not to tell strangers where I'm from?

[FishCanFly]

I speak with a pretty unfortunate accent and this always prompts random people to ask where i'm from. Thing is - I don't want to say. I don't mind a friendly conversation, but i don't like giving out personal info to people i don't know. AIBU?

@Rezie are you from newfoundland?

There are cliches applied to every race .Being Irish I get asked more often than not" why haven't you got red hair and freckles "and " why are you here " and if I am 'allowed to stay in Germany after Brexit' is the latest one.
My German husband often gets 'We have ways have making you talk' (and even worse references to Second WW ) more often than I care to remember.
Some comments are just pure ignorance but as @31RueCambon said above being Irish a certain curiosity is expected and not considered rude.I understand that continually having to explain where one comes from just becomes tedious .

Best answer is to smile & say where you live ie Dartford or Chatham or Liverpool or whatever - mind accents fascinate me in the nicest way & I have an accent - very slight now - which confuses people & they invariably ask

Like many of you, I’ve found that asking is not good for conversation.

Except Australians, obviously. Always ask them if they’re American.

An implied "you are not one of us"' is spot on - that is exactly what it is..... Honestly, I just want to be me, and not spend my ordinary day-to-day life in my community feeling like a tourist attraction at best and an unwanted interloper at worst. Which is how I am sometimes made to feel by my many friends and acquaintances from other countries only they're mostly not interested in finding out about my culture, history or customs! I don't feel like a tourist attraction but the rest holds true. I just accept it as how people not living in their native country sometimes behave 🤷‍♀️

@soapona 'British' etiquette. These rude bloody foreigners just don't understand the rules, right?

You sound quite xenophobic tbh.

Fucking hell Soapana rtft

How dare you be offended, you rude,uncivilised E europeans?!?

Oh and btw, I'm not offended, I'm fed up and at times I was hurt(just feelings thankfully).

YourSarcasmIsDripping - this forum can’t stop people asking, all we can do is try and suggest ways to avoid providing a detailed answer.
Pikapikachu - saying E.U is obviously something which is broad and ok to say (as we have been given that info), so again, just ways to avoid giving too much info out.
RosaWaiting - smiling can sometimes prevent escalation in a tricky situation. Especially with a potentially racist stranger. It’s self protection. Sensible to use. Not about belittling yourself or your feelings if that’s what anyone thinks, it’s about manipulating a situation by using your brain. I know what it feels like as a Scottish woman in England on holidays I was frequently asked about my accent on a daily basis, and for info on my background. I was ok to talk generally about it, but not everyone is. PS haven’t tried diet pills. The “shit yourself thin” method doesn’t appeal to me! Don’t like sore tummies, but if they invent one that works without the frequent loo visitsI will totally buy it ha ha!

I have an unfortunate accent and often get asked if I am South African!
i just nod and say 'I am indeed a small place by the coast I don't think you would have heard of it' and promptly walk away

Alli, that sounds like back pedalling to me.

@YourSarcasmIsDripping, but if this is in the uk possibly people have no idea they are causing you such offense.

31 well if everyone on this thread(and all the other similar ones) took notice of it and considered asking the question next time, maybe we'd encounter it less eventually...

But people are too busy dismissing what we say, excusing it, or tell us we can't possibly be offended or to use our brains.

Look if you want to listen and do fine, if not suit yourself,just don't expect me to answer in detail and with a smile. Maybe I have no English etiquette after all.

Well, i think it is unreasonable. I get that it might be annoying but people are curious. They just are. And when i was living in Spain and then later, the UK, I didnt feel it was unreasonable of English people to be typically English or Spanish people to be typically Spanish.
I wouldjust give a grey rock answer and change the subject if it bores you.
You cant expect strangers to know what bores you.
Many people love talking about themselves.

I hate this question. Even though I've been here for almost all of my adult life, it just makes me feel like no one views this as my home, because I don't sound like them. I think I get the question because no one can place my accent. Have had some very unusual guesses!

I usually answer with the part of town where I live. And that SHOULD be enough. But then I get "no, but you're not from here, where are you REALLY from? " "Come on, just say it" and the start guessing - Poland? Russia? Still no?
... and I'm like - quit pestering me, I don't even know you. I don't have to tell you anything. So bloody annoying.

And I won't even go about cleaners/factories/nannies or stolen jobs and brexit. It really brought the nasty out of people.

31 way, way upthread I've held my hands up and said I didn't realise what I was doing and I'd stop because I wouldn't want to upset anyone.

If I can manage to do this and take onboard what's been said then others can too.

Ps Im irish with a foreign sur name and i lived in 3 countries and i have encounterd many questions over the years. I just dont consider natural curiosity an effront though. Different way of viewing things can make them less stressful.

Oh dont worry!! I wouldnt dare ask somebody where they're from. Heaven forbid.

Trouble is, OP is not the ambassador for non nationals in the uk and there may be many people who like to be asked!

I’m Canadian and when I lived in the UK I (subconsciously) altered my accent somewhat as it gets a bit wearing to have people imitate it in a slightly aggressive/if you don’t laugh too then you’re no fun kind of way. Mostly my r’s and short a’s seemed to annoy people.

People asked where I was from a lot and while I don’t sound American I also don’t expect anyone not-Canadian to be able to tell the difference so that didn’t bother me. I was flattered when people thought I was Irish (partly my looks, partly our accent I guess), perplexed when people thought German or Australian.

But in Canadian culture it’s also a conversational thing, so it didn’t really bother me as I knew people were just being polite/mildly curious.

Smiling is a cultural thing easily misunderstood.

Look at all the smilies with smiling mouths 😀😃😄😁😆🤣😂😅☺️😊🙂🙃😉😌😇😍🥰😋😛😝😜🤓😎🤗 Many people wouldn't be able to explain the differences in these smiles. Smiling is not a sign of politeness in some cultures eg Russia. A person who is overly smiley can be seen as shady and it's seen as weird if you smile at a stranger.

Strangers don't owe you information about their backgrounds. Some people have truly horrible stories in their home countries and don't owe this story to a nosed British person who's probably thinking that they are scrounging off the taxpayer by claiming benefits etc

It's different if you're talking to someone who's a friend. They might want to share their culture when they invite you round for a meal for example and you might want to try authentic home cooking from their country. The OP is referring to strangers who think they are owed info on whether or not who they think you are matches what they think they see. It's tiresome and annoying and I can only imagine how much worse it is if you wear a headscarf or have a non-English accent (assuming in England)

Just to add - while I did work in the UK, I don’t think people often think Canadians are out to steal their jobs, so it was easier on me in that regard. And the part of Canada I’m from is culturally quite similar (in some regards) so nothing much for people to get their backs up there.

there may be many people who like to be asked!
🙋

But I do get why it may be annoying for some