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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who have never experienced being in family court

999 replies

SavanahXx · 02/08/2019 23:40

It really does my head in when people side with social services. They have an opinion that "they are just doing what's best for the child". These people that have the opinion mostly have never even had involvement with SS, therefore don't see the lies and manipulation of a situation that they use.

It's easy for them to say that a parent 'could pose a risk' but do you know how hard it is to prove you wouldn't?

I seen an utterly revolting article that really baffled me. Social workers manage to get away with this stuff daily. Yet its not reported as it should be. This child was removed, with a judges permission. Then placed back with the mother by another judge.
There is so much corruption in our society and it needs to change.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/13/social-worker-criticised-child-taken-away-mother-refused-give/amp/

OP posts:
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SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:26

@SavanahXx what were there concerns over then, if not your parenting?

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:27

It's funny that alot of people on here do not have a reasonable argument and instead resort to petty comments about someone's parenting. Or name calling 😂😂

The older generation 🤔 I hope it's just the way yous were brought up 😂😂 id be ashamed if my daughter ended up like half of you strange people.

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:29

How exactly have you come to conclusion that everyone commenting against you, the majority voting and commenting no less, are the “older generation”?

ashtrayheart · 06/08/2019 22:33

She's 20 - with a lot of growing up to do by the sounds of it Wink

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:35

230 people agree with you Savanah this lot can't cope with that Grin

TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:37

It's funny that alot of people on here do not have a reasonable argument and instead resort to petty comments about someone's parenting. Or name calling

Like you you mean? A 20 year old with an 8 month old baby who has already needed SS intervention. Come back in a few years when you have basic experience of life and being a parent.

Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:37

230 is nothing. There are thousands of posters on this website. And there has been over 100 posted.

She hasn’t raised awareness at all. She looks biased and a bit daft.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:38

@SemperIdem please go up the thread. It wasn't anything to do with my parenting. All the way through it, I had glowing reports. Hence why I got so offended when people resorted to calling me a shit mother... Someone even said I could possible hit my child 🤔 I doubt that very much.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:39

It was to do with your partner.....

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:40

@TwoPupsandaHamster I'm pretty sure I've probably been through a hell of a lot more than some people on here. That gives you life experience as it is. Also, I parented my siblings. If i didn't, then I'd of hated to see the outcome.

OP posts:
auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:41

This is so funny. I knew this would get a few backs up, but not to this extent. When I first started threads like this, I was lucky to have 2 supporting.

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:43

230 compared to 2 is massive. Success Grin

Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:44

It’s really not a success 😂

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/08/2019 22:45

This has been an incredibly frustrating thread to read. On the face of it, I thought it was a really interesting AIBU as I would have agreed in part with the OP's point.

I absolutely believe there are 'bad eggs' within our SS systems. Haven't experienced it (bad treatment from SS) personally but have seen it close by. I do however believe this is true within every system that is supposed to protect and care for us be it SS, medical or legal.

Point in case being that as a teenager, a psychiatrist I had butted heads with (personality clash) illegally signed section papers for me on the basis of his own lie and got a second signature on the papers by lying to a fellow doctor. I had a solicitor up in the hospital with me getting these papers rubbished due to their illegality.

I know that people in the professions we are asked to put the greatest faith in do lie, for whatever reason. I've also seen people who do these things be pushed sideways rather than out (firing people is not as easy as you may believe, sometimes it is less headache to move them than deal with it- wrong but true).

I'd be inclined to say that I agreed with the sentiment and the OP calling for accountability where lies are clearly unmasked that you simply cannot judge each person working for this system in the same way. Overall they do a wonderful job on such limited resources and have to act in a role where they rarely get the thanks and praise they deserve.

That's why I really had the utmost sympathy for both the OP and auntethel, but its descended into really juvenile name-calling and mud-slinging. There's no effort from either to actually engage in viewing it from any other viewpoint than their own. All it's become is ridicule if someone doesn't agree, a mini crusade to be a rebel and join against anyone asking genuine questions or offering opinions and I can't help but wonder that if this is the attitude you presented to social workers etc that you got their backs up.

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:45

It really is Grin

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:47

@auntethel people are going to be gobsmacked when they actually see first hand, whether it be themselves or a close family member in the position.
Maybe then they will wish they had opened their minds a little all that time ago.

Leave them to have a bitch. They are clearly unreasonable people and think they know everything and what they say goes.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:48

Bananas That’s an excellent post.

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:49

Yes Bananas parents do get authorities backs up when fighting tooth and nail for their children. They really don't like it.

ashtrayheart · 06/08/2019 22:49

Agreed @Bananas

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:51

savanah how are you feeling now?

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:51

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil not one of us have said all social workers are the same?
We are literally talking about the corrupt ones. Yet because of that. It's resorted to, we are bad parents :S

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ashtrayheart · 06/08/2019 22:52

I've had to fight for my eldest, from camhs to SS to funding for a one to one so she could go to college - but you're only interested in people who have had to fight and agree with your diatribe.

SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:52

Ah - you’re one of those fantastic mother’s who won’t leave their partner who is deemed to be a risk. Gotcha.

I’ve seen a lot of those cases, due to a previous line of work (not SS). So common. So very sad.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:53

@auntethel my cold has improved, just stuck with a horrible cough on that aspect. But now I'm overly annoyed. It's sad to see that people can be so narrow minded and ignorant to the fact of what some social workers can be like, and automatically have to resort to "youre a bad parent" honestly. My daughter will never have them views. It's horrible. And so bloody offensive.

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TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:54

Aunt Ethel this thread has generated 812 posts. Get ready to orgasm! 😱 The majority disagree with you and OP but I guess that won't matter to you. As long as you can get the words 'lies' and 'corruption' linked to CPS out there who cares right?

Seriously you don't fool anyone. You didn't have the parenting skills to care for, and advocate for your DS. Most parents do. Those who can't will always try to blame everyone else. Its easier than admitting their failures. It doesn't take a genius to work that out.

Honestly you would be better off putting it all behind you and getting on with your life. You put your DS into care. SS provided everything they could, within their resources, at great expense to the British taxpayer. Your son was returned to you. Your dd went to uni. Think yourself one of the lucky families.

You have no gripe. You are making yourself look a fool!