*“you seem a lovely fella, what a shame you’re black, but at least you’re only here for the weekend”
What a complete Arsehole! Round here, depending on who heard that exchange, most blokes would have absolutely flattened the guy that made that comment.
It is so frustrating to know that people where you live are friendly and welcoming, and the only thing they are intolerant of is dickheadery and intolerance. But they do ask questions, even of strangers. Because difference is not seen as a bad thing. It is seen as interesting and part of what makes a person who they are. People use it as a conversational opener to find out more about people, to see them as an individual, and to make friends with them, or at least be acquaintances on nodding terms in the street.
When a local lady felt people weren't using her cafe because she is black (it went in the local newspaper as she was upset) we all queued up through the town square to frequent her cafe so she knew it wasnt the reason. It was that the food was crap, bless her, but noone wanted to tell her.
It is so upsetting to know that people who maybe aren't from this particular culture, view us as being "nosy strangers" and take any interest shown in them due to politeness as negative and down to trying to identify their accent.
I Would like to say that noone actually gives a shit and we are just being polite. But that wouldn't be true. Where I live, people really care about each other and all are welcomed. Difference is celebrated.
Now I feel as though I have discovered that the way we are isn't good enough. People don't want their differences celebrated and seen as a positive. It will ALWAYS be seen as negative. Recognising that someone has non-local origins, is apparently a bad thing as it makes people feel they "don't belong". Well, it's news to the people in my community that you "don't belong" but if you want to exclude yourself, knock yourself out.
I don't want anyone to ever be subject to racism or xenophobia. I don't want anyone to feel their culture of origin is not welcome in the UK. That includes my own.
The irony of the level of intolerance towards other UK cultures on this thread, from many posters who have said they want to be accepted as part of UK culture, is mind blowingly hypocritical and offensive.
You may presume that someone is intent on "othering" you, but it presumes that difference is seen as a bad thing. Part of UK culture is valuing difference as a positive. So assuming (unless there is evidence) that any questions have negative connotatuins is a fundamental misunderstanding of a huge part of UK culture. From the people who are annoyed that they may not be seen as being British, this is really incongruous.