To think that men shouldn't come into breastfeeding rooms

[Lycidas]

I occasionally use the John Lewis feeding room (mainly for the delightful motion of the rocking chair), and I've noticed that men tend to enter quite often in order to chat to their partners, even when there are other women feeding in there. There are three chairs in total. The feeding area is separated from the wider changing room by a curtain, which suggests that there should be some degree of privacy for self-conscious women.

Fair enough, the men who tend to go in will make a conscious effort to just face their partners, but I still find it mildly uncomfortable to have them in there, and a distraction from the whole experience tbh, looking up, covering just 'in case', which I don't particularly want to be doing in a changing room. If I wanted to be faffing about with a muslin I may well just feed outside as normal.

AIBU?

Why would a dad need privacy to bottle feed a baby?

This. I chose to bottle feed my mob, DP fed them when he was out. He fed them sitting at whatever seat he could find, because he didn't need privacy.

I've just asked him if he'd have used a feeding room and he said no, because women might feel uncomfortable having a male stranger in the room while they're trying to breastfeed in privacy.

Bigball that's it exactly the BFing rates will never increase if we don't recognise how hard it is to get BFing established. And how vulnerable new BFing mum's feel.

I've 6 year between my babies. I'd totally forgotten what it was like to have a tiny squishy new born. And I don't believe I'm alone. It's great women come on and say I BF for years and never used a room.

Are you sure not even in the early days? Did you run and hide in the car? Did you express when out?

I remember in a family changing cubical at a pool. 8wk old wanted a feed. Fine.
But i had a crazy let down and was spraying milk across the floor. Not having a cloth to catch it. DH was like . And I was glad it was only us in the changing area.

They’re just feeding rooms in JL aren’t they? Not specifically breast feeding rooms.

So if a dad needs to bottle feed his child, then the space is for him also. I bottle fed one of my DC and used the feeding rooms, much easier to sit there in peace and then change nappy after. Am I not allowed in these sacred rooms because I bottle fed? When he needed feeding it was a pain trying to find a cafe or restaurant to sit and feed him, especially on a busy Saturday afternoon. These rooms are for baby’s and parents convenience. They’re not just for women breastfeeding.

Baby feeding is not sex neutral. One of the main methods of baby feeding can only be done by the mother. So it is not like parking a car.
Like I said, 10 years ago thus conversation would not have been regarded as remotely sane. I think the fact I’ve had to make the above point demonstrates that perfectly.

They’re not just for women breastfeeding

Actually some are, and yet still men encroach onto them.

@TheBigBallOfOil it's similar in that these spaces are a nice marketing ploy by the business. Nobody is entitled to them. Nobody can make demands on them.

@JacquesHammer sometimes seats aren't available elsewhere, or involves queuing and buying a coffee to sit in a cafe, or it was raining or cold so I didn't want to sit on a street bench or my car to feed my child.. . . A whole list of reasons why I feel it's perfectly ok to use a designated feeding room, provided for that exact purpose, same as a breastfeeding parent I imagine?

Our DC were both really distract when feeding so it was good to have somewhere quiet to take them, I also bottle fed my children in feeding rooms, never occurred to me it was restricted to use by breastfeeding mother only?

Yes some are, but general rooms like the ones in mothercare as an example are for any type of feeding, they even have bottle warmers there.

If the room was for breastfeeding, then of course, it should be for women breastfeeding.

I spend half my time in Spain, they have dedicated breastfeeding rooms in the shopping centres, which works well.

That is not a relevant similarity though is it? The fact that neither car parking spaces or feeding rooms are required by law has no bearing on the question of who should use them, once they are provided.
Again, 10 years ago ... god help us really

And people wonder why breastfeeding rates are so low.

Female spaces are disappearing before our very eyes...... all helped along by women who insist on their partners being at their side 24/7

@TheBigBallOfOil but nearly every one I have seen is a feeding room. So not a BF specific area. They are a quiet place some with bottle warmers and microwaves to put food inside a child.

So BF women do not have more of a claim to them than anyone else.

But it’s not a female space if it’s a feeding room. Men and women both feed babies.

Again. Now listen.

The rooms are for women only. Please understand this.

I would have thought that men would feed their baby in public because, brownie points. Or perhaps those men who use the women's facilities feel emasculated if it's done in public?

A whole list of reasons why I feel it's perfectly ok to use a designated feeding room, provided for that exact purpose, same as a breastfeeding parent I imagine?

You can feed standing up though? I did when necessary....I imagine it’s even easier when bottle feeding.

Still not a reasonable reason for a male to inflict himself on women when they may be vulnerable.

What kind of man would sit in a breast feeding room to bottle feed his child, knowing that he was taking a space and privacy from a woman who needed to Bf or express?

You see, we all know exactly what kind of man. A selfish entitled one at best and a pervy one at worst.

Dear god.
You can call it a rhubarb room. It doesn’t change the fact that one of the main methods of baby feeding can only be done by mothers, and some of them may prefer privacy. So they need a private room. Bottle feeders of whatever sex have the rest of the planet available to them.
This really isn’t hard. Why are some people determined to make it so? What are their motives? Why do women have to be stripped of even these meagre privileges?

@placemats
The rooms are for women only. Please understand this.

Everyone I have seen has been a PARENTS Room.
Named such by the store. They are spaces for parents. Men & women.

@JacquesHammer sometimes seats aren't available elsewhere, or involves queuing and buying a coffee to sit in a cafe, or it was raining or cold so I didn't want to sit on a street bench or my car to feed my child.. . . A whole list of reasons why I feel it's perfectly ok to use a designated feeding room, provided for that exact purpose, same as a breastfeeding parent I imagine?

The room is for women to feed their babies. Breast or bottle.

Or are you a man?

The motives are reality. They are not BF rooms because the store has determined such. That's a fact. The store doesn't have to provide anything. They are doing it for their own purposes. Not even for the benefit of the customer really.

So if anyone wants a special BF room they should either campaign for it or stick their hand in their own pocket.

Feeding rooms are not women only. You may like them to be, but general feeding rooms are not women only.

As a pp stated, they have bottle warmers, some have microwaves, changing tables, it’s a place to feed and change your baby.

The JLs I have been in have a parents room with changing spaces and then 2 separate areas, one breastfeeding and one bottle feeding.
I wouldn't expect to find men in the breastfeeding section in this case but they can of course use the bottle feeding section to feed their babys and use the changing area.
If it is a feeding area then men can use it with their partner while breastfeeding or to bottle feed their baby.

They are not BF rooms because the store has determined such

And I’m sure you’d agree in stores where there are BF rooms, they should be safely a female space....

Sorry but I think YANBU. Men seeing breastfeeding and accepting it as a non-sexual, normal, necessary part of parenting is an important part of breastfeeding regaining the status it has beyond the UK. It is the normal way to feed a baby & I don't see why it should be hidden. There's basically nothing to see when feeding any way, your top cover almost everything and the baby covers the rest.

But the room the OP is talking about clearly has a curtained off section, which should only be for women.

@JacquesHammer I wouldn't care to be honest. It would depend on what rules to store set.
As Pp have said some women need their Male partners assistance due to disability. I'd say I'd side with them.