Social media use whilst off work sick

[DesertOrchid558]

At work we've seen colleagues who are on long term sickness or 'working from home' posting images of themselves raising a glass or happily socialising ..either posted themselves or tagged in by other people. Not to discredit their situation but it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out. Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

Fortunately I also work with grown ups who support one another, and wouldn't take pictures on SM in such a negative way. In fact they'd be more likely to write a supportive message wishing that person well and being glad they was starting to improve, and did they fancy trying to meet for a cha and coffee one lunch time. But then we trust one another and understand that certain conditions aren't a quick fix, and we know we're not likely to take advantage of a situation. None of our staff seem to be vindictive in that way and don't tend to birch behing people's back.

I have no issue with those who are genuinely unfit to work.

Unless you are their doctor how on earth would you know if they are genuinely unfit to work? Crazy talk.

OP, your attitude stinks but is the result of piss poor management. The amount of presenteeism in the UK (where employees are unfit to work but are pressurised for financial or other reasons to rock up to work anyway) far outstrips the number of people who are taking days off when they shouldn't be. Employers are quids in.

With the amount of zero hours contracts and employers who don't pay anything other than SSP once it kicks in rising rapidly, this argument holds less and less water.

My advice would be to spend less time hating on your colleagues and more time organising yourselves to address workplace issues.

Aragog
The poster said she wasn't well when she went to the party!
So it's not a case of 'getting towards the end of an 8 week period off and starting to do things'. If I remember correctly they were off for a fortnight, still unwell and went to a party feeling unwell.

I've been off with chest issues. Like you I'm in a school so there's no way you can teach a class with them. Like you there was a few months once back at work for all the chest pain and damaged ribs to clear.
It would have been most foolish of me to be out and about at big events when unwell, or just trying to do part of a run, and so on. Firstly because being unwell in the first couple of weeks is being unwell. Secondly because big social events when off ill don't tend to go hand in hand. So a friend might come round to see me for coffee, but I wouldn't have gone to a baby shower.

I definitely think people are stupid for posting when theyre meant to be off sick, but the amount of times ive had time off due to EMOTIONAL issues, i have to get out the house as recommended by my doctor. Everyone should mind their own business and if they have an issue raise it with their colleague when they're next in or boss.

Lola- That poster also said it was a terminally ill friend’s last Birthday party. That’s the sort of thing you make the effort to go to even if you aren’t feeling very well.
We had a member of staff come in for the retirement party of a very long-standing member of staff recently, despite being off sick at the time. They were clearly still in pain and had made a big effort to come. That doesn’t mean they would have been OK to teach year 9. Luckily our HT realises that a party is a nice thing to do if you’ve been cooped up unwell and didn’t take is as an indication that the person was skiving work.

But even on week 3 I had friends round and socialised a little with them. I could probably only manage a couple of hours, but I wasn't locked away on my own, And for some people, especially if they find the right combination of antibiotics, they can be much more well within 3 weeks in comparison to week one. The poster also had a very good reason to be there - it was a friend who was dying after all - and was only there for an hour or two.

As has already been said many times - a snapshot on Facebook doesn't reflect real life. In such a situation I would do whatever it takes to have been there.

Mind you - I have a heart procedure booked for September on a Wednesday, and will be off work for a minimum of a week, but up to 3 weeks potentially. On the first Saturday - 2.5 days later, I will be going to a hotel for the night, and having a family meal. The date can't be changed and it is for a close family member. Although I won't be up for work 2 days after that, I will be fine to go for this meal and night away - with the option of retiring to my room early if need be. Luckily my colleagues, or headteacher for that matter, wouldn't judge me for doing so

Are you a doctor? Mind your business

SabineSchmetterling
Which is why I acknowledged they clearly had their reasons.

I can also see why people have seen someone off for a fortnight with pneumonia out at a birthday do might think it's off (not like the tail end of a long illness).

I'm not sure I agree with the poster's 'i'm signed off work not life'. Not all illnesses are the same, but off with a physical illness over a short period of time is different to someone off with mental health over a longer period of time.

If someone told me they were off work with a bad back and then when I went to the tip I saw them throwing bags of heavy stuff over the railings it would naturally seem a bit off. If someone told their manager they were off with a migraine Wednesday to Friday but Thursday night they're photographed on social media at a baby shower Thursday night (because they're off work, not life) then the manager would be right to question how that matches their illness claim and it would be unsurprising if people thought it was off.

There's no expectation of being bed bound and I'm no fan of presenteeism culture, but I can totally see how 2 seemingly contradictory state of affairs raise eyebrows.

Can I also say that at the time of my physical illness, I was also suffering a relapse in my mental health...I've had chronic clinical depression for over 30 years which I've managed, despite 2 suicide attempts.

The party was a get together of 30 friends and family, a function room with background music and a buffet.
It was far from the bouncy castle/live band/swinging from the chandeliers type affair some of you seem to think ...but cherry pick away to support your argument.

I was back at work within 8 days of the event, but it was another month before it was even mentioned by the Manager.

I repeat - I didn't post anything on MY social media, it was on someone else's. it seems to me that when people are off sick for whatever reason, there should be a blanket ban to leaving the house in case someone inadvertently photographs you popping off to walk the dog or have a meal out...just in case you have vengeful, spiteful snoopers who don't know what is actually your medical details.

Seemstress
I never said it was swinging from the chandeliers.I said a big social event which it was.

I've never once said there's a blanket ban on doing anything, nor suggested anyone should be bed bound or be worried being seen anywhere, just that some things don't go logically hand in hand.
When I was off with pregnancy sickness I walked my dog, the fresh air helped clear my head, I wouldn't have cared being seen. I wouldn't have gone out for a meal with friends because that's the sort of thing that, for me, would feel like taking the piss.

Snoopers can do what they like in my opinion because I don't care about them and I know that my managers couldn't take an issue with my actions when I've been off.

If your managers know your whole situation (which is more complex than in the original post), then they should have shut the snoopers down and not said anything to you because they feel the snoopers have been unreasonable and out of order, or they should raise it because what has been seen seems at odds with reason for being off work. At that point a sensible discussion can happen between you and your managers.

No Lola, you insinuated it was a big social event because I used the word 'party'... If I had said I attended a 'gathering or 'meet up with friends' for an hour I think your attitude would be slightly different.

and the Snooper was actually my Manager, so how is that going to work ? How can she police her own actions? You haven't properly read what I have posted previously. I challenged the remarks made to me and it didn't go well !

Seemstress
A 50th birthday party to me is a big social gathering. You've then said there were 30 people there which confirms it's a big social event. Gathering would convey the same thing.

Meeting up with friends is open ended and would be deliberately altering perceptions of the event by playing down what it was, a birthday party in a function room, 30 people.

Then the manager has raised it because they saw it as an issue.

Oh... goalposts moving much... completely at odds with your previous posts....' they should have shut the Snoopers down and not said anything' So, because it was a Manager, it's ok now ? You have contradicted yourself just a few times !

‘My advice would be to spend less time hating on your colleagues and more time organising yourselves to address workplace issues.’

I didn’t ask for your advice. You don’t know anything about how my particular workplace is organised. I seem to be taking a kicking for merely suggesting that myself and my staff have feelings too.

Some people abuse the system, this infuriates others, the situation is inflamed by seeing it on SM. I shouldn’t be vilified for pointing this out.

I'm sure people gossiped about me because I was out shopping and at Pilates and at the gym etc etc
But what people didn't see is I wasn't allowed to sit for more than 45 mins at a time and I was sleeping when I was home

Oh... goalposts moving much... completely at odds with your previous posts....' they should have shut the Snoopers down and not said anything' So, because it was a Manager, it's ok now You have contradicted yourself just a few times !

Hardly, I'm reading multiple threads and don't memorize from pages back so forgot the manager saw it. The principle remains the same.

As I've said (having forgotten the manager was the snooper):
If your managers know your whole situation (which is more complex than in the original post), then they should have shut the snoopers down and not said anything to you because they feel the snoopers have been unreasonable and out of order, or they should raise it because what has been seen seems at odds with reason for being off work. At that point a sensible discussion can happen between you and your managers.

1. If the manager was told about snooping and they knew your whole situation and felt all was ok then they should have told the stirrers where to go because there is no issue.

OR

1. They should raise it with you if they think there is an issue and at that point you would have a sensible discussion with the manager.

The manager having seen it on social media doesn't change things. They either say nothing and leave it because they have no concerns and know your whole situation OR they do raise it with you because they think there is an issue there and a sensible discussion is had.

I'm not seeing the goalposts move here.

The bottom line is that when any of us are off sick we are responsible for our actions and should be happy to discuss them with managers/HR/relevant people as appropriate. Work are entitled to ask questions if they see/hear things that see off, as long as there's the opportunity to discuss in return.

If anything the goalposts changing comes from 'someone disagreed with going to a party whilst off sick so clearly we all need to never leave the house for fear of being seen' (which nobody has suggested, least of all me).

Depends what they are off with. My partner works for the emergency services and has recently been off with PTSD following a traumatic incident at work. One of the best things I could do for him at the time was drag him out for walks and for coffee with friends as it helped distract him from the severe anxiety and flashbacks he was having and tire him out so he’d be able to sleep.

YesQueen
It wouldn't matter what they saw or said though as your managers and relevant people would know your situation and there'd be no issue.

It's a bit like if i was seen walking my dog when off with pregnancy sickness (I live close to work). Anyone who gossips could gossip all they like because my managers would have my back. But if I was seen out running having claimed I had back issues then my manager would probably want to talk about it.

Lola, bless you, but life isn't as black and white as you make out. You initially said you don't condone snooping and bitching but now if it's a Manager doing the snooping and bitching, that's justified. You are selecting information to suit your argument. I am not responsible the any action that might mean my photo ends up on someone else's SM. I cannot control that. What I take issue with was the way it was tackled, a month later, when the Manager said 'some people' don't like it. What she meant was SHE didn't like it but didn't have the hairy balls to say so !

My aunt was off sick for a while after loosing her husband and she never posted anything on social media about where she'd been and doing in the fear she'd get comments from her work about it. I dont think anyone would have bat an eyelid if she'd posted something tbh.

Lola, bless you, but life isn't as black and white as you make out. You initially said you don't condone snooping and bitching but now if it's a Manager doing the snooping and bitching, that's justified. You are selecting information to suit your argument
Nice patronising bless you there.
No information change at all because your manager hasn't been snooping, nor have they been bitching.

A manager can't help what they see on their news feed. That's not snooping. If they're not going around gossiping then it's not bitching.

Two situations:

1. My manager sees me in a local park when I'm off sick (knows my situation)
2. Colleague sees me in the park knowing nothing of my situation who then goes and bitches to my manager

1 is not snooping and bitching. They've seen me as they're going about their own business (just like a manager scrolling their own newsfeed). If they wish to speak to me then they can.

2 is snooping and bitching because it's people running around without the facts and reporting people to managers. At that point my manager should either shut it down (because there's no issue), or they should raise it with me and we have that discussion.

If your manager wanted to raise any issues or have a discussion about it then they're within their right to. In my opinion they should either have handled it more directly or let it be and leave it.

ysmaem
I don't think anyone would say anything in that situation either.

If the appropriate people know the situation then it doesn't matter what gossips say anyway because if the actions are in line with the situation nobody who matters would say anything.

Ugh.

I manage another manager who is obsessed with presenteeism. Whenever anyone works from home, he always goes into overdrive ensuring they're IN CONTACT, and AVAILABLE at all times. He makes a point of contacting people with 'urgent' things (he actually called me to ask if he should or shouldn't buy loo paper since they'd run out... erm, yeah, go for it...)

Except the reason I work from home is to avoid distractions and get complex and important work done. And encourage a bit of much-needed independence in some of the staff!

They sound like a nightmare cats.
Unless there's been multiple situations where work flow has stopped because people haven't been able to get a reasonable amount of contact or there's been people wrongly translating WFH as "work flexi hours and work 11-7 without agreement instead of 9-5", then the manager needs to chill out.