What time does your teenager have to be home for?

[Sparklyspoon]

My DS is 14, he has to come in for tea at 5:30 then he's allowed out again till about 7:30 since it's summer, during term time he comes in for tea then stays in, he's sometimes allowed out later on weekends though. Is this a reasonable time? He seems to think it's far too early

To add at 16 I was living away at college and the curfew there was 11pm. If you had a signed permission slip then there was no curfew but everyone was allowed out until 11pm even without one

I'm a youth worker and would say that most 14 year olds I know are out til 10pm.
The embarrassment of having to be in earlier must be tough on your child and will affect his ability to keep friends as they get older.
And I find it odd that people on here are shocked that young people are out late just hanging about. It's so important for them to learn their limitations, set their own fun, look after each other, develop their sense of independence and responsibility.
Of course some young people will make mistakes but that's your job as a parent to help them navigate that and help them learn.

sleepersloth I think your sentiment is shocking but perhaps youth workers deal with children who don't have the support of loving families. I know mine have never come across a youth worker.

When do youth workers expect teenagers to do their home work. The sort of homework set by top of the league table schools where most DC expect to go to Russell Group Uni's.

DS would have had: music lesson one night, sports practice two nights, matches every Saturday morning.

DD drama twice with a school production and separate club, voice and instrument lessons and usually at least one choir practice.

Both got all A and A at GCSE and 44 IB points and 3AA'Levels. Both are Oxbridge.

Pray how does a youth worker expect young people to achieve if they are hanging out on the streets and in parks?

Do you not understand that parenting is about love, security, expectations and boundaries.

No wonder we have a gang and knife culture crisis if your view is preached by those working with young people.

Terrifying.

Oh, and none of my dc's friends hung out on the streets until 10pm. Their parents, without exception, would not have countenanced it.

That seems quite early. I remember being out until about half 9/10 o’clock when I was 13 - until it got dark basically.

My 12 year old is allowed to play out with his friends on their bikes in the summer months until 9pm as it's still light. I love the fact we live in an area where children still 'play out'. He has great social skills and lots of friends. Won't have him out after dark in winter though.

Ohtheroses, calm down! I was talking specifically about the school holidays.
As a youth worker I am in youth clubs with young people offering structured activities and informal education. I obviously love when young people are part sports, hobbies, interests.
I was speaking specifically about why people were appalled that young people would be out 'hanging about' ever until 10pm. Not every night.

Well my dc never hung about the streets and in parks even in the school holidays. And neither did DH and I. I don't see how that is remotely character building.

In the holidays mine were at sports camps, drama courses, their grandparents', or on holiday.

At 14(over 20 years ago) I was allowed out to about 10. On one memorable occasion I was allowed out to 1am (at a music festival). 730pm sounds ridiculously young to me

I've just asked DS(15) to get off his computer and go to bed. It's 10:30 pm and he has. There's no way I would like him hanging around in the park in the dark - not that he shows any inclination to. I don't mind him being out of the house during the day with his mates (which he does) but his group of friends all tend to go home for tea by 6pm which is fine with me.
I can't see any attraction of hanging around in the dark when they can just as well hang around during the day.

It's not dark until about 10. There's loads of benefit to being outside spending time in the park, it's a great way to spend your time, regardless of whether you're an adult or a child! Grease air, exercise, social interaction, beats sitting on an Xbox!

Fresh air

ohtheroses why on earth would we need to know your DC's IB points or the fact that they are both at Oxbridge?!! Stealth boast?

sleepersloth and floppybit Express excellent points: there needs to be balance. My DS (almost 15) has sport training, music tuition and scouts BUT also has time to be out on his mountain bike with friends at the park, or, God forbid, playing football at 9pm of a summer's evening.

He is predicted all As in his National 5s (GCSE equivalent in Scotland- we don't have A*) - he is happy and adjusted, not smothered!

DS(15) has been out for most of the day - noon until 6 pm, cycling with his mates and generally mooching about. I reckon he got plenty of fresh air - don't see the need for him to hang about until long after dark and nor does he. On occasion, he's been to the cinema in the evening but I've picked him up afterwards - again, because I can and he appreciated it. Most of my friends with DC, the same age feel exactly the same and we don't consider ourselves that strict. What's wrong with fresh air during the day as opposed to twilight/night - it's the school holidays and there won't many 15 yr olds holding down a job which restricts their socialising hours to the evening.

In the holidays mine were at sports camps, drama courses

DS would have had: music lesson one night, sports practice two nights, matches every Saturday morning.

DD drama twice with a school production and separate club, voice and instrument lessons and usually at least one choir practice.

And yet you also rather pompously stated "youth workers deal with children who don't have the support of loving families. I know mine have never come across a youth worker."

I'm intrigued to know how your kids could do all that without ever being within the orbit of a youth worker!!

It seems a bit early. I'd suggest 10 or 11