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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social media use whilst off work sick

217 replies

DesertOrchid558 · 01/08/2019 16:37

At work we've seen colleagues who are on long term sickness or 'working from home' posting images of themselves raising a glass or happily socialising ..either posted themselves or tagged in by other people. Not to discredit their situation but it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out. Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

OP posts:
Bellasblankexpression · 01/08/2019 16:38

Well I guess it depends on context. Is it during work hours for those working from home? Not sure what people working from home would be recovering from?

And if it’s sickness, I guess it depends on what the sickness is

Zebraaa · 01/08/2019 16:43

I think it’s inappropriate and happens very often in my workplace but what can you do?!

Lonelykettleshed · 01/08/2019 16:45

If someone is WFH I think that it's a bit of a piss take (unless socialising is out of work hours).
If someone is on long term sick leave then I would hope that socialising helps towards their recovery. For example, if you were undergoing chemotherapy wouldn't it be lovely if you felt up to a coffee with a friend? If you were suffering with mental illness, how lovely if you were out of the house/care facility for a while. I'd take being in an office over long-term sickness any day.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 01/08/2019 16:45

If someone is off because they are an alcoholic then I can see the issue if they are drinking or if they are off because of a bad back and are posting photos of themselves snow boarding then I can see where you are coming from. The same for people who are drinking during work hours while working from home. Otherwise I can’t see the problem.

Tirednessandmoretiredness · 01/08/2019 16:46

What better treatment for anxiety or depression and other mental health issues but getting out with your friends?
With a bad back sitting on a supportive chair and socialising with friends, are they supposed to not see anyone while off?
Investigations into an illness that causes extreme fatigue, one hour to have a drink in a pub is very different to beingable top work at 8 hour day.
If they're off with a broken arm and sat there raising a glass with no cast that's another matter....

Elliebellbell · 01/08/2019 16:49

I don't have social media but I was off for 2 months with severe anxiety and depression caused by my work. My doctor said I had absolutely no restrictions to my social life and if anyone from work saw me out having fun then it was none of their business. That said I think posting yourself clubbing while on sick leave is a bit daft, I wouldn't recommend anyone do this.

weebarra · 01/08/2019 16:50

I was off work having, and recovering from, cancer treatment. I wasn't well enough to work but I did go out when I felt up to it, and went on holiday after treatment before going back to work. I'd have been really upset is someone had objected to my time away.

TequilaMockingbird0 · 01/08/2019 16:53

A lot of people post things not at the exact moment they're doing it- I have colleagues who are in the office but will post things they did a few days ago etc. Maybe it's a situation like that?

NicoAndTheNiners · 01/08/2019 16:54

I think having a problem with this smacks of sour grapes and I say that as someone who has had 2 days off sick (with a broken leg) in 9 years.

There are plenty of illnesses and conditions where someone would be well enough to leave the house but not come to work.

If the manager thinks they're not really sick it's up to them to deal with it.

notacooldad · 01/08/2019 16:56

I don't think it is a black and white issue tbh.
I think many if us know someone that will take the piss and are dim enough to let themselves be tagged all over fb.

As for others who are in recovery from an illness, fair play to them.

I was off for 5 months and it was down to work place bullying and stress. I didnt leave the house except to go to the doctors and work meetings for weeks. My doctor encouraged me to go out walking and to meet up with friends so that I didn't isolate myself. Once I did that she encouraged me to do a fun activity once a week. This really helped. My mates put stuff on face book, like a fantastic day on Moel Siabod and tagged everyone in except me, same with photos. ( many of my friends are also fb with work colleagues)we thought it was for the best to prevent any gossip.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 01/08/2019 16:56

It depends on the circumstances.

For example someone off because of a bad foot being in a pic on a night out in heels,dancing on the tables-not good(this actually happened).

Someone off with depression or anxiety enjoying the company of friend- good, and probably even advised.

Someone off with D&V at a concert - not good

And so on. Plus, depending on the job, some might be unable to actually do it but it doesn't mean they're completely out of commission and unable to function.

Magenta82 · 01/08/2019 16:58

Working from home and being off sick are totally different things.

If someone is supposed to be working and they are out for longer than their normal lunch break they are taking the piss unless they agree it with their manager.

If someone is off long term sick then socialising is a positive step towards being well enough to return to work.

Aragog · 01/08/2019 17:01

Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

Depending on the nature of their illness it very much can be, and can be encouraged - the socialising or going out and about, not the SM aspect, by their doctors. Also can be dependent on the type of work they do.

I have had a small number of incidents where I have been off work but still able to be out and about:

2 ops around 14 years back, 2 periods of 7/8 weeks off work in relatively close succession. Wasn't safe to be at work, due to the nature of the job, but encouraged to try and go out and about increasingly in order to aid my recuperation.

A bout of pneumonia about 9 years ago - off work for 7 weeks. Again, not able to work and had to take it easy but encouraged by doctors to work up in steps to going out and about and they sanctioned a pre-planned holiday near the end of the time off as being good for my recuperation.

About to have a medical procedure in month or two's time which will need 1-2 weeks off minimum. If the date stays the same as a newly arranged date I will be going for an evening family meal out including a hotel overnight during this time. I will no doubt have some wine during that evening. My consultant has already said that will be fine to do, and I should be up to doing it, but not yet able to return to work.

cuppycakey · 01/08/2019 17:06

YABU

  1. Just because someone is unfit to work, doesn't mean they are unfit to go out for half an hour for a drink with a friend.
  1. WFH people might have taken a 2 hour lunch break and worked 8 hours overall that day.
  1. The picture might not be of something happening in "real time"

You sound pretty judgy. It's not really any of your business what your colleagues do when they aren't in the office. I assume your employer has robust sickness absence and disciplinary policies which would be implemented if necessary.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 01/08/2019 17:11

This is why work and personal life is separate. NEVER have colleagues on SM

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 01/08/2019 17:13

I post as part of my recovery. I was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and been off since my op. I've had more issues with family, regarding social media then colleagues. My colleagues have been very supportive.

Aragog · 01/08/2019 17:14

WFH is different of course, and not the same as someone on sick leave, especially extended sick leave.

KitKat1985 · 01/08/2019 17:16

Completely depends on what they are off sick with and what they are posting doing in social media.

DH is off sick at the moment due to a serious back injury, and occasionally in that time we've been out for a meal (like on Fathers day etc) and shared a picture of this on Facebook, but he stay in the house for weeks, and we've never said that he was unable to eat a meal, just that he can't walk or bend much at the moment, so I don't think that's massively unreasonable. If someone was off with D&V though and posted a picture of themselves at the pub or similar then that is clearly taking the piss.

pointythings · 01/08/2019 17:19

WFH is potentially an issue, off sick makes you sound like the sort of 'colleague' who expects sick people to just lie languishing in their sickbed in true Victorian style. Illness comes in many forms and going out having some fun is allowed - except to people who are killjoys.

notacooldad · 01/08/2019 17:20

AskTooManyQuestions
This is why work and personal life is separate. NEVER have colleagues on SM
In my job that would be impossible.out of a team of 14 only 3 of us are not related in some way!!! ( local Authority job)

TheFairyCaravan · 01/08/2019 17:21

I went on holiday when I was on long term sick. I wasn't well enough to do my job but I was well enough to lie on a sun lounger for a week. We checked with my manager before we went, who said it was absolutely fine. When some of my colleagues bitched about it she told them to mind their own business.

DH WFH when he takes me to hospital appointments because he's my carer. We sometimes have lunch out but he always does all his hours.

We don't put it on Social Media, though. There's no need imo

ScreamingValenta · 01/08/2019 17:23

Off sick - YABU. As pps have said, it depends entirely on the nature of the illness. If the colleague is off with something that would seem to be incompatible with their social media activity, it's for their manager to talk to them about it.

WFH - YANBU. If you're working from home, you shouldn't be out and about socialising.

mumwon · 01/08/2019 17:24

when you have some open heart surgery you can be off for months BUT you need to exercise everyday to recover (& often you go for long walk & than fall asleep as soon as you get home. Just looking at someone its very hard to see/understand what is going on "under their skin" getting back to normal is an important part of recovery & believe me having to go through many conditions or surgery or therapy or treatment isnt a walk in the park & working in steamy office with good health would be preferable to going through that!

AllFourOfThem · 01/08/2019 17:26

Social media is often a very controlled single moment of someone’s life and few people upload pictures where they look awful or imply they have a sad life to be pitied.

It also largely depends upon why someone is off sick. If someone was off long term with a bad back and uploaded a picture of themselves finishing a marathon, then you would have a point. If someone has a MH illness or cancer then YABU.

ChrisPrattsFace · 01/08/2019 17:26

I think it entirely depends on situation and context.
For example a colleague phone in sick last Friday because she was ‘so unwell she couldn’t be away from her toilet’.... then posted pictures of her getting her hair done and have dinner with her mother.
That’s unreasonable.
I was scolded by a manager who seen me in the street after I had phoned in sick - I was on my way to my dr because of said sickness.