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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bf slapped mentee’s bum

129 replies

Copperbeech44 · 31/07/2019 08:51

I’ve seen pictures of my bf’s end of term work do on face book. He is a deputy head. In one picture he seems to have one hand on the bum of a younger female NQT he is responsible for. He says he slapped her bum while dancing. The picture is on the dance floor. How would you react?

OP posts:
IAskTooManyQuestions · 31/07/2019 08:52
Hmm
Original poster
Copperbeech44 · 31/07/2019 08:55

What does that mean?

OP posts:
b0bb1n · 31/07/2019 08:55

I'd be mad. Maybe an overreaction but I would lose my trust in him, at least until he can earn it back.

Tish008 · 31/07/2019 08:55

I'd slap his stuff outside then head off to the spa

Original poster
Copperbeech44 · 31/07/2019 08:55

I’m upset and I want to know if people think I’m overreacting and it’s nothing, or if I’m right to be upset

OP posts:
IAskTooManyQuestions · 31/07/2019 08:56

I think you should, in no particular order

LTB
call 101 or 111 or 911
then go LC or even NC
then book a douls/spa day/get cleaner

PotteringAlong · 31/07/2019 08:56

I’d be concerned she reported him for sexual harassment and he ends up with a disciplinary hearing on his record. If I were him I’d want that picture gone asap

Howdoyousleep · 31/07/2019 08:57

So the picture shows a grope and he says it was a slap? Not that it makes a difference. Highly inappropriate and there is evidence he did it.

Booboosweet · 31/07/2019 08:57

I would be upset. It's not normal to touch a colleague on the bum.

BogglesGoggles · 31/07/2019 08:58

Honestly, I see him loosing his job at some point. Get rid.

missyB1 · 31/07/2019 08:59

I would feel a bit sick, it’s creepy slimy behaviour isn’t it? And very unprofessional, imagine the things that are going to be said about him in the staff room. Honestly I would lose all respect for him.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 31/07/2019 09:00

This reply has been deleted

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donquixotedelamancha · 31/07/2019 09:01

Talk to him. The big problem is not with your relationship- it's that a senior manager should not be touching up the most junior teacher.

Original poster
Copperbeech44 · 31/07/2019 09:01

He says he apologised to her later and she accepted his apology. I don’t think it’s something she encouraged

OP posts:
Howdoyousleep · 31/07/2019 09:01

I agree that in schools I’ve worked at, everybody is at it. The end of term parties are rife for staff getting together.

LarryDuff · 31/07/2019 09:02

Yes you're right to be upset, at best he's a creep who thinks it's ok to sexually assault a junior member of staff, at best he's cheating on you with her.

Teagoanngoanngoann · 31/07/2019 09:02

Oooo. Not good. A whole lot of lines have been crossed here.. personally and professionally Confused .. sorry OP. Flowers

Seren10 · 31/07/2019 09:03

I would be absolutely livid! Not only is it hugely disrespectful to you, it's also completely inappropriate and could land him in trouble at work.

His attitude towards it will tell you everything you need to know.

Catsandchardonnay · 31/07/2019 09:04

It’s sexual harassment. Your DH is a sleaze. Up to you whether you can tolerate this or not. The apology is irrelevant. He shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

Bezalelle · 31/07/2019 09:04

I read this as "manatee's bum" and was envisaging some sort of sea-life centre situation...

donquixotedelamancha · 31/07/2019 09:05

perhaps she liked the attention?

It can be very difficult, as someone new and junior, to reject the attention of someone much more senior and experienced. He's her mentor and has had her career in his hands.

AlwaysCheddar · 31/07/2019 09:06

Gross and very inappropriate.

CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre · 31/07/2019 09:06

I read the thread title as 'slapped a manatee's bum'.

Quite disappointed to be honest.

CatInADoghouse · 31/07/2019 09:08

That's completely inappropriate. YANBU. It's sexual harassment and he could end up in a lot of trouble for it. Has he done this sort of this before? I think I would struggle to trust him or believe that there's nothing more going on. I would also worry that she is allowing it because she's too scared to tell him to back off since she's new and he's her senior.

Howdoyousleep · 31/07/2019 09:12

Even if she likes attention I’m sure she didn’t want her boss to touch her arse in public.