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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
Love51 · 05/08/2019 16:02

watchingthyme The smell me bit? Tiny house with no landing and 2 breast fed children (baby and toddler). They knew if I was upstairs.
Sex hex? Gender neutral for cock block. Unwittingly stop us having sex.

NoSauce · 05/08/2019 16:03

Yep, same thing every night - tidy up, dog out for wee, lock up and then go to bed. Usually chat for a while or I’ll read or look at my phone if DH is tired.

Pinkout · 05/08/2019 16:03

DH and I have always gone to bed at the same time, it would be weird for us not to.

plantwhisperer · 05/08/2019 16:11

We don't, I'm usually in bed by midnight, he stays up working and comes to bed around 1/2ish.

Rarely we go to bed at the same time, usually to watch a movie/get early night.

LoafofSellotape · 05/08/2019 16:11

I'd say 80% of the time we do,we read and chat and have a cuddle.

Sometimes he needs to go up at 9 as he's shattered so I stay up a bit later as that's too early for me.

graziemille567 · 05/08/2019 16:12

We generally go to bed at the same time, sometimes have a chat in bed, sometimes just go straight to sleep. If he's watching football downstairs I have an early night as I bore quickly of him getting tense and angry at the tv, but most nights we are in bed at the same time.

Bloomburger · 05/08/2019 16:16

We do every night unless one of us goes out which is v v rate these days.

expatinspain · 05/08/2019 16:19

Generally me and DP do, but not every night religiously. Sometimes I want to go early and read and he's watching a movie or doing something else.

maddy68 · 05/08/2019 16:20

We always do

CookPassBabtridge · 05/08/2019 16:28

We did before kids.. we had to both get yp early for work. Since kids though I get up earlier so go to bed earlier. He works from home and starts work later. Used to love the bed chats and cuddles though!

ethelredonagoodday · 05/08/2019 16:29

Together 20 years, and nope we don't. I'm always about 30 mins after...

Squirrelblanket · 05/08/2019 16:30

We always do. We've been together for 15 years.

gamerchick · 05/08/2019 16:30

Nope, but I think it's weird to share a bedroom so.....

whatlouisesaid · 05/08/2019 16:34

I've been with my husband for 4 years and I've never not gone to bed at the same time as him! Even if one of us is unwell the other one will watch tv in the bedroom while they sleep x

Watchingthyme · 05/08/2019 16:34

@Love51
I see. Totally Got the wrong end of the stick there!
And never heard of sex hex!

someoneontheinterweb · 05/08/2019 16:35

It’s very unusual for us to go to bed at different times, and it’s usually only when I’m working shifts. We don’t always sleep at the same time (I might be reading, he might be on hand held console gaming) but we go to bed at the same time because it feels like the natural thing to do. Together 9 years so not in honeymoon phase.

Hester54 · 05/08/2019 16:35

29 years married, 99% of the time go up to bed together, The best time of the day

Aragog · 05/08/2019 16:38

Married 21 years, lived together 23 years, been together much longer - 29 years.

We generally go to bed around the same time. Always have done tbh. We get up around the same time too, so makes sense. We tend to both go up and read. Dh will turn the light off first and go to sleep, whereas I will read for longer. I will occasionally go to bed earlier, but as neither of us stay up watching TV etc late its not often.

DorisDances · 05/08/2019 16:38

We always go to bed at the same time - would feel odd not to!

lubeybooby · 05/08/2019 16:41

we mostly go to bed at the same time... probably at least 90% of the time. No problem if one or the other isn't quite ready yet though or needs an early night

Frankola · 05/08/2019 16:46

10 years in and we still do most nights. If one of us is out or wants to watch something etc we obviously don't, but most nights we like to go up to bed together. Plus, it's a good way to ensure a decent sex life lol

Whatisinaname1 · 05/08/2019 17:04

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. i dont think there's ever a 'never' though, is there?

Surely at some point, even just once a couple would have? Some do so frequently, others very rarely. Id be surprised if a couple had never been to bed together at the same time, even for a quickie?

KellyHall · 05/08/2019 17:14

We never go to bed at the same time since I was pregnant 3 years ago.

I now work part-time and I'm responsible for practically everything in our household which now also includes our child so I now go to bed earlier, he works full time and stays up smoking (outside) and watching tv, which we used to do together before dd.

SalemShadow · 05/08/2019 17:20

We do as most of the time we are going to have sex

happytobemrsg · 05/08/2019 17:22

I need more sleep than DH generally & he’s always up working so we don’t go to bed together often