Social media use whilst off work sick

[DesertOrchid558]

At work we've seen colleagues who are on long term sickness or 'working from home' posting images of themselves raising a glass or happily socialising ..either posted themselves or tagged in by other people. Not to discredit their situation but it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out. Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

I had good reason to go Lola, my friend is very ill, it was likely her last birthday. Also, my F4Work note stated 'recovering from pneumonia' not bed bound. I checked with my GP about being contagious at that point and my infection was bacterial not viral so I was advised that it was safe to leave my house if I felt up to it.

Depends on their illness. People with depression or anxiety may well have been coaxed out and are smiling for the camera. You may not know the whole story.

Idk I’m signed off on sick with morning sickness - it’s not great at all but I still have a life. I have to go to medical apt’s and occasionally (during brief ‘better’ periods) to the super market to try and find foods that stay down. I guess if colleagues saw me they’d feel like this but honestly I’m too poorly to be at work. I’m not sleeping, literally up now with nausea!

Seemstress
You have your reasons and that's fine.

I still think it's fairly silly/naive to take 'can leave the house if you feel up to it' to mean to to birthday parties whilst signed off work unwell and expect people not to talk or raise eyebrows.

I don't think anyone with sense has the idea that off work I'll must mean bed bound, but to me 'get out if you feel up to it' usually translates to 'if you're not feeling terrible then you're not doing any damage going for a walk/going to the supermarket', not go to a birthday party or other large social events. As I say, you had your reasons, but being signed off work with pneumonia normally doesn't translate to 'signed off from work, not life so I'll go to a birthday party'.

Your colleagues were wrong for spying and reporting back though.

Whilst I don't condone the spying and bitching, if someone is off work with pneumonia then they're not well enough to be going to a 50th birthday party (and that's before treating everyone there to whichever germ has caused your pneumonia).

That’s just nonsense though. If you’ve been signed off by your GP they give you a chunk of time that seems appropriate for your illness and then you either go back at the end or they give you another note for a longer period of time. If you’ve been signed off for three weeks with pneumonia and you’re two and a half weeks in and feeling much better going to a party for an hour is a good way of seeing how it feels to be out of the house, around people, socialising etc. and why wouldn’t you if you feel up to it? I was pretty much alright again for the last week of my four weeks being signed off with depression (thankfully, as it meant I could go back), should I have stayed in the house until my first shift back at work for the sake of nosy coworkers who really ought to have work to be getting on with?

Face it, the only person who can judge whether they’re well enough to do an activity or not is the person themselves with advice from their doctors.

Depression ia different from pneumonia.
The poster I was replying to said they weren't feeling well whilst they were there.

It's never occurred to me that a doctor telling me I can get out and about if I'm feeling up to it ever meant 'i'm signed off from work not life so I'll go out to large social occasions and parties'.

As I said, following the poster's update, they had their reasons, but I think it's very naive to go off to 50th birthday parties when off with pneumonia (mental health would be very different), have photos on social media and then expect people not to raise an eyebrow.

I don’t think anyone is saying people can’t leave the house or socialise (getting out for just a few hours is very different to doing a full days work) I just think it’s slightly disrespectful to your colleagues if you are posting it all over SM.

I agree it is also naive to think you can do it without your colleagues getting upset/angry and possibly taking it to senior management.

The point stands for physical health issues too. Whenever someone is signed off sick, if they’re going to go back to work the recovery process means that towards the end of the absence they’ll be feeling better than they were at the beginning and more able to partake in their normal activities. Let’s say I was signed off with a lung infection for a fortnight, which is fairly serious as I’m asthmatic. Towards the end of the fortnight I’m going to be feeling a lot better than at the start and going to a party for a couple of hours is a good way to see how my energy levels are, how I cope, whether I’m fine sustaining exertion for a while.

Thankfully I work with adults so I would be very surprised if anyone in our team ‘raised an eyebrow’ at seeing someone out for the day or at an event while signed off sick. It just doesn’t happen in healthy workplaces where people are supported and supportive and getting on with their own work instead of interfering in things they have no standing to be involved in.

It just doesn’t make any sense for someone to get upset or angry that their colleague, who only has access to the same sick policy as they do, is going about their business while they and their doctor feels they’re unfit for work.

I do think some of this sentiment comes from how some workplaces are full of and encourage micro managers, I’ve noticed especially in minimum wage jobs managers seem to think they possess more medical knowledge and diagnostic skill than an employee’s actual doctor or consultant. It’s just a horrible environment to work in and not something that should be normalised. Employ adults and trust them to assess their own fitness for work and to manage their own health and activities if they’re off sick.

**‘Thankfully I work with adults so I would be very surprised if anyone in our team ‘raised an eyebrow’ at seeing someone out for the day or at an event while signed off sick. It just doesn’t happen in healthy workplaces where people are supported and supportive and getting on with their own work instead of interfering in things they have no standing to be involved in.’

How do you know what gets said behind yours or someone else’s back? I work with highly qualified adults not children. Resentment is a perfectly human response even if you don’t personally feel it.

If you are lucky to work in an environment where jobs can be easily covered in someone’s absence then I can see how it wouldn’t bother you personally but not everyone is that fortunate. In my small team the work has to get done regardless of who turns up. It tends to be the same ones who turn up and the same ones who don’t. Working short staffed has serious health and safety implications for my staff and customers.

If someone doesn’t turn up and then posts on FB about what a lovely time they are having it causes morale issues for those who have to pick up the slack (often working six day weeks) to cover them. I’m not saying it is 100% right but it is perfectly human to feel angry or upset by it.

Because I spend a lot of time with my team, people have time off whenever they need it, and I’ve never seen anyone make a single snide comment or query someone being off sick or comment on what they’re up to while off sick etc. Sure, i can’t guarantee that there isn’t a conversation happening in another room whispered between a couple of people about the cheek of Andrea to have gone to a friend’s child’s birthday party while off sick for whatever, but I know our culture is very understanding and supportive. We all feel empowered to stay off when we don’t feel well enough to come in, and are welcomed back by bosses who are very clear that we should put our health first and not come in if we’re not well enough. It’s how all workplaces should be.

If people are resentful because their own workload increases you’d think if they’re smart enough they’d realise it’s not the fault of the person off sick but a problem with the service as a whole if there’s no funding or provision or plan for someone’s work being covered when they’re off sick. People get sick, we’re not robots.

Do they feel resentful towards someone going off on maternity leave? Or someone having two mat leaves back to back?

I was off work after a stupid accident, long term sick and a number of collegues thought I was taking the piss and were quite vocal about it, what they didn't know was that I had asked about returning to work while I waited for a surgery date but was told by HR that it would be unsafe for me to work due to the nature of our job. I was off for more than a year, ended up with 2 metal plates and a large screw holding my bones together. Two lots of surgery with a 12 month recovery time. I didn't have social media at the time but should I have not lived my life, took my kids out, gone on holiday, done my shopping, gone to the pub etc etc just in case those collegues saw me or heard about me going about everyday life?

JeniR29, I didn't post it all over FB, you are over egging this massively. You haven't read what I said.

It was one picture of me in a crowd pic taken by someone else and it wasn't even on my FB. it was on someone else's who happens to be someone who my Manager is friends with on FB. You had to squint to see me, I was sat down whilst my friend was cutting her birthday cake. I went home shortly after.

‘If people are resentful because their own workload increases you’d think if they’re smart enough they’d realise it’s not the fault of the person off sick but a problem with the service as a whole if there’s no funding or provision or plan for someone’s work being covered when they’re off sick. People get sick, we’re not robots.’

They do not resent genuine illness, I had someone off long term because their spouse died, I’ve had two off on mat leave in the past two years, not heard one single comment from anyone about it.

When you have known your colleagues long enough you know who is genuinely sick and who is playing the system. One colleagues’ sickness always without fail magically coincides with the school holidays when she has been denied leave. Another got signed off with severe migraines due to the harsh lighting in the workplace yet two weeks later was pictured on the Las Vegas strip on FB!

Yes the larger problem is the system and funding from upper management but I am unable to control that at all. I’m just trying to explain that not all work places are harmonious and that posting on SM can get peoples backs up. You can get out and about as part of your recovery without putting it on SM, it is possible!

@Seemstress I wasn’t talking about your specific case, I was speaking generally. You can’t help being tagged in something I know, but there are those who put their whole life on SM regardless of how others might feel about it.

I totally agree with JemimaPuddlePeacock

Also - unless you are the employees manager, you wouldn't/shouldn't be privy to the reason for their being unfit to work. Managers should not be telling staff "Oh, Deidre is off with stress again" "Pete has piles." It's bloody unprofessional.

People aren't off "sick" they are unfit to work. If your workplace is so shit they cannot arrange cover in the event of absence then you should be addressing this with the management, not directing hostility at people who are so unwell they cannot work.

‘People aren't off "sick" they are unfit to work. If your workplace is so shit they cannot arrange cover in the event of absence then you should be addressing this with the management, not directing hostility at people who are so unwell they cannot work.‘

Firstly you can self certify for up to one week, you don’t need to have any medical evidence at all. You can do this multiple times per year.

Secondly it is very easy if you work in lovely supportive environment to attack people for feeling perfectly human emotions. Not everyone does, me and my staff have bills to pay, changing jobs isn’t a luxury any of us can afford right now. As I said before the negative feelings are ideal or necessarily right but we are all human at the end of the day.

Thirdly, I have addressed this issue several times with upper management, guess what? They don’t care.

Thirdly, I have addressed this issue several times with upper management, guess what? They don’t care.

Then why is your resentment not at the management, not the sick person?

There's a common mentality of blaming the workers, blaming poor people, immigrants and so on. Look at where the real problem lies. When you're struggling to manage your workload, worried about redundancies, are the senior managers getting pay cuts, or are they getting even nicer (company) cars and bonuses?

Then why is your resentment not at the management, not the sick person?

Exactly!

Divide and Rule.

‘Then why is your resentment not at the management, not the sick person?’

It’s perfectly possible to resent both management and those who I know are not genuinely sick. As I’ve said about 100 times I have no issue with those who are genuinely unfit to work. I think you are living in a fantasy world if you think people do not abuse the system of sick pay.

When I used to work for the NHS a friend of mine ended up on long term sick for 6 months. Her child died suddenly and she was in a very bad way. Extremely depressed, attempted suicide more than once. After a few months off work her sister posted a picture of them at a spa day. That picture is the only time I'd seen her smile since her daughter died.

Other colleagues weren't aware of her personal circumstances, because she didn't tell people in work (I only knew because we were friends out of work, other people were just told "depression" with no further details) and many people were disgusted by the FB post. Lots of comments about their understaffed team and her taking the piss. Enough people complained about it that she was brought in for a meeting and grilled about it.

It still makes me feel down when I think about it all these years later. You have no idea what's going on with someone who is on long-term sick. It's the employer's job to manage the situation. If you don't know the ins and outs of it then it's best to stay out of it.

I was off sick for ten months due to cancer. Had chemo and then operation then more chemo. I worried excessively that if I went out work would be cross. The nature of my chemo was I had one week where I was really ill then two weeks ok where I did go out with friends and also away in the Uk (although I was admitted to hospital four times for suspected neutropenic sepsis). My boss was very understanding but I worried that if anyone from work saw me they would be moaning behind my back. At one point we were not sure I would last the year so wanted to make memories for my two year old as well as not make my colleagues think I was taking the piss. Attitudes like this are what meant that the time I had of was full of anxiety not just for the cancer but also my work. I am back now and still feel guilty socialising as I have conditioned myself to think it was wrong.

JemimaPuddlePeacock
Towards the end just before returning would make sense. E.g. see friends on the Thursday briefly and then return to work on Monday.

In the middle of being off sick would understandably raise an eyebrow. It's a perfectly normal human response.

It's a bit like someone signed off work with a bad back post photos of them deadlifting heavy weights in the gym (so not typical physio suggested strength building) or someone off with S&D being well enough to attend leaving drinks.

I'm also asthmatic and have been signed off sick for chest issues. At the end of feeling unwell I'll often go for a daily walk to clear the airways , but it would be very foolish of me to go to parkrun in the middle of being off work on the grounds that I largely walked it and I'm off from work, not life.

It's easy to say that 'people never comment in my workplace because my workplace is reasonable' but the fact of the matter is people are human. My workplace is excellent at telling people to put their health first. I couldn't fault them in their support. I know for a fact that there was a colleague who took the piss because they were quite open about it. They absolutely abused all the good will in the organisation and unsurprisingly people raised eyebrows. People being human means that some take the piss and others will feel resentment. Such is life.

Whilst I don't condone the spying and bitching, if someone is off work with pneumonia then they're not well enough to be going to a 50th birthday party (and that's before treating everyone there to whichever germ has caused your pneumonia).

Nonsense and clearly someone who knows little about pneumonia .

Not all forms of pneumonia are contagious, esp towards the end of recovery. I wasn't contagious and no one around me caught anything from me, even those who were with me most of the day through out that period of time.

Many forms of pneumonia take a long time to get over and it happens gradually - I was off work for 7 weeks, 8 if you include half term. In hospital for 4 days on a lot of medication. Thereafter I was on different antibiotics for another 4 or 5 weeks. I was weak and therefore unable to work. I was however capable of having a meal out, meeting friends - I wasn't drinking alcohol most of the time as felt too unwell and in so much meds - and in the final week on holiday.
You can't really go back to my work - I teach in an infant school - half heartedly. There's not really an easy way to go in and take it easy. That's not how 4-7 year olds work unfortunately! My doctors wanted me fully ready to go back to work ready to go and not be off sick again soon after. I did go back after 8 weeks but it took me almost a year to be fully fit.