Dh and lunches - aibu

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

I think I probably am being unreasonable, however dh and I are on a bit of a mission to make some savings to our everyday outgoings.

I wfh so just make lunch from whatever’s in the fridge and I suggested the rather than him spending £8 a day on food, that I instead make dh sandwiches or similar.

The £8 is croissant/coffee and then a meal deal lunch so it’s not like he’s going for a slap up warm dinner so can’t see why he won’t agree to something that’s likely to be nicer!

I checked if it’s an “office culture” thing, but no, most of his colleagues bring lunch. So it’s literally just his aversion to brining it in.

I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal - am I being unreasonable to think this is an easy change.

(I will point out though that there are things I refuse to budge on too - decent quality wine, certain treats for the dog etc). So aibu?

I can get free lunch at work but I would rather go out, choose something myself and get away from the office. Maybe your DH feels the same?

A big part of the reason I don’t tend to take lunch to work is because going out to buy lunch forces me away from my desk for a break, even briefly.

I despise a packed lunch. In my office we have ginormous fridges to keep them in, but they are rammed and other people’s food spill and stink.

Despite they being emptied and cleaned nightly (it’s a very strict rule not to leave food over night as it’s a large office with minimal space).

We are also not allowed to keep any food at our desks, so even a thermal bag with a freeze pack would be impossible)

My only suggestion would be to take food that doesn’t need refrigeration. But most of those are equally grim! Korean and Japanese noodles are quite nice and you can order from Amazon. I either don’t eat at work, have an or soba noodle pot, or get a salad for £3 from the salad bar x

I was with you until the end of your post.

An itsu* sorry not a refinished word!

Recognised... stupid phone!

Despise? Bit strong.Some people obviously have past experience of nasty packed lunches!

I know plenty of people who easily spend £20 a day on coffee alone

How on earth do they have time to do any work if they're spending all that time buying coffee? I hope they're using reusable cups!

Lol I have a pretty strong coffee habit and used to grab one all the time - never stacked up £20
A day though

How on earth do they have time to do any work if they're spending all that time buying coffee?

People have meetings over coffee. That's why many offices have their own in-house coffee bars so people don't even need to leave the building. Go to any coffee shop in Canary Wharf or the City during the week and it's full of people having business meetings (whereas Shoreditch coffee shops are full of hipsters working alone on their laptops). Part of the 'problem' is that some offices don't have enough meeting rooms - or desks - so coffee shops benefit from this.

Several times a week I make lunch for myself if I am going to be in over the lunchtime period. While I am at it I make enough for DP and Ds as both of them would work through lunch ( self employed ) and not eat. However things have escalated and I now make enough for Dp's work partner!!

@notacooldad haha we used to have a guy in work who’s wife used to make us all little snacks. It started as he bought in home made food - his wife was from India - and had not long arrived in the uk. We all said how lovely her food was when she bought some for a sort of work gathering, so she started sending in all sort of stuff for us (a small office at the time). I still have never eaten parathas as good since.

*MyKingdomForACaramel^
mine lunches are normally salads or currys but I make a fantastic ones ( if you like pomegranate seeds, walnuts, avocado, quinoa etc)
Just simple food that I can make multiple quantities easily!

I have started getting requests from the work partner!!!

This would make me cross. I think you have bigger issues than just lunches though!

Dh and I rarely buy lunch out. Occasionally as a treat. We normally have leftovers, or make a sandwich/salad, or have frozen made up batches in containers.

I'd suggest taking food in and maybe pick a couple of treat days where he can have his usual. My partner doesnt take lunch on a friday..friday is big breakfast day..and he has a cooked breakfast from the van. It's £5 And its his treat on a friday the rest of the week we mix it up with, homemade pots of pasta, salads, rolls, wraps etc

If you get good wine and dog gets fancy treats, dh gets lunches.

I had to check the OP wasn’t me. I am in exactly the same situation and it is causing much frustration for me. I SAH effectively, so cook from scratch a lot and dare I say it, I am not a bad cook. However, DH insists on buying his lunches and wouldn’t take anything home-made, be it a sandwich/baguette (too dry, too boring), leftovers (don’t like eating cold food, no re-heating facilities) etc etc. He is fussy like I don’t know what. But he happily eats the same meals at home which I cook.

What gets me, I am happy to look after him and give him good wholesome food to take to work with him. I have even told him, if you don’t like any of my suggestions, give me your list of foods, I am happy to prepare them for you. But no, cannot be bothered even to do a bit of thinking for somebody else to cook it. The thing is, he resorts to buying and eating rubbish for lunch, it’s not even good food - crisps, biscuits, sandwiches he won’t take from home etc. It is affecting his health and he sports a good size paunch now.

I am at my wits end. It is bad for his health and a lot of money frittered away, too, when you add it all up. The bad diet (fast food etc. outside of home) is affecting DH’s weight, sleep, he is less active etc. But he won’t change his ways!

When I used to work FT, I would take leftovers for lunch a lot, I could have a substantial meal and nice big serving of home made food. But we did have kitchenette facilities. DH refuses to entertain it.

Sorry for the rant. If you find a solution, please let me know.

Op doesn't actually eat the dog treats herself you know 😂

Sometimes there are little pleasures that would be really missed. Perhaps this is his?
Ask him to do a home lunch once a week and see how it goes - yummy curry or pasta leftovers will soon win over the meal-deal sandwich. And if he needs to get up and out at lunchtime he could still get the coffee/water from the shop?

I used to buy my sandwich but take the drink, fruit or crisps, yoghurt etc. Allowed myself two takeaway coffees a week so didnt feel I was missing out. It worked and I saved money.x

How about he buys lunch on Fridays and takes lunch the other days?
Do you have a decent coffee machine at home and a thermos? Even Nespresso pods are only 30p each. Ground coffee is a lot cheaper.

My husband will happily take leftovers if there are any but otherwise doesnt do packed lunches. He normally does supermarket snacks though which is not nearly as cost intensive as ready made sandwiches.

You're both being unreasonable (and unrealistic).

You both need to decide what you want to do and do it, at the moment you're squabbling over common sense issues and you're both wrong.

Buck up.

NoYanbu eight pound a day is ridiculous to spend on food out! And no way would I make DH lunch!! Show him how much you would save £160 a month £1,920 a year (unless the calculator on my phone is broken).