My sister and family visited this weekend after 4 years- we live abroad. Her DH invited themselves and my DH had an issue from the start. I felt very much stuck in the middle for the past 4 months in the lead up to the visit as my husband and I fought as I argued it wouldn’t be that bad. I did share basic house rules with my sister before arrival - no shoes inside etc - she sneered a bit but said they would accept them.
My DH predicted exactly what would happen - constant swearing in front of kids, both of them arguing and bickering, mess everywhere, lights left on in all rooms, kids wild and only us requesting all 4 to lower voices, clam down etc. Her DH is the biggest issue – he left a planned day trip yesterday at 11.30 to go to a pub (because he had a hangover from previous day) ….and went to bed this morning at 4am - doors banging, microwave on at 2am. MY DH is furious with me for not listening to him, I’m a stressed mess after spending 3 days worrying my husband was going to lose his temper – he barely hid it on occasions- trying to run round behind them tidying up and putting up with her DH smart comments about how we live - our kids went to bed later than usual at 8.30pm but theirs go much later at same age, their kids watch anything they want online all the time ours don’t, we drum table manners they don’t and on and one. Just feels like we are living 2 completely different lives and I feel angry and sad now that they have left thinking all is fine and the only issue is we are uptight with too many rules. So I wonder on how much others adapt house rules for visitors, what’s acceptable tolerance levels and how if you have done have you broached house rules – esp. with family. (BTW we have had several other family visitors lately with no issues albeit uncles and aunts).