not to tell strangers where I'm from?

[FishCanFly]

I speak with a pretty unfortunate accent and this always prompts random people to ask where i'm from. Thing is - I don't want to say. I don't mind a friendly conversation, but i don't like giving out personal info to people i don't know. AIBU?

Oh no I would be that person that asked because I'm pretty nosy and am curious about people, that and it's my actual job to chat people in a tourist capacity (i never would do it in an them and us context) I'd be absolutely mortified if I made someone feel uncomfortable, I do ask EVERYONE lots of stuff about themselves regardless of accents I just like people ( and possibly am a nosy cow) this has made think I should reign it in

I totally get it what OP says. I have lived in the Uk for over 25 years, but still have an unfortunate accent. I don’t speak like a Bond baddie Xenia Onatopp, but I do have an accent, and I will most likely never get rid of it completely. These questions are intrusive.
The inevitable idiotic comments are tedious, along the lines, You must drink a lot of vodka.
Last year there were “jokes” about Novichok, as if it is my personal responsibility.

Qwertyguerty I don’t think there was much of telling OP to get over herself. In fact, there has been a lot of sympathy from a lot of people and a lot of genuine surprise at her feelings, sharing of very similar annoying experiences, questions of how not to offend people with accents in the future and explanations to why this type of question is so prevalent in the UK.

And a lot of useful suggestions on potential answers to deflate the question when it arises.

It’s just people making small talk isn’t it? I ask people with British accents where they are from too if I am making conversation. I am not British and despite having lived in the UK for over 20 years will always be from my home country. I am proud of where I am
from and don’t consider myself to be British either. I just live here. Sounds like your issue is that you are embarrassed about your accent/ background.

@TheFridgeRaider Jesus,no. I meant something else and it definitely wasn't aimed at you. It's late and I'm in a funny mood,maybe I should quit while I'm ahead.

I lived abroad when I was early twenties and it did get a big tedious saying "Britain, no not London... blah blah blah" so I used to mix it up on nights out, deciding to be from random different countries depending on my mood, lol.

@YourSarcasmIsDripping no worries. I was just making sure😁 I admit I must have sounded like that at some point

@FishCanFly I'm Eastern European as well (not Polish), and it gets really annoying when people ask where I am from 146643644 times a week. People think it's a conversation starter, but in reality it just makes me want to talk to them less...

@Branster

Does it really matter?

chill out

The country that you come from isn’t really personal information, it’s not your bra size

I think you need to get over yourself OP

Wtf

What’s the big deal?

Nope,no one ever told OP to get over herself,and that's just comments before I've started replying.

@TheFridgeRaider I meant that some posters sound like they use us as frankly,entertainment . I want to know about...,I have a relative/friends , I'm curious, interesting/fascinating etc.

They sound like nice comments,maybe they are, but they rubbed me the wrong way. Especially after many people explaining why they dislike it,feel uncomfortable with it or othered. It comes down to "well I still wanna know".

Meh,great. You do you.

@YourSarcasmIsDripping I don't think it's entertainment for most.
It's kind of like when you read a book (the ones with relatives or friends) or hear about a book (the ones curious) and then you meet someone who read another one from that series or who kind of wrote it (is from there) and the original reader wants to know more.
And that's a good thing imho. Wanting to know more. I do. I enjoy meeting other cultures and people from other countries. That's what attracted me to Britain. So I too am guilty of asking "Where are you from". Sorry! It is really taht I love to learn.
Like stories from India, difference s between my country of birth and surrounding ones. What makes people move. All of it.

Like Said,I'm in a weird mood and it might just be me.
Maybe I need some vodka to cheer up.

Do you honestly think people are really that interested ?!

Actually, I am. But it takes a LOT for me to ask someone about their heritage/ culture etc now, because I'm very afraid of being one of those typical white types who say all the wrong things. I say a lot of wrong things, my social skills are appalling (I remember now what I wrote on the thread about sweating, which was deleted the other day, cringe now I look back on it) and I'm white. But I'm genuinely interested in people's cultures, languages and customs and everything to do with that. I pick up languages reasonably, and I love travelling and hope one day to visit lots of places and be able to speak even a little of the different languages. I accept there's many people who aren't as friendly to people who come across as not british whether it's accent and language, attire, skin colour.

I'm wary of telling people where I'm from/ where I live because of past hassle I've had, a serious thing I don't want to mention plus stalker type issues. My accent is very home counties and I get teased a lot for it.

@YourSarcasmIsDripping

You know you can make vodka into gin? 😁
I don't like gin, but thought it might be interesting info.
Been on wine tonight🙈

@TheFridgeRaider 👋

I don't like gin either.

I really don't understand why you're so irritated by it OP? Be proud of your EE heritage. Simply stating a country is being polite in new company, it's not intrusive. Short of removing your voice box........

It’s a fecking minefield

We can’t even ask someone where they are from out of genuine interest because they have an accent for fear of offending someone.

I live in the south east but have a hard to place northern accent, because I’ve moved around a bit, lots of people ask me where Im from, sometimes it’s because they also come from/have family up north and we have a good old laugh talking ‘northern’ while the locals just look 🤪eh?

A lot of people commenting are coming from a place of privilege where they’ve never experienced prejudice or bigotry for being foreign.

Another Black Country Wench!!
Must confess, I get fed up cos when I tell people where I'm from, you can guarantee the first words out of their mouths are .... Lenny Henry! But said in a Brummie accent 😏

Do you get that irritating thing where people assume a Black Country accent is a Brummie one ? dsil is from Dudley and hates it.

There are far more unfortunate accents in the UK (and USA) then any in Europe :D

Most people (at best ) want to know if I fit their preconceptions of other countries

Yep. Where I come from elicits overwhelmingly positive reactions from British people. They still come up with the most embarrassing, stereotypical shite. And it is personal information. No, I don't want to casually discuss this in the middle of a gynaecological procedure, thank you. Can we talk about the weather?

Most of the time I just want my change and I am thinking "please do not single me out as foreigner - you have a 5-person queue, they are all within earshot and it only takes one unhinged person to insult / harass / stab you because of whatever they have read on the Daily Mail this morning".

People get it when I turn the tables and I ask them exactly the same questions they have asked me. They realise it's a bit personal and not that interesting.

There is a thread running right now about annoying questions in pregnancy. Pretty much anything coming from a stranger is considered intrusive, too personal and/or insensitive. Although in those situations people too just try to be friendly, start a conversation, enjoy talking about babies, etc.

Yet here it is expected that "foreigners" can be asked personal questions and listen to comments, because people do not mean bad. Very similar situations.

Well...honestly I have zero issue with people asking me about pregnancy unless it was something deeply personal.

It's most likely a difference between very sensitive/private people and those of us that aren't 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't believe people should be so sensitive and quick to assume bad intentions of people who are just making friendly chit chat personally.

...and I understand that people feel it is 'othering' but British people genuinely ask the exact same question to other British people who have a non-local accent.

I'm not usually one to defend things that make people feel awkward/offended but in this case I think it would be a real loss to the friendly culture of the UK to feel that being genuinely interested in other human beings and their backgrounds is wrong.

I'm very sorry that xenaphobia has made anyone on the thread feel awkward about sharing where they are from

Please know though that when I (and most) ask it's because we're interested in people - not just people from other countries but also people from other regions or areas of the UK.

Personally i was absolutely happy to answer any pregnancy-related questions too. But so many people on that thread are not and other posters support them in their right not to entertain (perfectly well meaning) strangers. Surely the same principle can be applied here?