To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

[themimi]

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

It varies. As a general rule, he goes to bed quite early and I don’t. Sometimes, I spread out on the sofa, eating the good snacks and watching trashy TV and I love this time. Other times, I’ll read or bed or MN while he falls asleep while watching something on his iPad. We don’t chat a lot in bed, to be honest. We do try to have a bit of time before bed when we catch up but life gets busy some day. We are happy enough.

10 years together and sometimes we go to bed at the same time and sometimes we don’t, surely that’s the most usual scenario?

I wonder if it’s to do with that? Don’t have a TV in there, and phones only used as alarms, so if we are reading/watching something/online it’s finished before we go to bed.

We don't have a TV in our bedrooms either. We usually talk for a bit if we aren't too tired.

Yes we married 10 years and always go to bed at the same time brush our teeth at the same time etc I’ve never considered it before it’s quite sweet actually x

You're not alone OP.

I've been with my dh 20 years and we've never gone to bed at the same time. He's an early bird and I'm a night owl.

A pp asked you when sex happens. I can't answer for you but for me, sex doesn't only have to take place at night and it doesn't have to take place in a bed.

It's one of those things where it's perfectly normal to go at the same time, and perfectly normal not to. It's when one expects the other to wait up or retire early if they don't want to, I've seen one here a few times a man telling his wife she has to go up when he does and turns the telly off and scoots her up like a kid and would still if she stayed up watching tv without him

Sure we do. We frequently chat or read, just like in the programmes.

We often go to bed together but not always. Usually DP gets tired earlier than I do, if I'm not tired at all I'll stay downstairs and watch TV or go in the bath, or if I'm a bit tired I'll go up to bed with him and read/mindlessly scroll on my phone

DH and I rarely go to bed at the same time . I’m always in bed before him and quite honestly it works for us because it gives me a chance to fall asleep before he starts snoring like a warthog

We do and we lay in bed and chat etc

11 years together and we've always gone to bed at the same time.

My folks don't - my mum goes up to bed and my dad stays and watches Die Hard or whatever ITV2 is showing for the 87 millionth time.

We normally go to bed together.

Never! I'm a night owl and DH is an early bird so he goes up around ten and I'm usually a couple of hours later. I like to read for a bit in the quiet. Mind you, he gets up at 6 for work and I can lie in until 7.30 when the kids need to get ready for school, but we still rarely go up together even at weekends. Married 17 years and it's never been an issue.

Oh and we don't have a t.v. in our room either

In fact dh is up in bed fast asleep now and I'm pissing about on phone which would annoy him as he has to be up at out at 5am.

I also don't think people going to bed at same time is what's behind these long marriages, it'll be the rest of the marriage as like I say, I've been with mine 20 years and we've never gone together. My Mam has been married three times and did go at same time as her first two husbands and dies t with my step dad (who she's also been with 20 years now)

We always do!

DH was a boyfriend from my youth, and we've been back together for 12 years now. Bed together, always. When I had our bathroom re-done, had the shower head moved to the center, so we always shower together, too. We do just about everything together, hate going to work and having to leave home! We are just about as crazy about each other as we were when we were young!

Even if I wanted sex I still wouldn't go to bed early, I'd hop it the bed, ask if he fancies a bit of sexy time time and then come back downstairs 😂

DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue.

Going back to the OP, this is actually just a really ignorant way of thinking. You don't go to bed at the same time so no one else must do that...It's pretty close minded.

It has varied vastly over the years. Sometimes together, often not. Dh work has very varied hours; sometimes early starts, sometimes late finishes, sometimes no work at all. I've had patches of normal work hours, evening work hours. Sometimes no work at all. I enjoy the unpredictability of it!

Been together 32 years. Works fine so far!

We usually do - together 14 years, married for 5.

Married 15 years here and when DH is home we go to bed at the same time. We'll chat, check out news sites, I usually MN. We used to watch a lot of TV in bed but in the six months we've lived in new house we still haven't got around to turning the bedroom TV on yet.

Together for 29 years, married for 20, almost always go to bed at the same time :)

We've been together five years and it's a bit mixed. I go to bed early and get up early but he's the opposite.

When he doesn't feel like coming to bed he still comes upstairs to give me a cuddle and a kiss for 5 minutes. He might stay in bed with me 2 or 3 nights per week if he's tired when I'm going.

I find it hard to go to sleep if we go up at the same time. I tend to go up earlier, but if he's having an earlier night, I'll sometimes hold out until he's definitely asleep and not in a snoring phase. I like quiet time alone to unwind before sleep.

No tv, no phones no books. Chat, cuddle, sometimes sex, sleep.