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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family going on holiday minus me

149 replies

Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 02/08/2019 20:53

So DD asked me why we didn’t go on the family holiday with nana grandpa and the rest of the crew, I quizzed her then she said her cousin had posted pics on her Snapchat of her abroad in turkey with the rest of her cousins and aunts etc.

And of course me and my kids were not in any of them.

I reassured my daughter to spare her the feelings but I don’t understand why I was not invited.

I messaged one of my sisters to ask if she wanted to have a meal out and watch lion king with her daughter and she said she was busy this week ( probably the duration of her holiday) I asked my other sister who was also busy 😾.

And it can’t be the fact that I have a baby because my youngest has a 2 month year old baby and has gone.

AIBU to feel hate towards them and extreme jealousy, should I confront them?

OP posts:
FagashJackie · 03/08/2019 00:53

I think face to face or phone would be better than text. But please do ask about it.

Whatisinaname1 · 03/08/2019 07:32

You definitely need to ask about it. Your sister lied to you by omitting the truth.

What is your relationship with them usually like?

Nautiloid · 03/08/2019 07:36

That would be so incredibly hurtful. How are things normally?

CuppaSarah · 03/08/2019 07:42

Don't do any of the dramatic ideas listed above, anything even slightly negative and they'll use it to justify their actions further and not take responsibility.

Just message the one you'd say you're closest too, tell them you've seen they're all away and ask why you weren't included.

S1naidSucks · 03/08/2019 09:57

Hi OP. Have you decided how to deal with the situation yet?

Original poster
Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 03/08/2019 16:11

So I face times my sister which they both rejected.

My relationship with them is alright I mean last Christmas we had a fall out but we made it up.

I messaged my brother saying ‘ ring me’ which he didn’t. So I sent a long message to all my siblings.

They then basically just gave me a ton of bull crap, Oh Morgan is so little blah blah, your husband is not there to pay blah.

I said well all you needed to do was ask. They the said we rang once, once!!!!! Also when I was at work, almost as if they knew I wouldn’t be able to answer 😤. I’m fuming!!!!

I told my DD we simply couldn’t afford it but I am hurt.

Even if I couldn’t of afforded it, they still could of told me.

Also they tried blaming my poor niece saying that she shouldn’t of posted so I went you shouldn’t of went on holiday with out your sister

Bitched ffs!!!

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 03/08/2019 16:16

should I confront them?
Confronting them as in go in with accusations and insults? No, but definitely tell them how it feels. You’d be a robot to not feel upset by such deliberate exclusion, and it would be very odd not to feed that back to them.
How do you normally get on with them?

Original poster
Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 03/08/2019 16:16

I confronted them well, sending a long paragraph.
They gave me bull crap as an answer, ‘ oh Morgan is a baby’ ‘ your husband isn’t there’ too much money blah blah. They even tried to blame my poor niece who was supposed to ask dd to ask me (!) bs!!!

I think it’s too do with the fact we had a fall out last Christmas.

😐 idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

Even if they knew I could not afford it, they stilll could of messaged/ asked me if I could come.

They claim to have rung me, coincidently during my work hours when it was obvious I wouldn’t of been able to answer.

Man are they cruel 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 03/08/2019 16:21

Thank you everyone BTW, better family then the one I currently own, anyone up for swappsies ? 🥺

OP posts:
Jimmers · 03/08/2019 16:23

How hurtful for you & your DD. Have you asked your parents anything about the situation?

mcmooberry · 03/08/2019 16:38

Disgraceful of them all to leave you out like that, glad you confronted them. Hope this puts a dampener on their holiday, but I somehow doubt it.

Picnicbasketblanket · 03/08/2019 16:52

I'm sorry OP, that must be upsetting Flowers

It sounds like it probably was the Christmas fall out that's done it. Were things good before that? Do you usually all/some go on holiday together?

You said you thought everything was fine after the fall out, is it possible there are still hurt feelings?

Even so, it was shitty for your DD to see her cousin posting pics like that.

moreofaslummythanyummy · 03/08/2019 17:34

I am so sorry they have treated you this way OP 😭
As others have said, I am not sure I would get over this , it is really cruel 😢

Thehop · 03/08/2019 17:40

Horrible cows. Book you and your kids something to look forward to.

FatThor · 03/08/2019 17:48

Oh OP what a bunch of assholes Sad

Am I right in thinking your parents are there too? What do they have to say for themselves?

IAskTooManyQuestions · 03/08/2019 17:52

What was the fall out about ?

Ilovesunshine22 · 03/08/2019 17:53

Tell them how it's made you feel and how hurt you and DD are how upsetting it was for her to see that on snap chat etc ask them how them and there children would feel being left out! X

Bumbags · 03/08/2019 17:54

It’s the secrecy that would annoy me the most and the fact everyone knew and purposely didn’t mention it.

I think would have to go LC for a while.

However

Could you afford to go away?
Have you got a partner?
Do the family not like him?

NeedingAdvice29 · 03/08/2019 17:58
Hmm
HJWT2 · 03/08/2019 18:00

Don't think I would speak to them again! This would of broke my heart, hugs Op xx

Chickychoccyegg · 03/08/2019 18:01

think I'd be having very little to do with any of them after that, so weird to keep it all a secret then come up with a bunch of absolutely rubbish excuses.

Farmerswifey12 · 03/08/2019 18:04

OP that's awful, what a terrible bunch of excuses, I would be extremely hurt too and would take me a while to get over it. I would probably go very little contact or knowing me who is very stubborn, would not speak to them at all for the moment

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/08/2019 18:06

Poor you and poor niece getting taught to lie Sad

What was the fall out about?

user1485851222 · 03/08/2019 18:06

30+ yrs on, I still remember my brother, his wife & my sister & her husband, being invited to my other brothers for boxing day. Myself and my husband weren't invited. It is hurtful & they should have given you the opportunity to decline the invite, if you couldn't have gone. Were they going to keep it a secret, because it would have eventually come out they all went away....

Toomuchtrouble4me · 03/08/2019 18:09

Wow - “Dear Siblings, please put yourselves in my position, and try to feel how hurtful this is, to have the whole family plan a lovely holiday and leave just one sister out.
Please don’t blame finances or Morgan’s age. You deliberately kept this a secret and if I couldn’t afford it or Morgan is too young - that should be my decision. It’s done now and can never be undone but the thought of you all planning in secret and then leaving without telling me has made me so sad and lonely and I’m shocked that you are so callous as to do it.”