AIBU to have a problem with a man being short?

[Whateveryoudoordontdo]

This sounds - and is - shallow. I know. But it really does bother me that the man I'm seeing is shorter than me. By about an inch. He's 5'5''. We met online, good chat, been seeing each other IRL for about 6 weeks. I wasn't that keen in the beginning, but he's kind, he likes me, he makes me laugh, sex is good and he accepts my weird living arrangement (sharing house with ex due to kids + finances). And I'm beginning to really like him, but his shortness puts me off! And when I talk to friends they tend to agree that height is a tricky one to compromise on...
So has anyone had similar (shallow) issues with their DP and got over it? Or am I just a really really bad person...

My husband is only 5’9 and, if I wear heels, I’m taller than him. He’d love to be taller.

I guarantee if I surveyed my female friends, everyone of them would say they wouldn’t go for a short guy if they were going for looks alone.

@bungaloid nobody hates you! And it is not about an absolute height for me, it's about their height relative to mine. I'm 5'6" so the same or taller is ok. Shorter than that is what I'm taking about being a potential issue. And I'm not saying it with pride, but with honesty. Thanks for sharing your point of view as a man.

I'd deffo go for short these days, less competition for a start! Loads of Spanish and Portuguese guys are short and fit AF. FWIW my DH is five ft 4 and he never had any trouble reeling in the laydees before we met

My gran used to say "They're all t'same height when they're lying in bed with you"

I didn’t think height bothered me until I almost dated someone last year who was 5”4, I’m 5”7. His height put me off unfortunately

Although thinking about it I do wonder if really I just wasn’t that into him.

He's my little sex thimble

That’s so creepy! 😂😂

Sorry - but where are these 5’ 3”/ 5’ 4” men coming from???

Lots of Mediterranean men are that sort of height.

Sorry-but where are these 5’ 3”/ 5’ 4” men coming from???

That’s fairly rude! There are men and women of all shapes and sizes.

Nothing wrong at all with a shorter man. I don't impose shallow limitations on myself. Far more interested in whether I 'click' with someone than an aspect they have absolutely no control over.

I just haven’t come across that many adult men smaller than me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@bungaloid - we don't all hate you for being short. I actually prefer short men. Much sexier. Being the same height for kissing, hugging, holding hands etc is much more comfortable.

DH is much taller than me and much as I love him, the physical side of things has never quite worked because it's so bloody uncomfortable. He's always yanking me onto his massive shoulder for a cuddle in bed, which gives me a crick in my neck. My previous boyfriend was 5'5 and we could fall asleep in each other's arms, because we fitted together so well.

Also, short men tend to stand up really straight to make the most of their height, so they have great posture which is also sexy.

He's my little sex thimble

Please say you’ve never said this out loud. 🤢

I'm surprised by how many women on here need a man to make them feel feminine it's actually quite disappointing as I think of MN as quite a feminist site.

I think it's silly to get too caught up over height, although that's easy for me to say as I'm under 5 foot tall.

Just imagine a thread from a man "AIBU to have a problem with a woman being fat", would you all agree that it's fine and just down to preference? I'm not sure how I feel either way but something about this thread doesn't sit right with me.

I would. I said in my first post on here that it's acceptable for both men and women to have essentials and absolute deal breakers when looking for a partner, they just have to own any consequences.

OP i don't think you are shallow at all. I am 5 ft 8, always wear heels (just prefer them) and have always had a rule about the man being taller. When i was young i did discount a couple of perfectly nice guys for their height. Not ashamed of it at all, that's just my preference. Equally, some nice guys discounted me whatever reason. Then i met my DH who is 6 ft 2 and have been happily married for nearly 20 years. So it may well be that if you let go of a nice short guy you will then meet a nice tall guy. No need to settle or justify oneself.

Having said that, now I am 40 and have met some really lovely shorter men in my life. If I were single now, I would consider dating such men and their height wouldn't faze me. So maybe our perceptions do change a bit as we grow older.

Far more interested in whether I 'click' with someone than an aspect they have absolutely no control over.

Sorry to pick on this one post but it's nearest - so many posters are saying things like the above and how this means they're not shallow ... but the reason you'd ''click'', or not, with someone is down to their personality. Which is something out of their control!

I'd say the vast majority of factors which make us attractive or not is out of our control, and the decision is made unconsciously and most of the time quite quickly. When we get down to trying to vocalise the reasons why we risk sounding heightist, ageist, sizeist, or just plain 'shallow', so we don't tend to discuss it. Unfortunately some people need to face it - we pretty much all do have preferences which are out of the other persons control.

Op, ignore rhe shouts of shallow, who cares. I couldn't shag a man shorter than me, I don't find it attractive at all.i don't want to be the big one. I don't care who thinks it's shallow, they can bite me.

And I have a Male employee who is about five foot two and even that I find disconcerting when talking to him face to face, I'm five eight and with heels and hair I'm knocking on six foot.

Bottom line is I could not become intimate with a man who is smaller than me. If that's shallow, then so be it. Colour me shallow

Just imagine a thread from a man "AIBU to have a problem with a woman being fat",

Don't be so ludicrous, the same thread is a man saying aibu to have a problem with a woman who is short.

The op did not post she has a problem with fat men. So it's just odd to compare her height issue to overweight. Seriously odd and weird.

As a joke, Ed Winchester. How it could be taken as anything other than a wonderful pun is beyond me...

I think the “wonderful pub” thing is subjective, in fairness.

I am 5'3". I know a man a couple of inches taller than me. I fancy him. He's actually the hottest man I know.

I have a thing for short men! I've never been with anyone over about 5ft9.

BUT only you can know if it's a deal breaker OP. We can't help what we find attractive on the outside but I do usually find that the personality soon completely overrides the physical presentation and in your case your DP sounds rather lovely.

I think it’s just what you find attractive, all my boyfriends (and husband) have been over 6’2”. I don’t find very muscly, fat or skinny men attractive either.

You either find him attractive or don’t!

You tall chasers are crazy. I'm 5'7" and I adore men this height. I ended up getting married to a 6'3" but I love men my height. I think the sex is really good and it's lovely to kiss on the same level. It's amazing. Tall is nice and everything but .....