Answering the door

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

Just read a post in a Facebook group that’s got me thinking. Man posted that he lives with 5 other people who were all at home, and he missed a delivery while he was in the shower. When he asked his roommates if no one heard the doorbell, they all responded that they did but as they weren’t expecting anyone, no one answered the door. He was upset and asked the group if he was wrong for expecting at least one person to answer.

I have to say a lot of the responses shocked me. Loads of people gave answers ranging from they only answer the door if they are expecting someone, to never answering the door!

One person commented that it must be an American thing (mostly Americans in the group) as they didn’t think it was commonplace at all in the UK. And I have to say I agree!

So I’m wondering now what you all do? Is it cultural? I live in London and have never thought twice about answering the door, as I usually expect it to be mail, signed for or parcel etc that can’t fit through the letter box. Sometimes I expect deliveries, but to be honest many times I order a few things and actually forget about them until they arrive! And of course there are letters that require a signature that are unexpected.

I also work in a private home, the owners get parcels delivered all the time, I can’t imagine not answering the door!

So AIBU to think that it’s the norm to not answer unless you are expecting the caller?

I never answer the door unless I am expecting someone or a delivery. Under no other circumstances will I answer the door. I think it's rude to show up at people's door unannounced whether that be my friends, my family or a cold caller. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to speak to anyone.

I had a fear of answering the door from a child. It had something to do with bailiffs and hiding from debt collectors. It took a long time to get over it and there was genuine fear when the door went at times.

I don't answer the door unless I am expecting a delivery or someone to visit. The main reason is because I'm bound to be in my (awful) PJs and no bra. Secondary reason is I am antisocial and if someone were turning up for a cuppa (unlikely as most people now know my feelings on it) I would be really pissed off.

I always open it but I know my neighbours don't because I get their deliveries when they're in!
I kind of get it late at night but I'd always at least look who it was. We had an emergency one night, just me in the house with two four year olds and a newborn.
It was 11pm and not one of my reachable neighbours answered the door. It was desperate.

I always answer the door, but only because I have a sign that says "no cold callers etc" just under my bell. If they have ignored the sign I thank them for visiting and say I'm not interested and shut the door...

Us here - we used to never answer the door unless we were expecting a package that would have to be signed for. Most are just left on the steps.

We now have a camera at the door, so I can check if it is a neighbor and answer if that is the case.

I stopped answering the door to cold callers when an unplanned G4S meter reader turned up at my door and I was home alone. I wasn't comfortable with that at all.
Any time I've done it in error since when I am expecting someone it's always someone who is a complete nuisance or strikes me as dodgy. Why would I put myself in that situation in my own home.
My postman comes at the same time roughly daily so I do take in packages for neighbours from time to time.

If I'm upstairs I'll look out of the window then come down. If I'm downstairs I'll answer. If I've been on my way in and see sales people or religious groups coming down the street il if ignore tha door. I really dont care.

If I'm not expecting anyone or anything, no I won't answer it. Because who is it going to be? Cold caller, Jehovah's witness, political door knocker etc. Not one scenario where it's someone I want to answer the door to.

I only answer once I’ve checked the cameras to see who it is. We have installed a full on security system including panic alarm and motion sensors and heat detectors which set off a series of events.

Anyone I know doesn’t knock they text or it’s a prior arranged thing.

I 99% of the time don’t answer my phone ringing either. If it’s important family will text. I answer the school only pretty much.

Nope don't answer the door unless someone's coming round because I live on a main road so get non stop cold callers. My front door is 2 big glass panels so I can see if it's the postman/woman by the red tops they wear

I have found this thread thoroughly entertaining!

FWIW: I am early 30s, live in a not-so-great borough (ranked bottom 5 of most ‘grim’ places to live, among other such charming measures). I also don’t have a landline, but have never had an issue due to this (don’t have children of my own who live with me).

Also, considering that I live in a busy part of town, I have to say the number of cold callers and fish vans I’ve had actually knock on the door have been less than 10 in the last few years (fish vans is actually ZERO 😂)

Over 90% of my door knockers are delivery men. And yes while certain courier companies DO notify you of a delivery, not ALL do (hello, Royal Mail), and I don’t always know when a delivery will be coming.

For anyone who doesn’t answer the door due to disability or bad experience: of course those are perfectly reasonable explanations, and not what the post is about. The same goes for living next to a ‘drug den’ as a couple have mentioned, although I can’t imagine that that’s a statistically large number at all.

I am just genuinely intrigued by people who simply ‘don’t answer the door to strangers’ (clearly the delivery man is a stranger?) or don’t answer the door to anyone who doesn’t text/call first (again, the post man doesn’t have your number). Maybe I order more than the average person, but with deliveries taking sometimes up to 2 weeks to arrive, I GENUINELY forget I’m expecting something.

But I guess all the non-door-answerers have been doing it for years and it works for them!

Maybe I order more than the average person, but with deliveries taking sometimes up to 2 weeks to arrive, I GENUINELY forget I’m expecting something.

I have Amazon Prime and it generally arrives the next day and you can track the delivery man so I can see when he's in the street ☺️☺️☺️

@origamiunicorn so do I, but I also order from eBay and lots of independent sellers

I prime or click and collect. Worst case though fetch it from the sorting office. Alexa tells me my parcel is out for delivery and once again the cameras allow me to see who it is.

I always used to answer the door but since having a new door fitted with a spy hole! It has changed my life! Why the hell should I get stuck explaining to someone why I don’t want to sign up/pay for something. Love it!!

I tend not to answer unless I'm expecting someone/delivery.

I hate people and hate getting disturbed when I get home from work. We always get cold callers come just as I'm getting the kids ready for bed too.

We have a Ring doorbell too so it's also great for spying on who is there

Parcels get left in porch ( as I said upthread, naice neighbourhood and never had anything stolen)

On the very rare occasion something has to be signed for (once or twice a year) I pop to the Post Office to sign and collect.

Do the people who live in a permanent panic about missing a delivery never go to work? How are you paying for all these deliveries?

I have taken a couple of parcels in for my Dd very nosey neighbour ( my Dd is disabled so we don't usually go out till late morning) but then the cf started knocking early in the morning saying I'm expecting a parcel are you out today.. it was getting so regular that I got fed up with trying to justify my going out over hers so I ignored her knock I think she got the message she's married and they are both semi retired so think her DH could have waited in.

I don't answer the door unless I know who is coming. I'll explain why:

I live in a large block of flats. When the buzzer goes, I can't see who is at the door. 9 times out of 10 it's someone asking to be let in, saying they are delivering takeaway, here to visit someone etc. It is never anything I've ordered. If I let them in, I'm responsible for that, I'm vouching that they're meant to be here, I've let them in to the communal area. So I have to guess and take that risk. If they're here for takeaway, whoever ordered it should let them in, not me.

It is never anything good, and whenever I've gone back to answering the buzzer I've regretted it.

I don't get how that's hard to understand. It's 100% people I don't know, or unsolicited/unwanted calls. My neighbours would knock directly on my internal door.

I find the people saying it's odd, etc... they don't understand other living situations, and it's pretty rude to say that. Why should I be bothered multiple times a day for cold callers, unwanted sales, and 'takeaways' that should be let in by other people, when it's 100% that type of call? I also used to work from home on the phone/online and couldn't interrupt it. I've never had anyone who is lost, or any of those other scenarios described. I don't think I've ever had a child ring the buzzer either.

It's not weird or strange. It's common sense. And if you lived here, after answering it 100 times to this exact scenario, you'd stop too. Quite honestly I simply don't want to let someone in when I don't know who they are.

Don't open the door unless I know who it is. I don't like people turning up uninvited, won't have people in tonrrad meters etc without advanced warning, not happy to talk to people selling/religious groups/political groups on my doorstep. Delivery i order prime so I know when it's arriving.

I am shocked everytime and pretend not to be in. Everyone I know my age does the same. I thought it was generational.

I don't see any benefit in answering it, friends or family will tell me first. I can track my parcels.

Not answering the door is extremely weird behaviour.