Using my child to illustrate a horrible scenario AIBU?

[CJ201]

Sorry if my title isn't clear but I didn't really know what to put. I'll describe what has happened though and tell me your thoughts. I was out for lunch with a friend and she was telling me that her DBro has slowly over time gone NC with her, her DM & Dad. It's not clear what has happened but my friend feels like it's her DBro wife who is behind it and has caused the rift. I listened to her and I really felt for her as I could see how upset she was. Then she goes...'How would you feel if ( my DS name) did that?' It immediately got my back up so I turned it around. I said I would feel sad and then asked her, how would she feel if ( her DS name) did the same to her? I could see she did not like it and the subject got changed.

AIBU? I feel weird about it. Why drag my young child into it? It's not the first time this has happened to me, it's happened before with another person and about a different issue. I think I get angry when my child gets dragged into something, even if it's an imaginary scenario!

I think you're being ridiculous. She was just trying to illustrate how difficult it must be for her parents.

I wouldn’t say your child was “dragged in” to anything

Er what??

a bit of over thinking on your part from what you are saying tbh.

You’re being very strange...

Why do you get angry? You do realise your child is not involved at all.

Do you think? It really irked me. I didn't like it at all.

when you said horrible scenario i thought someone had died, or something terrible had happened

YABU. What an odd reaction.

Yabu. What a weird thing to get worked up about

You're over thinking this.

Seems like she thinks you aren't getting what she's saying so she's trying to get more empathy from you.

...clearly it's not working!

What a what now? She was trying to get you to put yourself in her shoes, not curse and damn the relationship between you and your child to hell and NC.

I think it shocked me. I had been listening to her tell her story about her DBro and how he has cut off the family and then she asked me how I was would if my DS did the same? It felt quite challenging. Guess you had to be there I suppose!

That does sound like a reaction to absolutely nothing at all. Quite odd to be bothered by something like that.

Guess you had to be there I suppose!

Or, just possibly, people comprehend the concept quite well and still think you overreacted?

Like PP, I had assumed your friend might have asked you to imagine your child the victim of some sadistic murder etc.

You’re being a drama queen

Your reaction is incredibly weird and over the top. You're being a huge drama queen about this. What your friend is totally normal. 'How would you feel in this situation?' or 'Would what you do if it was your child?' or completely normal ways of asking for someone's views on a family dilemma. I

The thing was I was being empathic. I think I felt that she was feeling quite bitter / negative about it all and tried to transfer her feelings onto me.

How Ridiculous!

She was trying to invoke the same feeling in you that she is struggling with herself. She probably thinks that if she can get you to feel what she’s going through you can empathise with her better.

It’s no reflection on you or your kid but I can see how you might be upset that she even thought your relationship with your child could end up so badly.

Well that’s the difference between sympathy and empathy. She wanted you to put yourself in her shoes, not just pity her.

I think you're overthinking this.

Unless you are both 15, then yes, YABVU