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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who have never experienced being in family court

999 replies

SavanahXx · 02/08/2019 23:40

It really does my head in when people side with social services. They have an opinion that "they are just doing what's best for the child". These people that have the opinion mostly have never even had involvement with SS, therefore don't see the lies and manipulation of a situation that they use.

It's easy for them to say that a parent 'could pose a risk' but do you know how hard it is to prove you wouldn't?

I seen an utterly revolting article that really baffled me. Social workers manage to get away with this stuff daily. Yet its not reported as it should be. This child was removed, with a judges permission. Then placed back with the mother by another judge.
There is so much corruption in our society and it needs to change.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/13/social-worker-criticised-child-taken-away-mother-refused-give/amp/

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Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 21:59

Excellent post Spero

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:00

@Nicknacky it's happened to one to many parents.. hence why it's not about my specific experience. It's for all them parents out there that have been through the lies and corruption:). It's not about me at all.

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Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:01

There is no fucking corruption.

TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:02

@TwoPupsandaHampster you are actually a terrible human. And I think you'll make a shit role model too. Praying for them kiddies of yours. Hopefully they won't turn out to be as shallow and malicious as you. SS lie. ALOT. And judged side with SS and CAFCASS alot of the time. So as long as everyone's against you. Because every time they get a statement. They want ones that sound like theirs. (Everyone of the statements in my case were actually word for word the same.) Please. Disbelieve people if you wish. But I hope you or your DC never end up in a situation like this. Then having people say you failed as a parent. It's disgusting, especially when you've done nothing wrong.
Until you see it with your own eyes, it sounds unbelievable. But please. Have an open mind

It's way past your bedtime missy. How old is your dd? 8 months? Come back and let us know how you're getting on when the dd you spend all your money on is 18 years.

Good parenting is providing your child's basic needs and a bit extra. No parent, other than those whose children have ended up in the care system, feel the needs to over-parent. No adequate parent feels they have something to prove. On that note I wish you all the best in your crusade. You won't get anywhere.... But good luck anyway 🍀 BTW don't belive every sob story you read on the Internet. Figure it out for yourself 😉

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:02

@spero think you'll find i won my case. So my guidance would be great. I also caught them out on their lies and PROVED IT. Win win

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SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:05

@SavanahXx there is a stigma around SS involvement, that’s true and I don’t agree with that. SS involvement should be destigmatised so parents who feel they are struggling in some way can reach out for the support available without fear. Much like mental health stigma.

However to have your child removed from your care by SS will always indicate poor parenting...because it is true. Not a lack of love necessarily but a lack of ability to cater to the child’s specific needs.

A friend of mine, her sister is a foster carer for babies removed at birth. In all the circumstances she has encountered over the years, there has only been a tiny amount where the parents truly didn’t give a shit. Otherwise, the parents absolutely did love their (previously removed from their care) children but were also totally incapable of meeting their needs. Which is how they ended up in position where future children were being removed from their care at birth. Neglect is not just a lack of love.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:06

@TwoPUpsandaHamster i had 2 MMC before I had DD so I know how precious she is. She deserves all the over parenting in the world. And so will my future children. Children are precious. And again. I never lost my child. So it's nothing to do with losing her to the system etc. Its because once i lost my babies. I knew how much i wanted a baby. And I was so lucky to have DD.

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TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:07

@TwoPupsandaHamster
Honestly, you’re wasting your time trying to reason with the op and her sock puppet

I know! I wish they would stop tagging me.... How is this thread still running? 🤔

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:09

So say a parent has a badly disable child. Or a child with extremely high additional needs. And SS thinks they would be better off somewhere else with people with expertise in that field. And they take them their. Is that parent a poor parent? Have they failed because their child was born differently?

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TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:12

Children are precious

They sure are. All children deserve "good enough" parenting and for their parents to advocate on their behalf. Sadly lots of children have never experienced these things. Thank God for Child Protection Services is all I can say.

SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:14

@SavanahXx

That would depend entirely on the reasons behind that conclusion being reached.

A friend has a profoundly disabled child, they will never walk, talk or eat solid food. They are also blind and suffer from severe fits regularly. That friend also has two younger children, all are close in age.

Her custody of her child with profound disabilities has never been in dispute.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:15

Children deserve more than "good enough parenting" i hope that wasn't serious 🤔

They deserve the best of the best.

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auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:15

Hello again spero and just like a few years ago, you have your followers. The problem for you and any sw's on here is that you can't control us, like when we're in the grip of the family courts can you? Must be so frustrating. Well, the tide's turning isn't it? As you can see by this thread, more are "coming out". There is only one thing left for victims really and that's reveal on the Internet. There's nowhere else to go. As Bob Geldof said May God forgive them because I won't.

Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:16

And many many children doesn’t get “best of the best”. They don’t even get “good enough”. And that’s where SS come in.

SemperIdem · 06/08/2019 22:16

@SavanahXx

Re “have they failed because their child was born differently”

This is going back to not all neglect is lack of love - with a much loved disabled child it could very easily be that the parents cannot adequately meet that child’s needs. Especially if they refuse SS support.

TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:17

So say a parent has a badly disable child. Or a child with extremely high additional needs. And SS thinks they would be better off somewhere else with people with expertise in that field. And they take them their. Is that parent a poor parent? Have they failed because their child was born differently

I, for one, have no idea what you're getting at. Most parents are able to care for their children until they die (the parent or the child). What would make SS move a child from their parents do you think?

Look out Ethel will be here soon to pick you up on your spelling 😉

auntethel · 06/08/2019 22:18

How is this thread still running So disappointing for you isn't it. Victims are having their say and we won't be gagged. Damn those parents!

TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:19

Children deserve more than "good enough parenting" i hope that wasn't serious

All that is required from SS is that parenting is "good enough". Do you have a problem with that?

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:19

@SemperIdem all's I know is that some social workers lie. Blatantly. About stupid things at that. I literally got proof that they lied. They also intentionally lied because the things they lied about were stuff in my medical records. And also things that relate to the council. All records they can easily get. And they have to get medical records during proceedings too. So they had the proof there that they lied. But still tried to. But i was straight onto it. Proved they lied. And the judge really wasn't happy with them 😂😂 I had a good judge. And I'm glad.

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Nicknacky · 06/08/2019 22:20

ethel The only victims are the children who have no voice and need others to speak for them. They are the victims. Not you.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:21

@TwoPupsandaHamster yeah I kinda do.

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ReanimatedSGB · 06/08/2019 22:21

There are certainly problems with incompetent social workers, and some of the people who are drawn to that kind of work are petty, officious bullies, unfortunately.
But given the self-pitying, self-contradicting, frankly unhinged rantings of the OP, I'm not really surprised that there is concern over her parenting capabilities.

SavanahXx · 06/08/2019 22:23

@ReanimatedSGB THERE WAS NEVER ANY CONCERNS OVER MY PARENTING

Oh lord, there are alot of ignorant people on here.

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ashtrayheart · 06/08/2019 22:23

This shows your ignorance - SS would avoid trying to remove a child with very high needs unless absolutely necessary as it would be very expensive for them!

I had to fight for my eldest dd to go into care at 14 for her own safety - she was later sectioned but classed as a looked after child until she was 18. But I can't fault the social workers who did their very best for her and were dedicated to their jobs.

You are only interested in people who have negative stories and they tend to be the most vocal.

TwoPupsandaHamster · 06/08/2019 22:24

So disappointing for you isn't it. Victims are having their say and we won't be gagged. Damn those parents

Shame you can't answer the questions put to you. You may be given some consideration if you could. Until then keep avoiding the important points and keep accusing those that that know about Child Protection of being underhanded and corrupt. You are doing yourself no favours.

BTW your sidekick keeps making spelling mistakes. Are you going to jump on her?