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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social media use whilst off work sick

217 replies

DesertOrchid558 · 01/08/2019 16:37

At work we've seen colleagues who are on long term sickness or 'working from home' posting images of themselves raising a glass or happily socialising ..either posted themselves or tagged in by other people. Not to discredit their situation but it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out. Maybe it's part of their recovery process?

OP posts:
YesQueen · 01/08/2019 18:39

I was off for 4-5 months and yes I posted on SM. I was in the gym doing physio as part of my recovery and out doing a lot of walking for the same reason. My spine was operated on, I didn't have my hands cut off so I could still use Facebook

Hithere12 · 01/08/2019 18:47

Social media is often a very controlled single moment of someone’s life and few people upload pictures where they look awful or imply they have a sad life to be pitied

Yes exactly! I was suffering from chronic depression a while back and if you’d have seen my Instagram you’d have thought I was living a fabulous life. But a lot of people who feel lonely need the interaction from social media. You literally know nothing about a persons life from their social media posts.

Venger · 01/08/2019 18:47

YABU, they're on the sick not under house arrest. As for WFH, oftentimes this is because people need the flexibility that WFH offers so as long as the work gets done it doesn't matter whether they're doing 9-5.

AllFourOfThem · 01/08/2019 18:53

WFH - YANBU. If you're working from home, you shouldn't be out and about socialising.

I WFH for all kinds of reasons including being able to meet up for a family birthday lunch etc. As long as the hours are done, which they always are and usually many more hours which go unrecognised, my company doesn’t have a problem with it so why should it BU?

Whenever DH WFH and I am off then we nearly always go out for lunch or afternoon tea. He does his contracted hours and also frequently puts in extra hours in the evening after working in the office.

I think you are mistaking people WFH for people who have to abide by a strict start and finish time with no leniency in between.

cardibach · 01/08/2019 19:01

YABU. They are signed off work, not life.

AllFourOfThem · 01/08/2019 19:03

colleagues who are on long term sickness

So they are signed off by medical professionals who are qualified to make the judgement about whether they are well enough to be at work or not, and your issue with this is?

NeverOwnAHouse · 01/08/2019 19:10

Social media is the modern-day equivalent of curtain twitching... Why does it matter what someone else is doing? Concentrate on your own job/life. This kind of thing always does my head in.

Also, who posts their actual reality on social media (the darker side instead of the happy clappy look how great my life is)? Isn’t social media just one big humble brag anyway? Very few people are going to post photos of them unwell.

AlansLeftMoob · 01/08/2019 19:11

People are allowed to go out and enjoy themselves, you can't tell very much from a photograph - especially one that has been chosen for social media. One smiling picture with a glass of wine could be the only good point in a shite pain-filled day.

Unless it's happening every day of the week I wouldn't pay much attention, maybe you should arrange an evening out for yourself OP and then you wouldn't be as concerned about what other people are doing.

katiedoc · 01/08/2019 19:14

'Working from home' its taking the piss. I'd report them to their manager.

Being off sick can be quite different. If they have depression or a broken leg or something like that then I don't see anything wrong with them cheering themselves up with a drink and socialising.

If they claim they are off sick because they are down with the flu though and are actually partying then again taking the piss and I would report them.

Hithere12 · 01/08/2019 19:17

WFH - YANBU. If you're working from home, you shouldn't be out and about socialising

Have you used social media before? You do realise most people don’t post their photos in real time?

JacquesHammer · 01/08/2019 19:20

Working from home' its taking the piss. I'd report them to their manager

Why? If they’re getting the work done what does it matter what time of day it’s done?

siring1 · 01/08/2019 19:22

A friend of mine rang in sick then posted a message lesd than an hout later telling everbody he was hungover and how he fooled his boss.

The boss saw the message with 5 muns of it being posted.

WillowPeach · 01/08/2019 19:25

Tricky one. I suppose if they’re working from home they’re entitled to a lunch break too, at my place of work this could be up to 2 hours if you wish. If working from home, is your employer more flexible? For instance I might start at 6am and power through so I can finish a bit earlier.

As for sickness, is it mental health? If so, it’s good for said person to get out, it could be the only time they’ve been out all week. Sometimes the home is the worst place for recovery.

katiedoc · 01/08/2019 19:26

@jacqueshammer

If they are sloshing back the wine and partying when they are supposed to be working then I would report.

IncrediblySadToo · 01/08/2019 19:30

MYOBand stop stalking your co workers on SM🤷🏻‍♀️

JacquesHammer · 01/08/2019 19:31

If they are sloshing back the wine and partying when they are supposed to be working then I would report

The OP said they were “raising a glass”. Who said anything about getting sloshed or partying.

Youve still not answered why it matters when they’re working as long as the work is done. I wanted to watch the cricket today so started early and finished at lunchtime at home. Where’s the issue?

yy558 · 01/08/2019 19:34

Or you're causing the MH issues with your toxicity..why are you keeping tabs on them? Are you the Gestapo?

ScreamingValenta · 01/08/2019 19:36

Have you used social media before? You do realise most people don’t post their photos in real time?

So, they might not be out and about socialising, but they're messing about updating their social media with pictures of what they did last night, or whatever - is that any better?

slashlover · 01/08/2019 19:41

YANBU!! People who are on long term sick should never be allowed to leave the house or speak to anyone else (maybe family who live with them). Raising a glass is taking the piss unless it's water or, maybe, milk. If they post a picture of them eating anything other than gruel then I'd report them to HR. In fact, if they post a picture of them being anywhere other than in bed then REPORT to 101 and 111.

ScreamingValenta · 01/08/2019 19:42

I think you are mistaking people WFH for people who have to abide by a strict start and finish time with no leniency in between.

The two aren't mutually exclusive!

The OP said that people who were supposedly working from home were seen out socialising. She didn't say anything about homeworkers who were on their lunch break or who hadn't started/had finished for the day being seen out socialising.

TinyMystery · 01/08/2019 19:44

I was off sick with hyperemesis last year for about 6 weeks. Most days I just lay around in my PJs but when we finally got the balance of medication right, I did start to venture out for the odd coffee/cake or a wonder around the garden centre as it’s very, very different doing an hour or so of gentle activity outside the house to having to run up and down a busy postnatal ward or look after a woman in labour! I didn’t post much on social media because at that stage not everyone knew about the pregnancy but if someone had seen me out, I couldn’t have cared less.

JacquesHammer · 01/08/2019 19:49

The OP said that people who were supposedly working from home were seen out socialising

And indeed she didn’t clarify whether they were supposed to be working to a schedule at home, or whether they were simply expected to finish their tasks by working at home.

I mean who actually cares if the work is being done Hmm

ScreamingValenta · 01/08/2019 19:50

I mean who actually cares if the work is being done

The OP's colleagues care, clearly - it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out

JacquesHammer · 01/08/2019 19:52

it is hard to swallow for those of us stuck for hours in a hot office day in day out

I mean the logical course of action would be to see if they can work from home. If not, then stop following them.

But then I don’t really get adults who are miffed by what other adults do. You do you, and all is well.

Crustytoenail · 01/08/2019 19:57

I had my appendix out about 5 years ago. Job at the time required lifting and manual handling, and being able to respond in a fast way to emergency situations properly. I was signed off for a month rather than 2 weeks because of the tasks I need to do and abdominal surgery isn't compatible with manual handling and speed.
I needed (and was advised to as well) to guage how well I was recovering to ensure I was actually fit for work again, and build up the strength I had lost through the operation and resting from recovery. Wouldn't have really worked if I'd laid in my pit for 4 weeks and then just gone straight back to work from there.
And yes, as part of the recovery I walked to local places and shock horror had coffee with friends. I was reported to management for it. Luckily my manager has a brain and understood that gently walking a mile or so 2 weeks post op, sitting down for an hour and gently walking the mile back is a little bit different to working a 12 hour shift full of movement and manual handling.
We're not fucking machines, we need time and a steady increase in activity to recover from most illness or injury that's not a cold/24 hours bug.
YABVU - it's none of your business how someone recovers.
Can't comment WFH as it's never been an option.