AIBU to make my teenagers go to bed at 10

[JasperTheFriendlyGhost]

Two of my children aren’t happy with the rules that i’ve set for the summer holidays. Me and DH have decided that DD15 and DS14 need to turn everything off and go to sleep at 10:30. They are mad because they say their friends all stay up later.

My DD is really good at self regulating and knows she can’t stay up all night because it will impact the next day for her and shes learnt herself that she’s in a bad mood all day if she doesn’t get at least 8 hours.

However my DS would stay on his computer all night if we didn’t stop him. So now we’ve decided that they both need to turn everything (TVs, phones, computer etc) off at 10:30.

I was talking about this with my DSis and she said i’m BU and they should be allowed to stay up later. She said i should just make DS turn his computer off at 10:30 but let them watch tv or play on their phones or read.

So AIBU to make my 15yo DD and 14yo DS go to bed at 10:30?

I stayed up pretty much all night during the summer holidays from around 12/13. By the time I was 15, my Mum stopped giving me a bedtime all together.

By that I mean even during school time.

Cherrypavlova I think you are making some huge assumptions/generalisations there. My DS is only 13 and yet earns more money a month doing his very specific type of work than most 16 yos. His work can mainly only be done in the evening or at weekends and is often late in the evening. His CV quite frankly is going to be better than most peoples.

He does have sports camp etc book throughout the holidays and also arrangements with friends but he is quite capable of knowing he has to be up early so needs to go to bed at a reasonable time, same when he has nothing booked in early. Obviously if he needs a bit of a shove/suggestion to go to bed then as a parent I will do that of course.

Damnitssevenam - that is quite amusing, I'm sorry. I don't think we've ever eaten breakfast together unless it's at a restaurant or on holiday. Doing the dishwasher can be at any time during the day surely. I guess family time all means different things to different people. If your teens enjoy it then nothing wrong with it I guess. I do imagine that sort of routine would be very unusual this day and age.

10:30 is pretty early for a 15 year old who doesn't have to get up for school, I have a 15 year old and he's usually up during the holidays when I'm going to bed, I just tell him not to stay up too late

Why is 10.30 early? What is there to be doing at that time of night when the rest of the household is asleep?
I send my just turned 14 year old to bed at around 10.00-10.30pm in the holidays, otherwise she can't get up at a reasonable time for days out with us or have much of the day left for seeing her friends etc.

Teenagers need much more than the 8 hours an adult needs- I find she needs around 10/11 hours a night to not be grumpy and moody.

Of course, if there is a reason to stay up later we allow it- eg. if we have guests around, she has a friend to sleep over or we are going out somewhere and back later.
On school nights when she has to get up at 6.30am she is in bed by around 9.30pm.

Besides, I find all she does is look at her phone for hours- far better off asleep!

10:30 is early when they're on holidays and they should be starting to have some control over their lives at this point but whatever your kid, control all you like

Fresta a lot of adults are up at 10.30pm not everyone is tucked up in bed at that time.

I would be sent to bed at 9pm every night and I used to lie awake till 2 or 3 am

We had a grandfather clock and it rang out every 15 minutes. I was always knackered.

When I left home at 16 I got so much more sleep as I used to naturally fall asleep at about 11.30pm

Everyone has different sleep cycles.

For DP he is in bed at 9pm but then is up at 5am

When the DC were younger they were not finished at their after school activities until 9pm a lot of nights. So by the time we were back and they had wound down they didn't really get to bed until 10.30pm

I think though that at 15 it should be up to the teen to regulate their own sleep. What better lesson to learn than knowing that if you stay up to midnight and then have to get up at 6am you are going to be shattered but if you are asleep by 11pm you are fine