Dh and lunches - aibu

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

I think I probably am being unreasonable, however dh and I are on a bit of a mission to make some savings to our everyday outgoings.

I wfh so just make lunch from whatever’s in the fridge and I suggested the rather than him spending £8 a day on food, that I instead make dh sandwiches or similar.

The £8 is croissant/coffee and then a meal deal lunch so it’s not like he’s going for a slap up warm dinner so can’t see why he won’t agree to something that’s likely to be nicer!

I checked if it’s an “office culture” thing, but no, most of his colleagues bring lunch. So it’s literally just his aversion to brining it in.

I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal - am I being unreasonable to think this is an easy change.

(I will point out though that there are things I refuse to budge on too - decent quality wine, certain treats for the dog etc). So aibu?

Ordinarily I'd say he should take his own to save money, but not whilst you're still spending unnecessarily.

Yanbu

It's quite a hard habit to break though. Maybe start by taking in lunch 3 out of 5 days. And doing something other than sandwiches such as cooking extra the night before and taking in leftovers

Use the calculator on Money saving expert to show him how much it adds up And both plan for something specific.? Also have nice stuff in for you both to eat....?

I wouldn’t make his lunch, he can make his own. £8 a day is ridiculous, taking his own lunch will safe a lot. If he refuses, say you’ll spend £40 a month on yourself.

£8 a day is £40 a working week or £160 a month...thats more than half of our monthly grocery budget for a family of 3.

perhaps suggest that he takes lunch 3/5 and buys lunch 2/5 as a compromise. I love my yummy homemede leftovers for lunch- especially as a vegetarian as there is very little choice on pre-made sandwiches a walk from my office

*a week

Treats for DH far more important than treats for a dog, OP.

So you refuse to budget and want decent wine etc but he can’t have lunch why?

Unless your playing to the same rules YABU

Bringing your own food to work saves a fortune over time, your only unreasonable suggestion is that it sounds like you're going to make it for him? Surely he can make his own!

Lay two twenty pound notes in front of him, as that’s what he’s spending on his lunches in a week. He needs to times that by 4 and it’s £160 easily.

Yikes he’s spending a lot! What are his reasons? Would he agree to just buying lunch on a Friday or something?

He could have such a lovely lunch brought from home.....maybe he’s thinking boring sandwiches every day....

Quiche and salad
Tomato and mozzarella
Sausage rolls

Compromise by buying nicer things for lunch .

Sounds like he is not prepared to make much effort. However his £8 per day on lunches must be adding up to £1500-2000 per year!

Get him to make his own lunch and buy a pack of croissants.

SummerInTheVillage I don’t know, the op’s husband might be partial to some Bonio 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Peanutbuttericecream I literally do nearly all the cooking, so an extra lunch isn’t a big deal to make (and is the sweetener to get him to do bring the bloody thing).

Tbf - he does all the washing and hoovering so to me it’s a fair deal!

Am I the only person who eats their lunch by 10am then has to get more?

@northern - that’s actually part of his argument lol

Isn't there a compromise to be had with him buying a couple of days and taking in the rest? And you could have 1 decent bottle of wine and the next bottle a cheaper one? Perhaps see if there's a cheaper dog treat you would be happy with? If he sees you compromise then he might be happier about joining in

When I worked in an office, I needed to go out at lunch time to clear my head... and usually ended up buying lunch. However, I was young and stupid and not on a belt tightening drive.

However,

(I will point out though that there are things I refuse to budge on too - decent quality wine, certain treats for the dog etc). So aibu?

You need to lose the wine and the etc.*

*I am assuming this thread was in fact started by the put-upon husband?

I wonder if it's not actually about the food

Sometimes having to go out to buy some food is the only 'acceptable' reason for you to get out of the office and get a period of time away from your colleagues - or to not get interrupted and clear your head

Or it could just be that what you pick at 7am isn't actually what you want to eat at 1pm, you are choosing out of the fridge when you are about to eat so pick what you fancy at that moment in time

However you aren't unreasonable in that this is an easy area to cut back in - however is this really a joint mission to cut back, or is this you want to cut back and he sees it as you cutting back on HIS spending while not altering your own? Even if the outcome is that you both have the savings/benefit if he doesn't see the issue in your current outgoings it's much harder for him to get behind it - than if it's his idea

If he wants lunch out it has to come out of his personal spending money, not joint money, as should your wine, unless you share it with DH.

£8 a day is a ridiculous waste of money when you're trying to save money. Maybe he drops to once a week instead and takes his own coffee in a reusable cup.

Can't he see that there's better things to spend £2k a year on?

I would agree a budget for personal spends and then you can make your own choices

That is a crazy amount of money to be spending when you want to save money!!!
Is there something specific you want to save for? Could you sit him down and explain to him that taking food with him for a year could add over £1500 to the pot?

I don’t like bringing lunch either (long commute so anything I bring turns soggy on the way). A good compromise might be to make his own coffee at work (he could bring his own, or use the office supply) rather than buying; and keeping a multipack of croissants at his desk. He could potentially save 3-5 a day doing this which is still significant.

Unless you are thoughtful with making sandwiches bought ones are 100 x nicer and less likely to be squashed and warm - yuck ! , ok you make your own but eat them straightaway no squashing