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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
FabLaura · 05/08/2019 13:24

I'm 36, husband 41 and we've been together nearly 20 years (I'm sharing to show we're not in the honeymoon phrase anymore) we go to bed at the same time. If one goes upstairs without the other, we joke that we're being left behind. Thinking about it now, it's quite romantic and part of us now to chat over the day while locking up and cleaning teeth

ChampagneBuffet · 05/08/2019 13:25

We do, even if one us watched a film or reads a book. We always go up together

WindsorDuchess · 05/08/2019 13:28

I like to be in bed for 22.00 and asleep for 23.00. DH is a night owl and comes to bed around 2.00am. We both get up at 08.00am, i don't know how he functions on such little sleep

LifeofRye · 05/08/2019 13:28

Together 10 years and we go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. I've never thought about it before so I guess we just naturally match!

User12879923378 · 05/08/2019 13:29

We're normally in bed within half an hour of each other. I don't think it matters much though!

leghairdontcare · 05/08/2019 13:30

We always do. You know the saying:

The couple that goes to bed at the same time and stares at their phones together, stays together.

Jsmith99 · 05/08/2019 13:41

We never go to bed at the same time because our body clocks are completely different. I’m an owl, so I am invariably wide awake at midnight. DP is a lark, who is nodding off by 10.

YouJustDoYou · 05/08/2019 13:43

Almost 2 decades together. Bith always exhausted, always go to bed around 10pm together and out dead within a few minutes.

Whycantistaymotivated · 05/08/2019 13:44

Never, we use to but I would just fall asleep reading/watching etc the OH would just wake me when he was ready to go up to bed. So now I just go up when I start nodding lol

GlamGiraffe · 05/08/2019 13:47

Nope. DH usually engrossed in a full on action movie until a ridiculous hour or beavering away in his office until 3 am. I'm not waiting up for him. Unfortunately he come into the bedroom then turns in all the lights when he wants to go to bed🙄

Devaki · 05/08/2019 13:47

Occasionally we do but not usually.
An ex partner of mine used to insist we go to bed together. I found it really controlling.

bloodywhitecat · 05/08/2019 13:47

We do, and if one of us is really tired and the other isn't we still go to bed at the same time and the un-tired one watches TV for a while.

Nothingtowearatall · 05/08/2019 13:52

We do most of the time.

We both like going quite early. Also have a chat in bed.

scarbados · 05/08/2019 13:56

Almost 20 years together and almost every night we've gone to bed at the same time (or within about 20 minutes) except when I was still nursing and working night shifts.

AntonsMumsTeeth · 05/08/2019 13:57

When I was in an abusive relationship he expected me to go up to bed at the same time as him. (It was his house).

I also could only watch or listen to what programme or music he wanted to. If he was out I could just about watch something I wanted to but I was always scared of his return so could never fully relax when doing my own thing.

I could never share a bedtime with anyone ever again.

Willyoubuymeahouseofgold · 05/08/2019 13:58

God no ... no idea how this could even be done 🤣🤣🤣

PleaseGoogleIt · 05/08/2019 13:59

We generally do, because we both have to be up so early in a morning so need to be in bed by around 9.

Sometimes DH will stay up much later than me but it's rarer than it used to be.

Help24 · 05/08/2019 13:59

We do 14 yrs in, and 4 kids its the only chance we get to talk without being interrupted. Very rare for us not to

Hmmmbop · 05/08/2019 14:02

We do. We'll chat, watch something in bed or read. Sometimes one of us will get up after the other has fallen asleep if we aren't sleepy.

We often sleep in separate beds (6 month old) but still go up together, get ready together and chat etc before parting.

We have very little sex though!

Gillian1980 · 05/08/2019 14:05

We always go to bed together.

I like getting into bed and carrying on whatever conversation we were having downstairs. We have pretty similar body clocks so I suppose that’s why it works for us.

Pretty much every day for 9 years, except for illness etc.

HappyMondayKidz · 05/08/2019 14:07

Depends what shift DP is on. If he's home in time to have some food and chill out before my bedtime then he joins me, sometimes he doesn't get back until the early hours of the morning and so it's not possible.

Definitely prefer going to sleep together though!

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 05/08/2019 14:08

We do 🙋‍♀️

IAmOnlyHereToReadTheComments · 05/08/2019 14:18

Almost 10 years in, been together since we were 19, 2 kids, full time jobs and we always make the effort to go to bed together, ALWAYS!

Ellatreetop · 05/08/2019 14:20

Yep, we do. Been together 10years, married for four.

xiona75 · 05/08/2019 14:47

We don't. Married 16 years and two kids, during term time I get up at 6 so I can get everything ready for school etc, he usually gets up an hour later. Now we are in the holidays he is still getting up for work,so will crawl out of bed at 7:30, I still sometimes get out of bed at 6, but as there is nothing to get ready I sometimes have a lay in until 9 and get up once he has left. I am usually in bed by 10 latest,while he will watch tv (snooze) until midnight before coming up to bed. If we do happen to come to bed at the same time,then it is the best time to chat and put the world to rights,but I must admit I find it harder to go to sleep if he comes to bed at the same time as me! You are not alone op!