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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give birth through the NHS?

358 replies

HereOrThereAndAnywhere · 01/08/2019 18:44

With all the news stories of poor NHS maternity care and not good outcomes, I'm wondering if it would be worth it to give birth in another country. Is that a bad idea? Was your birth experience (if you had one in the last couple years) ok?

For voting purposes

YABU = Maternity care is perfect and there's nothing to worry about
YANBU = Maternity care has really gone downhill so I would try to figure out another way to give birth either privately or abroad

OP posts:
applepieicecream · 02/08/2019 19:35

. I’d say the NHS is one of the safest places to have a baby as if there is problem going private you’ll end up rushed to the nearest NHS hospital anyway

No, the only private maternity hospital is The Portland all other private facilities are within NHS hospitals and all babies born in these hospitals are NHS patients and have the special care facilities on site. Not all NHS hospitals have the neonatal intensive care units anyway so the sickest babies would have to be moved regardless.

Nyata · 02/08/2019 19:35

Everyone’s experience is different. Like someone said, you could end up going back to the NHS to rectify problems caused by private healthcare. Also how long after you have given birth were you planning to stay in that country. Rather let me rephrase this, childbirth is unpredictable. In the event of staying in hospital longer than anticipated, would you still be able to afford it. Will you have the support that you need. Its a good idea if you have a textbook delivery.

Maczoom · 02/08/2019 19:36

Nano that's not my experience of working in a busy maternity hospital in a major city. Think you've been reading the Daily Mail, who love to pretend that the NHS is at breaking point due to health tourists, rather than admitting it's being run into the ground so people won't object when it's sold off!

Whatevertrevor19 · 02/08/2019 19:38

It all depends on the hospital itself. I gave birth in March, my local hospital is always being slated but I couldn't have asked for a better experience or better midwives, doctors & health care assistance. I had 2 marvellous midwives (shift change), a very attentive trainee midwife, a fantastic consultant who spoke to me in such a reassuring way & even the health care assitant who helped me shower afterwards was so sweet & genuinely cared 😍

Fowles94 · 02/08/2019 19:39

I live in a small town so everybody gives birth either home or our local maternity unit. Yes they're overstretched but they are brilliant and I don't know anyone personally who's had trouble. Maybe if I lived somewhere differently I'd pay privately but in this country. Last thing I would want was an unwell baby or mother stuck in another country.

Nettie1964 · 02/08/2019 19:40

3 babies 2 hospital delivery's 1 home birth. All NHS all fabulous. Not Perfect no birth labour etc is when can giving birth be perfect? Don't get stressed and imagine the worst. My midwives and doctors where amazing

HerSymphonyAndSong · 02/08/2019 20:15

“The NHS is a sacred cow and criticizing it is often seen as strictly not cricket.“

While this may or may not be true, in this instance I think it is an inaccurate description of the reasons for mothers defending NHS maternity care. The underlying (perhaps unintentional) accusation is that those who have given birth in NHS settings are knowingly putting their baby at risk. That tends to get people’s backs up

lightsout · 02/08/2019 20:27

I mean it depends - you are more likely to die during childbirth if you’re black here. But I reckon systematic racism in the western world means that statistic will follow you anywhere... I’m not sure what is worrying you specifically about nhs care though so ....
I’ve had 3 NHS babies (one hospital, one at home and one in a midwife led unit) and all were very different experiences but I always felt looked after especially in the midwife led unit they were wonderful.

Piglet89 · 02/08/2019 20:40

@bisquick I heartily agree with everything you said and I am so sorry to hear of your awful experience.

NameWithChange · 02/08/2019 20:41

My Aunt was a Private Midwife. She worked in the NHS for years but left because she just felt she could not do her job properly. I paid for her to accompany me through labour at the local NHS hospital. She was invaluable.

She knew her stuff, wasn't juggling 3 ladies in labour at the same time so could focus on me and reassure me. The other NHS midwives were grateful she was there and they could devote more attention to other Mums in more need.

It wasn't cheap but it was priceless to me and I would highly recommend it.

When she went home and I was left to sleep the night, the lack of any support and attention was staggering.

Good luck @HereOrThereAndAnywhere !

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 02/08/2019 20:48

I’ve had three NHS births. The first was in a hospital, and I really didn’t feel well taken care of. Dc2&3 were home births; both in different parts of the country, and both miles better. It was the community midwives who came to you in labour, and stayed for the delivery. Being in my own surroundings helped, and of course the midwife was just with me, and not juggling several other women. For a straightforward labour, with no risk factors, I would definitely think it’s the best option.

CharlesLeeRay · 02/08/2019 21:00

If you end up in an emergency, such as premature laborr in this country you'll end up in an NHS hospital 🤷‍♀️

CharlesLeeRay · 02/08/2019 21:00

Also, my care last year was nothing short of fantastic!

EllenMP · 02/08/2019 21:02

The stats on private versus NHS hospitals favour going NHS. NHS services are subjected to more oversight and assessment and their outcomes are slightly better. Plus if you go to a private birth centre and something goes wrong you and your baby end up in an NHS hospital anyway.

NHS services are certainly underfunded and therefore understaffed (thanks, Conservatives!) But the burden of this shortsighted policy is mostly born by NHS staff, who do amazing things with so little money. This includes midwives, who go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure their staffing problems do not result in higher maternal and neonatal death rates. Eventually they won't be able to keep managing this feat, but for now the safest place to have your first baby is at a good, well-run NHS hospital. I would only consider private if your local hospital is not rated well.

Also, some NHS post natal wards offer a private ensuite room for you and baby after the birth for a pretty reasonable fee. Having your own bathroom while you are in hospital is pretty much priceless.

1ditzymare · 02/08/2019 21:03

My experience with the NHS was brilliant 2 years ago.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 02/08/2019 21:09

If you can afford to do it privately abroad then why don’t you just go private here?

Cotswoldmama · 02/08/2019 21:25

Amazing experiences with mine. My first was premmie born at 31w3d. I was in hospital for three days before I had him and I was looked after really well I had my own room and a midwife was in with me all night when my partner had to go home on the first night. Then they found him a chair that could be laid flat for him to stay with me for the next two nights. I had about 10 doctors nurses midwives in with me whilst I was in labour but still felt at ease. I had lots of gas and air and two lots of pethadin and diamorphine so was quite out of it but I can remember one midwife massaging my back with essential oils to help with the pain. I can remember being told everything that was happening and I felt as in control as I could be in that situation. My second birth was full term so I went to my local maternity hospital and my experience there was so wonderful. I went in to a beautiful birthing suite with a small kitchen area and bathroom and a birth pool if I wanted it. The lights were dimmed and pretty colours. It was just me and my husband for most of the time until right at the end. After I gave birth we had time alone with our baby then I could have a bath and get ready to go to the ward. It was quite busy when I was there there were about 6 other mums and their babies usually they average only one or two a week so there’s private rooms available but I loved being on the ward. I don’t want any more children but my last birth and experience was so amazing I would do it again and again!

rachaelclaire1 · 02/08/2019 21:31

No no, the NHS is great in my area. They were amazing with both of my complicated births. Maternity staff are usually very good and extremely caring. Also they generally have more resources on hand if there are any complications.

FancifulFeathers · 02/08/2019 21:44

Are you near Chester OP and worried about the care at the Countess?

HawaiianLion · 02/08/2019 21:54

Personally, I gave birth in a hospital that was all over the news at the time for bad maternity care. The news said mums were left in the corridor, wards were over crowded and they were severely understaffed. I saw none of this. The care I received was amazing. My niece has just given birth on an NHS hospital (8 months ago) and I was her BP. Her labour was anything but straight forward and ended in an EMCS. The staff were calm, caring and generally wonderful.

JonSnowIsALoser · 02/08/2019 21:54

I think if you can afford to give birth in a private hospital or abroad and release an NHS maternity bed for someone who doesn’t have these options, go ahead.

I’ve given birth 3 times in an NHS unit, and all’s fine. The NHS isn’t brilliant, especially for post-natal care, but perfectly survivable.

Yaflamingalah · 02/08/2019 22:02

I think you are being utterly ridiculous. What if something should go wrong in the last few months of your pregnancy? What if your baby has to stay in neonatal care for weeks or months? What if you or your baby need life saving surgery post delivery?

Frazzled2207 · 02/08/2019 22:18

Two babies - I found the care when I was actually having the babies exceptional

I did fine ante-natal and post-natal care somewhat chaotic and over stretched. Post-natal ward bit of a nightmare really.

But my births were somewhat complicated and if I had another baby I wouldn't consider having it anywhere other than my local nhs hospital.

elQuintoConyo · 02/08/2019 22:24

Do you speak either Polish or Greek? I'm C2 level in Spanish, but during the stressful and frightening birth of my son, I'd have given anything to be in my native country. When push came to shove (so to speak!) and there were 12 people in the room yabbering on, I was totally lost and freaking out.

Post natal care was excellent, food was amazing Grin

sunshinemode · 02/08/2019 22:29

Would you need a passport for the baby to return. My friend who had right to remain not sure exactly maybe even citizenship by then in this country returned to her country of origin for her maternity period and the baby was refused a visa. She had to return to work leaving the baby behind. It took almost 2 years and the involvement of her MP to sort it out. So be sure of all the rules before you do this