People who have never experienced being in family court

[SavanahXx]

It really does my head in when people side with social services. They have an opinion that "they are just doing what's best for the child". These people that have the opinion mostly have never even had involvement with SS, therefore don't see the lies and manipulation of a situation that they use.

It's easy for them to say that a parent 'could pose a risk' but do you know how hard it is to prove you wouldn't?

I seen an utterly revolting article that really baffled me. Social workers manage to get away with this stuff daily. Yet its not reported as it should be. This child was removed, with a judges permission. Then placed back with the mother by another judge.
There is so much corruption in our society and it needs to change.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/13/social-worker-criticised-child-taken-away-mother-refused-give/amp/

@TacoLover that comment is that pathetic I'm not even going to bother to reply to that 😂😂😂

jellycats but what about OP's baby being deprived of breastmilk and mum for the day, when less than one day old?
I’m not going to pretend that’s ok, of course you want babies to be with their mum - where at all possible children are better with their birth family. But if mum won’t stop her partner having access to the child, and there are significant safety concerns about the partner being investigated then yes, it’s likely the child will be removed with all that that means for baby and mum.

I can’t count the number of times, when faced with a choice between partner and baby, the mum chooses the partner knowing full well it’ll mean being separated from her child. Again, I don’t know the OPs whole story, so I’m not commenting on her situation or choices - children being taken into care is the worst possible outcome for all concerned but it’s necessary at times.

but what about OP's baby being deprived of breastmilk and mum for the day, when less than one day old?

That is bad. But surely better than delaying the investigation and court proceedings even longer and drawing it out more for the OP? And yes the baby was 'deprived' of breastmilk and it took a week to get the latch back to normal, and yes breastmilk is better than formula for babies, but it's a tad dramatic to say the baby was deprived. It's not like they starved the baby; formula isn't poison(although some 'perfect' mums will say it is) and the baby wasn't away from their mother for more than a couple of hours. Not ideal but not terrible.

@auntethel you honestly amaze me. And it's clear that you love your children. The 'bitter' and 'in denial' pp's have spoken about would respect the foster carers etc. That's how you know you're amazing 😊 if I can already see it without knowing you. It's safe to say your children definitely know it.

I hope you one day overcome the PTSD. No parent should be put through that. And the children shouldn't suffer either 💔 handholds and flowers to you all

Lovely OP. I'm apparently pathetic for asking how exactly I'm supposed to pay my rent and bills if I'm not allowed another job while being a foster carer and I have to spend ALL my money on the foster child. I thought that was a valid question. Either I'm wrong or you can't give a valid answer.

@jellycatspyjamas can I just clear up. I adhered to all the agreements and my child wasn't removed from me. At all. I have never spent a single night away from her.

jellycats why did OP have to go to court 10 hours after giving birth. I genuinely couldn't have done that. Is this a common occurrence do you know?

@auntethel you honestly amaze me. And it's clear that you love your children. The 'bitter' and 'in denial' pp's have spoken about would respect the foster carers etc. That's how you know you're amazing 😊 if I can already see it without knowing you. It's safe to say your children definitely know it.

Funny how Ethel has also said that you're wrong about foster carers and that she respects them too

@TacoLover I was referring to your petty "you're one of those mum's" comment.

Paying bills benefits the child. It's not really for you is it? They'd be stuffed without a roof over their head or electric. Heating etc. Even the internet benefits them. What benefit do they get from a new handbag for yourself? Or the latest car. Or garden furniture that they may never use? I'd rather take them out 👌

But when I gave birth. I was in the hospital. There are olive there. Its a controlled environment. I don't see why he wasn't able to go.

I get why you feel that way, but hospitals are also places where women and babies are incredibly vulnerable. If you remember Jimmy Saville carries out most of his abuse in hospital environments in sight and sound of hospital staff - if someone wants to abuse, they’ll find a way. Now, I’m not putting your partner in the same bracket as JS, I’m just explaining that we can’t assume hospitals are always protective environments. I’ve seen women being abused by their partner hours after giving birth while on the maternity ward.

I don’t know if there was another way to deal with your situation and I can imagine having your own past dragged back up again would make the whole thing feel worse. I can think of times when past vulnerability is relevant in assessing current risk, but the person doing the assessment should have clearly explained to you why she thought it mattered in your case specifically.

@TacoLover that I her opinion 😂😂 I was asking the point that she clearly isn't the 'in denial' parent that the previous posters was saying all parents are when their children are removed. You sound pettier and pettier 😂😂

Taco it's not just the breastmilk though is it? It's a newborn with no contact with mum for the morning or afternoon. It's not dramatic to say that is deprivation.

@jellycatspyjamas would you believe she told me nothing? I didn't know until her final evidence. It was very bizarre.

Is and making

Apologies for my many mistakes. Im currently full of a cold and tired 🙄

@jellycats why did OP have to go to court 10 hours after giving birth. I genuinely couldn't have done that. Is this a common occurrence do you know

I don’t know, the English child protection system is quite different to Scotland which is where I work. That wouldn’t happen here, there would have been a pre-birth plan in place, I don’t know of any mum here being brought to court within hours of giving birth.

@jellycatspyjamas also my social worker who did the assessment apologised on behalf of the first one. She said he shouldn't of been kept from the birth. But an apology doesn't really give it back to us -.- I had 2 MMC before DD so as you can imagine, it was a huge deal to give birth to her and for us not to do it as a family.

Anyone know why foster carers would be told by SW that there is no sen and can play outside unsupervised, when dc does have sen and specific advice from psych not to play out unsupervised?

Anyone know why after psychiatrist said DS needs to slowly come off meds because they were making him ill, SW then told carers to double the dose? Still have the paperwork to prove it.

@jellycatspyjamas would you believe she told me nothing? I didn't know until her final evidence. It was very bizarre.

That’s the part I find bizarre in both yours and others stories here - every report I write is shared with the families (including children depending on age) before any meeting or hearing. I arrange time to read it through with them, explain what I’m saying and why and check that I’ve got the facts right. I don’t want there to be any surprises in that meeting and I want to know any points of disagreement beforehand so that I know what’s coming too.

For me that’s a basic competence for social workers and would have ironed out so many of the difficulties noted here. I can honestly say I’ve never written a report about someone that they haven’t had the chance to read before it’s submitted.

Anyone know why NSPCC could do nothing when I provided documented evidence that DS was placed at risk by SW?

I used to be a foster carer- I gave it up as I couldn’t deal with the incompetence and lies from various local agencies. Not just children’s services. In fact, just after I quit, our local authority was rated inadequate by

By the end, I insisted that all contact was via email

I wasn’t allowed a job while fostering, I couldn’t have held one down anyway as I was always in a meeting, or fishing young people out of police stations at 3am. If you don’t pay foster carers a decent wage, how can they pay their bills? Fostering just becomes the preserve of the wealthy

We had several teenagers over the years - most of which had been failed by children’s services. We had young person come to us at 16 who had been on the child protection register since they were 18 months old and had ‘slipped through the net’ - for 14 years! They were only taken into care because their mother went to prison for dealing heroin. Their records were heartbreaking.

We had to somehow attempt to pick up these broken young people and put them back together - all of which had a huge distrust of children’s services/police/young offenders/etc as they been let down so bloody badly

What finished me off was when one of our YP’s social worker made a mistake. A simple mistake that could have been easily rectified - instead she lied and my YP ended up in a Young Offenders Institution for 3 months. When I complained, she lied a bit more - resulting in my whole family being investigated

Social Workers are massively underpaid and overworked. Their caseloads are dangerous quite frankly but there’s no excuse for outright, barefaced lying

rated inadequate by

Should have said rated inadequate by Ofsted.

I’m also surprised that folk have found inaccuracies in reports submitted about them and haven’t formally complained. If someone did that to me I’d have complained to hell and back - especially if it looked like someone had cut and pasted from another families file. A social worker was recently struck off for doing that, it’s not ok but without formal complaint it never gets addressed.

Off to bed now Savanah. Thanks again for this thread and hope your cold gets better soon. x

Social workers are far too thinly stretched with genuine cases to spend their time fabricating ways to separate children from their parents. So thinly stretched in fact, that tragedies can and do happen.

If ever there was a thankless, soul destroying job, it must be being a social worker. Thankfully there are people who work tirelessly to try and keep the most vulnerable safe regardless of how thankless their job is.