Dh and lunches - aibu

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

I think I probably am being unreasonable, however dh and I are on a bit of a mission to make some savings to our everyday outgoings.

I wfh so just make lunch from whatever’s in the fridge and I suggested the rather than him spending £8 a day on food, that I instead make dh sandwiches or similar.

The £8 is croissant/coffee and then a meal deal lunch so it’s not like he’s going for a slap up warm dinner so can’t see why he won’t agree to something that’s likely to be nicer!

I checked if it’s an “office culture” thing, but no, most of his colleagues bring lunch. So it’s literally just his aversion to brining it in.

I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal - am I being unreasonable to think this is an easy change.

(I will point out though that there are things I refuse to budge on too - decent quality wine, certain treats for the dog etc). So aibu?

If OP drank a £10 bottle of wine every week that would still only be £520 a year

And presumably he is drinking the wine too

And presumably he is drinking the wine too
Why would you presume that?
That wouldnt occur to me!

Could he take a croissant and a coffee in and buy lunch to start with?

He could take lunch four days a week, then treat himself on a Friday as a prelude to the weekend. Things feel more special if you don’t do them everyday - same pleasure, with a lot less spend!

The big supermarkets do fresh packs of store baked croissants/ Danish pastry selection for about £2 for 6, they are delicious and are fresh easily for two days. He could take /make his own coffee and homemade sandwiches are much tastier and healthier! Unless money isn't an issue then he is being unreasonable.

I haven't rtft, was going to say Yanbu until I saw the but about not making savings on specific dog treats. Sounds like there's some compromise to be reached here. Can he ditch the coffee and croissant, but not the meal deal perhaps.

Sometimes having to go out to buy some food is the only 'acceptable' reason for you to get out of the office and get a period of time away from your colleagues - or to not get interrupted and clear your head

It is possible to do both. DH makes his lunch the night before (usually a sandwich and fruit or pasta salad with leftover chicken kind of thing) and takes it in. He goes out for a walk at lunchtime and then eats in his office when he gets back.

He could easily afford to buy lunch everyday but would consider it a waste of money.

And presumably he is drinking the wine too
Why would you presume that?
That wouldnt occur to me!

Ummmmmm because in a household of 2, if you are purchasing a bottle of Sancerre to go with dinner I would automatically assume you were both drinking it with the meal. I wouldn't crack open a bottle of wine with dinner and not offer DH any.

You could have a decent holiday with the money he’s spending on lunches, would that give him pause for thought?

Op I see that your dh is buying predominantly chicken sandwiches and chicken pasta salad. If these are from a supermarket these will have so little chicken in that one breast will last you about 3 meals and you'll be able to buy cheap quality bread and won't even need to use butter as all they put in is mayonnaise.
One chicken salad sandwich contains about 1/3 of a breast of chicken, half a tomato and a very sad bit of lettuce. Make sure to put all the filling in the centre so it looks well filled for the complete supermarket sandwich experience...
For the pasta salad you just need a couple of slices of chicken to put on the top, the rest is just cheap penne mixed up with mayonnaise and maybe some sweetcorn or pepper.
If he's just buying ready food from a supermarket literally anything homemade will be an improvement. The cost of the ingredients on these ready made sandwiches are pence not pounds

And no need to buy fancy chicken because all they will be putting in is the cheapest available battery hens...

I can see both sides. It does depend what sort of facilities you have at work - if there's no fridge, or if the fridge is filthy, bringing in your own lunch can be less appealing. The 'treat' of a bought lunch (and I know, some prefer home made stuff, but if you prefer bought that's a matter of personal choice) can be one of the little things that help you get though the day at work. If you can afford it, it's not unreasonable to do it.

I know it sounds wasteful but I love bought lunches. It's well worth £5-8 a day to me. But there probably other things I don't spend money on. So it's all choices isn't it.

It's not ok if you're budgeting like crazy and he still has his bought lunches but it doesn't sound like that situation

My DH has just made this change and saves £40 a week. They go to the nice café around the corner on Wednesdays as a treat.

We are economising and my dp has started taking in leftovers or he visits the supermarket late to get a reduced sandwich to take in the next day. He doesn’t manage to bring lunch in everyday but enough to make a big difference. I reckon if he gives it a go he will adapt easily enough. Tricky if he won’t give it a go though. What’s stopping him?

So just had a chat with him and came to a compromise. Will forgo the croissant (but keep the coffee), and happy to take “leftovers” rather than say a made lunch (we rarely have leftovers though), but will do the meal planning a bit more geared to us both having a serving for the next day on some days of the week.

Dog keeps treats - wine - we shall see

OP, half the battle is being prepared. Cook a couple of chicken breasts at the weekend, slice them up and freeze the slices. Then they are easy just to pop in the lunch bag. Make sure you have a nice bag of salad (M&S Rosa Verde is lush and even salad-dodging DH likes it), Mayo and sliced bread on hand, maybe some avocado and coleslaw. I buy the part cooked petit pains - minutes in the oven and you're done
Having an appetising selection of easy lunchables makes such a difference.

Rollercoaster1920

Why not buy big litre fizzy drinks and just refill a 500ml or 2 to take to work?

Eg tomorrow I'm having a roasted chicken & veg wrap: I buy frozen roasted veg, roast them, stuck an extra chicken breast in with dinner and will just put some salad in with it all and then roll it up when I eat it

I also make a "cheats quiche" which takes 5 minutes
Use a wrap as you would use pastry to line the tin
Using a stick blender blend a tub of onion and herby low fat cottage cheese with 6 eggs
Stick whatever takes your fancy in with it (ham, roasted veg, salmon flakes etc), top with a bit of grated cheese and bake
5 minutes tops

Compromise is key.
Perhaps he can take a pack up Tues-Thurs and buy Monday/Friday.
I always ‘treat’ myself to a shop/cafe lunch on a Friday, £4 a week.

£2000 a year what a waste.

£2000 a year what a waste.
Food is not waste. Neither is spending extra money on it for enjoyment, any more than the OP spending on wine. People get to choose their own priorities.

It's a waste when the packed lunch would taste much nicer...And it would be made with love...😜...plus an extra £2000 for wine..😂

Between Monday - Thursday lunch is the highlight of my day. You can keep your wine, he can keep his lunch.