space because of your own wants?

And how does anyone know what 'all women want?" What if a majority were fine with mixed feeding areas?

I don’t know what’s worse. The “i fed wherever I wanted and everyone else should too” or the “stay at home if you want privacy comments”

My dad became a huge breastfeeding supporter when I breastfed my son but I never breastfed in front of him. Not because he’s a perv or a sleeze but because I didn’t feel comfortable. Regardless of whether someone is comfortable feeding in public or not, if they decide to use a breastfeeding room for privacy then they should be given privacy. The only instance I would have asked my husband to come in to a breastfeeding room with me is if someone else’s partner was already there with them, because then I would have felt uncomfortable. It’s 2 or 3 chairs behind a curtain, no on is missing out by having to wait outside.

I wouldn't go into a breastfeeding only area

What would you deem a breast feeding area?

What if a majority were fine with mixed feeding areas?

What if only one woman, within that majority was religious and totally against another man seeing her vulnerable like that, or simply shy or the victim of sexual assault/abuse? Does that one woman have less rights than the other woman who doesn’t have a problem feeding in front of strange men? Is the other woman’s wants more important than the first lady’s embarrassment, distress or upset?

What if a majority were fine with mixed feeding areas?

A majority of us already are, and yet we can still appreciate that these are useful spaces for other women. The entire world is a mixed feeding area, why resent a tiny curtained-off corner for the women who aren’t comfortable with that?

What if a majority were fine with mixed feeding areas?

Has anyone actually asked? Because many were determined that inclusivity meant men being allowed in, at the request of other women who apparently had rights but the ones who might be uncomfortable with it didn't.

What would you deem a breast feeding area?

A feeding room, because that was the original purpose of them. To offer women breastfeeding privacy.

I could bottle feed my babies anywhere. I wasn't exposed.

The entire world is a mixed feeding area, why resent a tiny curtained-off corner for the women who aren’t comfortable with that?

Take away all the argument, all the differing views and it boils down to this.

I think many posters are saying that men should be allowed into changing and feeding areas but not into specifically designated breast feeding areas. I have never been into a breast feeding only area.

What isnt teasonable is to say that men arent allowed into a facility designed for anyone caring for a baby. Of course they are allowed into any such area if they need to feed or change their baby.

^This

I have never seen a breastfeeding area specifically so called. Until recently most people were perfectly capable of applying common sense and recognising areas, however designated, which were likely to be occupied by breastfeeding mothers and therefore off limits to men.
If this has suddenly become difficult it is because people want it to. I think thise people should be asking themselves why that is, and why the notion that women are entitled to demand this courtesy and forbearance from men is so hard for them to cope with.

If this has suddenly become difficult it is because people want it to. I think thise people should be asking themselves why that is, and why the notion that women are entitled to demand this courtesy and forbearance from men is so hard for them to cope with.

They won't though, because that would mean admitting that they are happy to remove a woman's right to consent to who sees her breast exposed.

I’m sorry but the idea that what the majority want is a criterion here is simply idiotic. The whole discussion is about what a specific group who are by definition a minority in society are entitled to expect. What the majority thinks is wholly irrelevant.

I wonder if these areas were originally called breastfeeding rooms, then gradually came to be called feeding rooms, in an effort for inclusiveness. Or even a squirmishness around the 'breast' bit?

The same way gender replaced sex, as it felt more polite/less rude.

Good argument for using specific language if there ever was one!

So it’s still all about YOUR husband

@JacquesHammer Eh?

Specific language isn’t necessary except where people are determined to be idiots. Which it seems some are. Behave like children and I guess the world will have to simplify things for you.
I didn’t need convincing that as a society we are degenerating intellectually but if I had, this thread would have done the job. Christ.

I didn't need convincing that as a society we are degenerating intellectually, but if I had, this thread would have done the job.

Agree wholeheartedly.

So it’s still all about YOUR husband Jacques hammer eh?

Can you read?

The wider picture is a phrase that has long been put into the trash can in the name of inclusion.

This thread has indeed exposed homophobic, xenophobic and racist comments. Not to forget cultural and religious intolerance.

In the US they call them lactation rooms.

@InTheHeatofLisbon Yes, I can.

I want to know how it's all about MY DH, because I stated he personally would not go into one of these room's anyway, like some men would, because he personally finds it uncomfortable AND he also agree's with the OP!

I would like somebody to please tell me, this support and encouragement that some women are saying they need their DP there for, what form does this take? Seriously, what does he actually do that means you can’t do it without him there?