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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family going on holiday minus me

149 replies

Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 02/08/2019 20:53

So DD asked me why we didn’t go on the family holiday with nana grandpa and the rest of the crew, I quizzed her then she said her cousin had posted pics on her Snapchat of her abroad in turkey with the rest of her cousins and aunts etc.

And of course me and my kids were not in any of them.

I reassured my daughter to spare her the feelings but I don’t understand why I was not invited.

I messaged one of my sisters to ask if she wanted to have a meal out and watch lion king with her daughter and she said she was busy this week ( probably the duration of her holiday) I asked my other sister who was also busy 😾.

And it can’t be the fact that I have a baby because my youngest has a 2 month year old baby and has gone.

AIBU to feel hate towards them and extreme jealousy, should I confront them?

OP posts:
Asdfghjklll · 02/08/2019 20:55

That is weird. Yes I would ask why you were not included.

Original poster
Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 02/08/2019 20:56

@Asdfghjklll yes but how? I’m not very good at these situations

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 02/08/2019 20:56

That is so strange, i would have to ask them directly, couldnt ignore it.

Ginger1982 · 02/08/2019 20:57

Just ask. Do you have a poor relationship with your parents?

combatbarbie · 02/08/2019 20:59

Is there a family fued? Finance issues? Do you live away from the majority?

If you are usually a normal loving family then your just going to have to bite the bullet and call your parents.... Don't message as then they have time to think.

Id be heartbroken though.

loubielou31 · 02/08/2019 20:59

I think you need to phone not text, the dialling tone will tell you where they are. And ask directly, I think it's okay to tell them that you feel very upset and left out.

lyralalala · 02/08/2019 21:00

I'd have to just ask why you and yours weren't invited, and why it was a secret.

That's so rude. And stupid if the kids are old enough for social media/to talk to each other.

Tohaveandtohold · 02/08/2019 21:00

Just ask directly. It’s so weird that not only were you not invited, they’re also hiding it.

Pipandmum · 02/08/2019 21:00

Well tell them the truth. Say your daughter saw the photos in social media and is asking these questions so what do they suggest you tell her?
And is it your parents? Why don’t you ask them directly? If you don’t feel comfortable doing so then does that mean you don’t have a good relationship with them?

S1naidSucks · 02/08/2019 21:02

Are you struggling, financially? Is it possible they didn’t want you to feel left out, so foolishly thought they could keep it secret?

I don’t agree with what they’ve done, but I’m trying to work out why the hell they’d be so cruel.

mussolini9 · 02/08/2019 21:04

AIBU to feel hate towards them and extreme jealousy,

Not at all. It's a biological imperative for humans not to wish to be excluded, & from your OP, they have coldly conspired to exclude you - & lied about it.

should I confront them?
No. It won't end well.
But you can challenge them, by calmly stating that you feel hurt to be excluded, & disappointed that they lied to you, & cross that your DD had to find out via snapchat.

But then be prepared to walk away, (I mean from that statement, that occasion, not out of their lives though I imagine that might feel tempting right now) - as they will already have thought of comebacks as to why YOU should now be shut down for having any feelings that their underhand & cruel behaviour has caused.

I hope you & your DC can arrange a lovely treat just for your little family, or maybe with some NICE friends.

Groovee · 02/08/2019 21:09

I need to ask.

newmomof1 · 02/08/2019 21:13

I think you need to ask for your DDs sake.

If you don't want to ask them outright, say "DD has seen that you're all on holiday and asked why we haven't come too. Can you let me know what you've told the cousins so we're all on the same page and they don't tell her something different to what I do?"

TriciaH87 · 02/08/2019 21:17

Message them saying that's disappointing would be really nice to see you. Being busy wouldn't have something to do with the holiday you are all on that dd has seen posted up? Thanks for that by the way she's extremely upset to find out she is not welcome.

Crunchymum · 02/08/2019 21:17

@Groovee

Are you the OP?

HollowTalk · 02/08/2019 21:18

That sounds really hurtful. Have they done this sort of thing before?

Crunchymum · 02/08/2019 21:18

@Groovee

As you were, I see you just missed out an 'd

OP, this is literally unbelievable!!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 02/08/2019 21:19

Are you a jealous person normally? What is your relationship like with your parents and siblings?

TriciaH87 · 02/08/2019 21:19

As for your parents I would be utterly furious. Hope they do not end up depending on you in old age.

krankykittykat · 02/08/2019 21:23

Just simply say where was my invite?

Lilyofthefields · 02/08/2019 21:25

Text your mum and say, "Have you all gone on holiday without me?"

INeedAFlerken · 02/08/2019 21:25

Awfully cruel and insensitive to exclude you and your family while also posting about their trip where you and your children can easily see what they've done.

I would have to say something.

Rosere · 02/08/2019 21:28

No way!!!! That is just odd. I'd understand maybe if you didn't speak to any of them, but if there's no feud, or any thing like that going on, that's frankly horrible! I hope you and your family get a few days away and have an absolutely great time.

Millie2017 · 02/08/2019 21:28

I’d have to ask and wouldn’t be particularly polite. Just say what has happened “DD saw photos and it seems you are all on holiday. She is upset that we were not included. Why was that?” And wait.

Morgan12 · 02/08/2019 21:32

Arseholes.

Personally, this is something I'd never ever forgive.

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