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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social media use whilst off work sick

217 replies

DesertOrchid558 · 01/08/2019 16:37

At work we've seen colleagues who are on long term sickness or 'working from home' posting images of themselves raising a glass or happily socialising ..either posted themselves or tagged in by other people. Not to discredit their situation but it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out. Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

OP posts:
stupidis · 02/08/2019 15:13

I was off work for 9 months getting cancer treatment.
Should I have never posted anything or gone out?

Seemstress · 02/08/2019 15:20

Stupidis..not if Lola is your Manager or colleague.
Hope your are doing ok after your illness. My OH has stage 3 colorectal but thankfully self employed, no one snooping on his recovery and bitching about it.

LolaSmiles · 02/08/2019 15:25

Stupidis..not if Lola is your Manager or colleague
Because me saying repeatedly that nobody expects people off sick to be bed bound and house bound means I think people shouldn't go out.
Me saying it's totally reasonable to be out and about as appropriate to the situation your manager is aware of totally means I think nobody should do anything.
Me saying I'd been out doing things when signed off for pregnancy sickness and would have no issue being seen because it matched why I was off totally means I think people should never leave the house.

But of course, I think everyone should be bed bound and never leave the house Hmm

YesQueen · 02/08/2019 15:44

@LolaSmiles it wasn't a great environment to be fair. They were querying why I was still in pain after 6 weeks. Oh because someone sliced into my spine and removed some bone and a load of disc and I was very near paralysis and it was a 5hr op maybe? HmmGrin
At my disciplinary (yes I had one for emergency surgery) they said I could have waited for the op (I had cauda equina)
My consultant went ballistic

Karigan195 · 02/08/2019 15:53

@LolaSmiles. That is interesting that you say that as our managers don’t give a rats when you work so long as it gets done and you do your hours so 11 to 7 if you want..... indeed sometimes if we have a specific duty it’ll be 7 to 2 or actually 11 to 7!

Ifonlyiwereapuppy · 02/08/2019 17:41

Depends on the situation. Off sick with depression etc, socialising is good for you so depends entirely on the illness. I was once off sick due to severe ear infection, couldn’t stand up, constantly vomiting. I had the Monday booked off the week after as I was due in Somerset for me nephews christening. I still went but the whole weekend I was there, the only thing I was capable of doing was one family meal (missed the christening itself and everything else we had planned) and my brother tagged me in a ‘lovely to see puppy’ post. Return to work on the Tuesday to be dragged into the office because someone saw it and complained. There’s always grey areas that you don’t know the ins and outs of.

Grumpbum123 · 02/08/2019 17:48

I have been off with complex PTSD for the last 15 months I have been out and about around my 3 lots of therapy a week and my GP every 2 weeks. I restarted a leisure activity which has been good for my soul there has been pics of me doing it my manager has encouraged me all the way

vincettenoir · 02/08/2019 17:59

YABU. There are relatively few situations where being on long term sick would mean a person would be unable to leave the house or meet any friends and family for an extended period.

Chezza83 · 02/08/2019 18:10

I was in this position a few years back.........had an issue with my back (not work related) and for the first 3 months I was a hermit - afraid to leave the house in case someone from work saw me and kicked up a fuss......thankfully, my sister convinced me that I was able to go out for a couple of hours (in fact, gentle exercise was recommended). I suppose it depends on why you are off work sick in the first place but IMHO sometimes it is nice to escape the four wall prison.

Sicktobloodydeath · 02/08/2019 18:33

Depends on what they’re off for. If it’s anything in the group of depression and anxiety, it’s encouraged that people get out and socialise. I personally don’t have a problem with it, as they probably hate work as much as me, therefore why shouldn’t they enjoy being out of office? I wouldn’t imagine I’d be bitter about it cries into keyboard

Adultchild · 02/08/2019 18:38

I got fired from a job in 2016 for posting on Twitter about May/Leadsom leadership race during the day. I was at home with tonsillitis but it didnt negate me listening to radio. Tbh it was an excuse to get rid of me, but I was royally pissed off as it seemed unreasonable. I was only off for one day.
If someone is on long term sick with mental health issues, actually they could be posting happy pics to mask their unhappiness , or it's a step in their recovery. One drink doesn't mean they can come back to work pronto.
It's easy to assume from social media, theres research into people feeling pressure to paint a perfect life but I dont think it's reasonable to assume they are CF

LolaSmiles · 02/08/2019 18:39

Karigan195
That's great if your work don't mind flexi hours.

My point was that I can see an issue of wanting people to be available during 9-5 if the agreement is they are working their normal hours 9-5. So if they decided to work 11-7 without agreement and that meant that for 2 hours people in the office were held up because the WFH person wanted a lie in then that's an issue because they've taken the piss.

Genuine flexible hours are great. It's something I miss from my life before teaching. I used to love my weekday morning yoga classes for wellbeing.

mynameisigglepiggle · 02/08/2019 18:43

I’m off work at the moment. I haven’t confined myself to the house but I haven’t posted anything on social media that would show me out socialising. I think it’s just common sense to be honest

MrsBadcrumble123 · 02/08/2019 18:48

Someone off long term sick at my work does exactly this! Posted today she is ‘off in holibobs’ whilst us mugs carry her workload because she is off with ‘stress’ Confused

MurphyDog5 · 02/08/2019 18:51

I am currently off work sick with severe anxiety & depression, my doctor has actually ordered me to socialise/get out of the house etc. Last week I went on a family holiday which I didn’t think I was going to be well enough to go on & yes I did post some holiday photos on social media, however there is a huge difference between going away for a few days & going to work where I manage a large team of staff and make decisions that could hugely impact of people’s lives.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/08/2019 19:17

I haven’t had a sick day in five years, I don’t get paid for it but I have colleagues on old contracts who take a week or two per year (never for anything chronic just generic colds etc*

Do you think maybe these two points are related? Has it occurred to you that the reason you haven't had a sick day is because your colleagues don't come in spreading their germs. Or the reason they have sick days is because you do go in spreading your germs.?

plasterboots · 02/08/2019 19:18

Someone off long term sick at my work does exactly this! Posted today she is ‘off in holibobs’ whilst us mugs carry her workload because she is off with ‘stress’ 

Bit harsh! Why don't you believe her?

cuppycakey · 02/08/2019 19:25

Someone off long term sick at my work does exactly this! Posted today she is ‘off in holibobs’ whilst us mugs carry her workload because she is off with ‘stress’

Are you genuinely so dim you cannot understand that a holiday might be a good therapy for someone suffering from so much stress that they are unable to work? If you are unhappy with your workload speak to your manager instead of pointing the finger at your unwell colleague.

Nyata · 02/08/2019 19:43

Unless if someone is claiming to have lost their fingers, I don’t see what the problem is with posting something on Instagram or Facebook.Grin

gonewiththepotter · 02/08/2019 19:46

@cuppycakey

I think most people in relatively high pressure environments ‘law, finance, teaching, medicine’ don’t deem stress as a valid reason to be signed off!

stress sign offs are seen as ‘cop outs’ and ‘CF’s’ ... because EVERYONE is stressed and your being signed off just increases everyone else’s stress!
Physical and mental health issues are give sympathy but ‘stress’ Isn’t viewed as either of these (rightly or wrongly).

I actually know a GP pretty well and even they say they have a little eye roll at 90% of stress sign offs! They only put that on sick notes when there’s no more valid reason they can find and the patient is adamant they need signing off!

Fowles94 · 02/08/2019 19:46

When I had my miscarriage I was off for 3 weeks and was told to get out and about as much as I could same when my anxiety flares up. Some people live on social media so they will be seen. Being off sick unless contagious doesn't mean you should stay at home.

LolaSmiles · 02/08/2019 19:50

Nyata
It depends what it is obviously.

Call work saying you've been vomiting and are off work for 3 days but one evening during that period you're checked into a restaurant and there's a photo of you tucking into pizza is probably problematic.

Get signed off because you have mobility issues but are tagged running a local 10k or are photographed at your nephew's trampolining party having a go is probably problematic.

Sharing a couple of posts and replying to people during the day when you're off unwell with a chest infection, not a problem.

Off work with pregnancy sickness and using social media, unlikely to be an issue.

Have exaggerated a headache by calling it a migraine (a really bad head can be awful, but it's not a migraine) and then spend the afternoon posting on social media all day, not really an issue as such but does make you seem like you've exaggerated how ill you are.

aquarianaura · 02/08/2019 19:50

I was off on long term sick when I was ill with chronic pain and fatigue, one of the first days I called in sick was my birthday and I was out with my family in a pub.

A picture of that day could not show the immense pain I was in, the fact that I had to use my partner as a walking aid, the fact that I was nearly crying from pain every time I lifted a drink, the fact that it took me hours to get dressed (no hair or makeup to do either), the fact that we were only out for an hour or so, or the fact that it took me days of being bedbound to recover to the point where I could just about walk without crying.

Thankfully, I had lovely and compassionate managers, and eventually, I did recover, but not before losing my job and everything I had whilst still occasionally going out to keep me somewhat sane.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 02/08/2019 20:02

I recently wasn’t allowed to go to work - public health issue, signed off by the dr, staff members just finished cancer treatment and I workin a school.

I was “reported” to my manager because I had walked the dog at 9am on a deserted beach and posted a cute pic of her on social media.

Her stance was “don’t post on sm because it puts her in a difficult position”, however my boss isn’t on SM meaning one of my colleagues had trotted into her office and shown it to her - all very “look what Bathsheba is doing” which has changed the way I feel about my colleagues I have to say.

Rachel1874 · 02/08/2019 20:40

I have been signed off work twice, and the doctors words were make sure you still go out and meet up with friends etc. So it really depends on the reason they are off. Not all illness mean you should stay in bed all day to recover.