What is fair here? 🤷‍♀️

[Sundancer77]

I’m a teacher and occasionally babysit in the holidays for big jobs-weddings etc as it’s great money. Months ago, a parent of a child I used to teach contacted me and said the company she works for were looking for a babysitter for 8 hours for a group of 6 children with a provided room at a wedding. The hotel venue is almost an hour away and I’d be driving back past midnight (have a baby dd so am pretty exhausted these days!) so I was quite reluctant and only agreed due to the good pay (pay based on price per child, per hour.
The family transferred the deposit to me (half of the overall pay-€300) and I would receive the further €300 on the night, with extra pay for any extra children or if we ran over (which they said we likely would) so weighing it up, the travel/hassle etc was worth the pay.
Now..a couple of days ago, the Mum who works for the company contacted me and said there had been big family problems, many of the guests had, had to cancel and as a result they’d only been one child to babysit. Also as a result, she said to keep the deposit (well, I’d already spent it!) and on the night wouldn’t receive any pay as working out the deposit they’d already paid, for one child per hour, it’s a good amount and can cover my travel etc.
Aibu to feel pissed off? Obviously it can’t be helped if guests pull out (due to a family illness) but I wouldn’t have taken the job if I was only getting paid the fee of the deposit due to the long drive, late hours etc. I only agreed as the pay was worth it? So what happens now? What’s fair in this situation? Do I have to do it as they paid half the pay on a deposit? If I don’t want to do it (I don’t) do I pay the deposit back??

Simple - you are not able to return the deposit. That's standard. She loses the deposit. Any emotion\guilt stuff is irrelevant. You agreed a service and took a deposit. She no longer required service, deposit gone. They don't expect the deposit back, they are trying it on.

Well, I kind of phrased it as ‘Would that mean I’m expected to return the deposit though??’
She said she doesn’t want any ill feeling and sorry it ended up being shit 😏

@Bluntness100 I’m not trying to turn them over 🤷‍♀️ I just think the whole thing is a bit unfair. Wish I’d never agreed in the first place as now I have to find that money again when really I would’ve preferred not to have it to begin with 😏

I feel like asking if I can email the wedding party/couple directly myself? I don’t really like doing it through this company as who knows what their policies are for different things.

@Sundancer77 about the deposit,its not their fault you spent the deposit and know have to find it again.

Another thing,how old is your baby.Where you originally bringing your baby or was there someone else minding your dc.

If it was me,i would go and do it.You have 1 child and your own baby.Saves all this hand wringing.And maybe the next time put it in the t&c.

1 child for 8 hours for £300? Even taking your traveling costs out of that you're still doing well.

You agreed a per child fee... I feel like you should go and look after the child for the £300.

You can’t cancel the babysitting but keep the deposit, that’s not how things work.

They might’ve changed the goal posts which obviously means it would be fine to turn down the job now but you would have to return the deposit if you did.

Please don’t email the Bride and Groom directly, they didn’t enter into any sort of contract with you and it would be unfair to rope them into your issues.

@dustarr73, she’s one and no definitely not taking her, it’s well over an hours drive into the middle of nowhere and is for 8 hours plus.
I really have been naive to all this, so if you take the deposit, do you always keep it until the job is done, I stupidly hadn’t anticipated any of this.

I'm also a teacher. £300 for 8 hours work is good money and I would still do it !

It’s not really about whether it’s good money or not to me, I realise it is a good amount but not for the hassles that go along with it (for me personally)

I just babysat a couple of nights ago 10
minutes down the road until 11pm and was pretty much exhausted. I co sleep with my dd, who doesn’t sleep much at all and the thought of driving back at god knows what time in the morning in the dark for a long way fills me with dread. There’s also the pint that it’s highly unlikely it will be until 11/11.30 as wedding receptions of course run over a lot generally, so if it were to go on until 4am, I wouldn’t get paid for the extra hours by the sound of it.
She said she’d be grateful if I was willing to return it so she could find someone else. I honestly wish the opportunity had never come to me.

In my book a deposit is a deposit to hold your serviced. You might have turned down another job because you'd agreed to do this one. I'd keep the deposit

IMO there are only 2 options - 1. Do the job and keep the money OR 2. Cancel and pay every penny back. I can't believe how many people think it's acceptable to keep any part of the payment you've received, never mind all of it. It's not as if you are out of pocket by cancelling.

It isn't just a deposit though, it was half the payment. I would either return 200 so keep 100 as the deposit, or negotiate up to say 400.

But tbh, I would do it for 300.

But if I agreed to do it for 300 I would state there would be an overhours charge.

I’d see it as the same as paying for a birthday party (or a wedding) really. There’s a basic price that covers up to a certain number and then charges per additional person. You have to pay the basic price regardless how few people are coming.

And you pay a (non-refundable) deposit to secure the date. When booking you recognise that cancelling will result in the loss of this.

I think the Mum is being a total cheeky fucker in trying to get you to do it for half the agreed minimum fee.

I’m not sure about this one really. In the end OP, it’s YOU who’s cancelling not them as you don’t want to do it now the arrangements have changed (but sounds awfully like you might have needed to cancel anyway the way you’re feeling with new baby etc). So my gut feeling is you should just give all the money back and move on.

I would return half as a gesture of goodwill. They've tied up that date for you and you've lost income, you shouldn't be the only one to bear the brunt. I would inform them if you received a last minute booking you will refund the full deposit though.

It’s not really about whether it’s good money or not to me, I realise it is a good amount but not for the hassles that go along with it (for me personally)

They why agree to it.You knew where the hotel was,i think the $$$$ where in your eyes.And now its closer to the date you just dont want to do it.

The caterer or flowers person, e tc. Wouldn't return a deposit. How is the service the OP is offering any different? It's business, not charity. None of you saying she should return the deposit would expect the caterer to do the same.

And it's not OP cancelling them. She agreed to a amount deposit, x amount on the day. Now they are saying do x amount on the day for free as requirements have changed. Any service provider would refuse. They have cancelled on OP. She has the right to say no and keep the deposit. If she took it to small claims court she would win.

The caterer has got costs etc, has to buy the food and hire the staff or whatever. I don’t think that’s the same as OP at all.

What kind of sham ‘business’ is this! Pretty sure most deposits are not usually 50%. They made a part payment & you can’t use the excuse “sorry I spent it”. That would be so unprofessional, even for a cash side business.

Business smarts = stipulating a minimum number of children per booking or setting a flat rate. You were happy to charge per child thinking numbers would go over, but they haven’t

Also you say E600 is the going rate for this type of work in your area as it’s so in demand & people can’t find babysitters this time of year - so presumably you could pick up another babysitting job that night anyway. Just admit you want to keep the E300 and hoping to get another babysitting gig that night anyway

I won’t comment on the do it or not situation as you’ve already made a decision. Definitely confirm the terms around cancellation, in writing, for any future bookings though. You don’t want to have this happen again, do you. I’d be feeling the same as you about the fact they’d changed the terms and just expected you to accept it. Regardless of what they were paying, they and you both agreed that was the amount and they were happy with it.

I would let the lady know also that you will have to have a week or twice to return the deposit, if you haven’t already. Put this one down to experience.

@dustarr73 I agreed to it as it was over double the pay and weighing all that up decided I’d do it..normal when deciding on a job surely..! For the original fee I was thinking of staying over in a cheap b&b nearby possibly. And yes, with any job, it’s for the money, that doesn’t make me a bad person.