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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family going on holiday minus me

149 replies

Youwillneverwalkalone12 · 02/08/2019 20:53

So DD asked me why we didn’t go on the family holiday with nana grandpa and the rest of the crew, I quizzed her then she said her cousin had posted pics on her Snapchat of her abroad in turkey with the rest of her cousins and aunts etc.

And of course me and my kids were not in any of them.

I reassured my daughter to spare her the feelings but I don’t understand why I was not invited.

I messaged one of my sisters to ask if she wanted to have a meal out and watch lion king with her daughter and she said she was busy this week ( probably the duration of her holiday) I asked my other sister who was also busy 😾.

And it can’t be the fact that I have a baby because my youngest has a 2 month year old baby and has gone.

AIBU to feel hate towards them and extreme jealousy, should I confront them?

OP posts:
nuxe1984 · 03/08/2019 18:15

I would be VERY upset by this - and it's going to hang over you all for years now. Every time the holiday is mentioned (and the children will bring it up) it's going to hurt you ...

They've certainly shown their true colours …

What have the GPs said - is it your parents? If it's yours then speak to your mum when they get back - tell her that this has really upset you and that you don't think you'll ever forgive them especially as it's your DD who has been left out as well. If it's another set of GPs then it's probably nothing to do with them and they've possibly been told you were asked but couldn't come.

My advice - limited contact in the future … they don't deserve to have you as sister!

Intheupsidedown · 03/08/2019 18:19

Did you have a fall out with your parents as well?

If not I would be asking what their thinking was and how they could be so cruel.

I have a difficult relationship with my brother who gets on well with my other brother however my parents would never agree to a family holiday if we weren't involved. In fact my mum would dearly love one but she knows my sister in law would make the whole thing awful for everyone so hasnt bothered.

Its heartbreaking op when family treat you like shit. Fill your time with friends who love you and treat you much better!

LIZS · 03/08/2019 18:23

It does seem small minded. Could you have afforded it? Was it booked when you had fallen out perhaps?

chickenyhead · 03/08/2019 18:32

Oh OP, this is horrific!!!!

They didn't just burn the bridge, they strapped 2mkg sensex to it and blew that mf in to space!

Block em all, buy wine, put on pjs and cry. Then get up and draw a line around yourself, protect your bubble. If they behave like this then I would rather not have them in my life, or whatever you decide.

Blood is obviously gasoline in this situation.

Bastards!

CoraPirbright · 03/08/2019 19:00

Your sisters are obviously COWS but what on earth is the excuse of your parents???

MamaOfBothTeams · 03/08/2019 19:04

Oh op that's horrible, have you spoken to your parents?

eurochick · 03/08/2019 19:18

A lot of holidays are booked just after Christmas, so I'd guess the Christmas fallout is responsible. The secrecy and excuses afterwards are awful though.

Daisychainsgetbroken · 03/08/2019 19:48

How horrid

PanamaPattie · 03/08/2019 20:04

Well at least you know your Christmas list will be nice and short this year. What a bunch of twats. I'm sorry about your selfish and shitty family. Flowers

Leeds2 · 03/08/2019 20:12

They all seem rather nasty, and I am surprised that your parents seem to be complicit in this. I would be massively cutting back contact and, if I did any of them any favours eg collecting DC from school, babysitting, dog walking etc I would stop that too. They have shown their true colours, and they aren't nice.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 03/08/2019 20:16

Sorry they’ve been shit Flowers

I’m afraid I’d personally be so pissed off I probably wouldn’t bother with them much again - but I can be v petty unfortunately

seven201 · 03/08/2019 20:21

What fuckers. Thanks

HeyMonkey · 03/08/2019 20:32

What was the fall out at Christmas about?

HeyMonkey · 03/08/2019 20:33

It's just so odd, it sounds like there must be more to it.

manicmij · 03/08/2019 20:37

Point out your daughter found out about the holiday and asked why you weren't there too. Just tell them you have no idea why you weren't and found it difficult to explain so, for the record WHY?

MummyAng · 03/08/2019 20:52

Doesn’t matter what Xmas fall out was, that is so very cruel.. it’s not petty to not contact them... you can do without people like that in your life. Some families are shit and sorry this has happened to you because noone deserves to be treated like that...

Fowles94 · 03/08/2019 21:22

I feel so bad for you and I'm sorry but I wouldn't forgive ANY of the people (except children obviously) who have gone on holiday. They clearly don't care about you or your feelings.

ToftyAC · 03/08/2019 21:37

Wow OP, that’s harsh. In your position I’d struggle to forgive.

Pimmsypimms · 03/08/2019 21:39

Sorry op,it's a really shitty things to do. Not sure I'd be able to forgive that Thanks

justasking111 · 03/08/2019 21:45

I am so shocked at your parents allowing this to happen to be honest, sisters meh from what I hear they can be bitches, but your parents that is just unbelievable.

cooldarkroom · 04/08/2019 08:52

Toomuchtrouble4mes message is good.
I would be irreparabley hurt. & go very low contact.

scubadive · 04/08/2019 09:06

Have you asked Nana and Grandpa. I would call them when home and say how devastated you are to be left out. How upset your daughter is to be the only cousin left out, they you dont understand why. I’d have thought nana and grandpa might help you with the cost rather than be the only sibling not there.

It does seem really mean.

Tistheseason17 · 04/08/2019 09:19

Toomuch's message is good.
I'd go NC/LC on them.
Why would you want people capable of such cruel pack mentality in your life.
They were never going to get away with it which shows intent to hurt you.
I'm sorry.

diddl · 04/08/2019 09:37

So who planned & organised it all?

Why didn't your parents contact you about it?

Did your siblings say that they had & you couldn't make it?

LittleAndOften · 04/08/2019 10:13

Sending you all my sympathy. This is bloody awful.
Where are your parents in all of this? Why aren't they managing the situation? That's what I find most shocking. You need to speak to them ASAP and find out why they sanctioned this mess. It's appalling.