What is fair here? 🤷‍♀️

[Sundancer77]

I’m a teacher and occasionally babysit in the holidays for big jobs-weddings etc as it’s great money. Months ago, a parent of a child I used to teach contacted me and said the company she works for were looking for a babysitter for 8 hours for a group of 6 children with a provided room at a wedding. The hotel venue is almost an hour away and I’d be driving back past midnight (have a baby dd so am pretty exhausted these days!) so I was quite reluctant and only agreed due to the good pay (pay based on price per child, per hour.
The family transferred the deposit to me (half of the overall pay-€300) and I would receive the further €300 on the night, with extra pay for any extra children or if we ran over (which they said we likely would) so weighing it up, the travel/hassle etc was worth the pay.
Now..a couple of days ago, the Mum who works for the company contacted me and said there had been big family problems, many of the guests had, had to cancel and as a result they’d only been one child to babysit. Also as a result, she said to keep the deposit (well, I’d already spent it!) and on the night wouldn’t receive any pay as working out the deposit they’d already paid, for one child per hour, it’s a good amount and can cover my travel etc.
Aibu to feel pissed off? Obviously it can’t be helped if guests pull out (due to a family illness) but I wouldn’t have taken the job if I was only getting paid the fee of the deposit due to the long drive, late hours etc. I only agreed as the pay was worth it? So what happens now? What’s fair in this situation? Do I have to do it as they paid half the pay on a deposit? If I don’t want to do it (I don’t) do I pay the deposit back??

Personally I'd just do it or give most of the deposit back. Sounds like you're opening yourself up to a lot of stress and guilt if you don't.

I would keep the 50 and return the 250. If I no longer wanted to do it Explain that because of the reduced pay, you no longer wish to babysit. On the orher hand 300 is still good for an evening.

I think you need to be very clear about whether the 300 was a deposit or not.

If you have a message trail that clearly states the 300 as a deposit then you keep it and cancel the job as it wasn’t the original agreement.

For all they know, you could have turned down better paid work because of their booking - hence the deposit.

Next time be crystal clear about t&c

Either do the job, or return the £300!!!!
Not a difficult decision.
If you struggle to find £300 to return, then you shouldn’t have spent it in the first place!

Just re-reading over the messages, I asked to confirm the times etc in May, she replied to me a few days ago, apologising and with the change of plans due to Aunts illness and another couple pulling out and another now not bringing their children. She asked if I would now still do it and asked what I thought about keeping the deposit as now full payment as that now compensates me..

Also, 300 is a lot of money to lose. However, it’s a cost that will be spread across several families. It would be different if it was just one person having to bear the loss in which case you might be more flexible but that isn’t the case here.

Elledubloo the €300 deposit was paid months ago, why shouldn’t I have spent it? I assumed the job was a definite go ahead 🤷‍♀️If I would have had to cancel for any reason, that would be different as I’d return the full amount. I don’t know, this hasn’t happened before, it always goes ahead.

If they had paid you nothing and then suggested this change and you'd declined the new offer,, would you expect them to give you 300 euro? If not I wouldn't keep it. I might say to them that I can't do it for 300 but given the circumstances could reduce to 500.

She asked if I would now still do it and asked what I thought about keeping the deposit as now full payment as that now compensates me..

She is asking you what you think. So you let her know what you think which is that it puts you at a loss and that, regretfully, you are no longer able to do the job

It sounds like you really want to keep the €300 but I think you would be cheeky to do so. I think you could keep €50 or maybe €100.

Getting someone else to do it but paying them a lot less also seems cheeky.

I’m guessing you know what’s fair but are hoping enough posters will tell you to go for it

Firstly call it a booking fee and not a deposit as legally deposits can be given back.
You're running a business so while it's sad that the family member is ill it's not your problem! If you let people off then word gets round, you need to be consistent!

Good luck xx

Unless you made it clear to her it wouldn’t be worthwhile for only 1 child, YABU.

@Zazazube Just looking over and the messages say to pay initial 50% deposit, they were happy with this and asked for nib details the same day 🤷‍♀️ The remainder of the other half to be paid on the night, with any extra children or further hours to be added at the €15 rate-this was stipulated by the mum from the company. Hence I thought would be €600 and possibly a good amount more as the Mum said may run over for a few hours (as a wedding party generally does)
It’s just all very wishy washy, if this runs over a few hours with this one child, I’m guessing no extra either as it all seems to have been considered to be all paid up under the umbrella of the deposit given.

I’m a top of the pay scale teacher and E600 seems masses to me, particularly if you were only planning popcorn and a dvd. Hardly earth shattering. If there’s only one child could you negotiate taking your own baby?
I couldn’t have it on my conscience to just keep the money.
Teachers prob get around £120 net for a day’s work anyway, with far more children and planning! I can see how it’s a disappointment but you can’t just keep the money surely!

She is a teacher, Don't you respect professional qualifications and experience?

I didn't say anything about whether I do or don't respect qualifications and experience?

I said I am stunned at over £600 for an evenings baby sitting

You're running a business no shes not. Otherwise she would have had written confirmation, cancellation policies etc. She is doing a bit of moonlighting.
Take a bit as a booking fee if you want, but to keep the whole E300 and not do the job is cheeky.

Oh and add to that, she won't be actively teaching them will she, it's not a tutor session, it's babysitting.

@Yabbers if I knew it was only for one child, I definitely wouldn’t have 🤷‍♀️It was 6 at the start, a large wedding party with a complete plan.
@NoWayDidISayThat It’s not that I greedily want to keep the money, it’s that I now have to find it 🤷‍♀️ I was also counting on the further amount tbh.

Do you usually take a 50% non refundable deposit?

Even taking travelling into account it's still a good chunk of money isn't it?

"I agreed to the job at £600 for up to six children between the hours of x and y, with extra payable for any extra hours or extra children. It is not worth my while for the travel and unsociable hours for less than this amount. It is unfortunate that the other families have pulled out but either you stick with the original agreement or else you will need to cancel and forfeit your deposit."

All the people questioning the fee, it’s average where I am for these types of parties at this time of year. In fact, we can’t find a babysitter ourselves because that’s the average here and the majority not qualified in any way, shape or form. I didn’t set the precedent here, if it wasn’t me doing the job, wouldn’t be the issue. The issue is about how it now works when the plan has changed completely. Will give the money back and not do the job but came on here to get others opinions when the initial agreement was changed by them, not me.

@diddl Both the Mum and I loosely discussed it and came to that agreement quickly and easily..nothing was said about it being non-refundable. This isn’t something that happens on a regular basis, I’ve only had a few jobs like this, I generally go with what the parents ask and it’s never been an issue., they needed someone, she asked me to do it.

*If it wasn’t me doing the job, it would be someone else, the price isn’t the issue here, they agreed to it and it would’ve shipped around, would’ve been a similar amount im sure.

*Shopped ffs..phone

if I knew it was only for one child, I definitely wouldn’t have 🤷‍♀️It was 6 at the start, a large wedding party with a complete plan.

But you didn’t tell her that. She’s done nothing wrong.