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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What time does your teenager have to be home for?

142 replies

Sparklyspoon · 02/08/2019 22:47

My DS is 14, he has to come in for tea at 5:30 then he's allowed out again till about 7:30 since it's summer, during term time he comes in for tea then stays in, he's sometimes allowed out later on weekends though. Is this a reasonable time? He seems to think it's far too early

OP posts:
Jimdandy · 02/08/2019 22:48

Yes that’s very early. I’d say 9.30

Pipandmum · 02/08/2019 22:52

At 14 I think 10. He’s 15 now and 1am but I ask him to get in touch about 11 tell me where he is and what he’s doing. Right now he’s camping at a music festival with some mates.

AppleKatie · 02/08/2019 22:52

Depends where he’s going.

If it’s just ‘out’ I wouldn’t allow any later. Tbh I wouldn’t be keen on generic random ‘out’ very much at all.

To a specific friends, or to scouts or swimming or playing football on a proper pitch or something then that’s different.

Bookworm4 · 02/08/2019 22:53

Very early, my DD14 is 8.30 during school, 10 in holidays. 7.30 is when most primary kids are still out playing. Poor boy must get embarrassed.

Notcontent · 02/08/2019 22:53

Surely it depends on what he is doing?

My dd is 13, so younger, but to me there is a big difference between being out in the evening to do an extracurricular activity or sport, or going to a friend’s house or seeing a movie, etc - as opposed to just hanging out in a park or something. In the latter case, I definitely think that 7.30 is reasonable.

Pipandmum · 02/08/2019 22:53

School nights he’d generally not go out til Friday (he has sport commitments three nights anyway).

Moondancer73 · 02/08/2019 22:54

7.30 at 14? That's exceptionally early. If he hasn't been teased, or moaned, I'm amazed. I'd say 9 or 9.30 is more reasonable at that age.

SavageBeauty73 · 02/08/2019 22:54

My 14 year olds (twins) have to be back by 9.30pm (they are very good at ringing in and texting).

Beldon · 02/08/2019 22:54

That’s very early for that age. During summer holidays I’d say between 9-10.

HelenEllen · 02/08/2019 22:55

My teenagers don’t really go ‘out’ unless they’re meeting someone or doing something in particular. As long as they tell me where they’re going and who they’re with then I don’t have a time they need to be home by.

HeadintheiClouds · 02/08/2019 22:55

Totally dependent on where they are and how they plan to get home.
Your 15 year old is allowed to float around til 1am, PipandMum?
Why?!

HelenEllen · 02/08/2019 22:56

(I.e. they’re not the sort who hang around in a park, and never have been)

Bookworm4 · 02/08/2019 22:57

1am is way too late, is that out in the street or at a friends? Nowhere is open then and makes me worry they’d be up to something

Notcontent · 02/08/2019 22:57

Crossed posts with AppleKatie!!

I have to say I am really surprised some 14 year olds are allowed to just “be out” until 10 pm! I must live on a different planet...

Original poster
Sparklyspoon · 02/08/2019 22:57

He usually hanging around the streets and parks so that's mainly why he's in so early

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 02/08/2019 22:59

@notcontent
I allow 10pm in summer, we live in a quiet small town; no fast food, cinemas etc or anything, they either go to friends or go for walks, the park.

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/08/2019 22:59

No curfew since she was 16 so long as I knew where she was and who with.

AppleKatie · 02/08/2019 23:00

Yeah I agree op. Hanging around on the streets is not great. Would he be open to joining a more structured activity?

Evergreeny · 02/08/2019 23:00

My kids aren’t the sort who hang around in parks and on streets (which I’m very glad about).

If they’re out of the house, it will be to go to a friend’s house, to meet a friend to go for a run, to go swimming etc.

As long as they tell me beforehand, and I know what their plans are, they don’t have a curfew.

I certainly wouldn’t be letting them hang around the streets until 10pm though.

stucknoue · 02/08/2019 23:03

Wait until they hit 17/18 you have no say ... teach them the skills to keep them safe rather than imposing really early curfews. I hate it when Dd2 is out without her boyfriend, but I have to trust her (she's out now)

Threeminis · 02/08/2019 23:03

My 12 year old has to be in at 9 during the holidays.
My 7 year old was out cycling around the estate till 7:30 today.

You need to cut your dc some slack op

OhMyDarling · 02/08/2019 23:03

14 dd doesn’t have a curfew as I don’t let her out like so many of you seem to... she has extracurricular activities every night in the wk and a full day at the wkend. I collect her from the activities every day.
There is no way in hell I’d let her be ‘out’ at any time unless at a friends house or at one of her activities.

1am for a 15 yr old? Whaaaaaaaaatttt?!!!!
Mainly hanging around the streets and parks? Oh my lord.
Nope, nope and another nope.

Chimpd0g · 02/08/2019 23:05

7.30 seems early for that age when it's light outside and it's the holidays.

SallyWD · 02/08/2019 23:07

It seems very early. My 8 year old DD will go out until later than 7.30 at weekends. At 14 I was allowed out until about ten. By 15 it jumped to 11.30 at weekends.

Evergreeny · 02/08/2019 23:07

There is no way in hell I’d let her be ‘out’ at any time unless at a friends house or at one of her activities

I agree. Some of the posters on here seem to be living in a different world to me!

My kids don’t hang around outside doing nothing. They’ve never shown any interest in doing so, and wouldn’t have been allowed to even if they had.