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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and FIL walking into our house

152 replies

FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:37

My MIL and FIL live just around the corner from us. They're wonderful and we have a good relationship.. but they have a habit of just wandering into our house unannounced, without a meet up planned and come to find us wherever we are.. they don't even call / shout as they come in to announce they're here.

Luckily every time this has happened so far weve just been sat around or in the garden or something so not a problem. But were TTC at the mo so dtd a lot and randomly though the day and I'm so worried about them wandering in I've started locking the door all day!

AIBU or is this normal MIL / FIL behaviour. Should me or DH just flat out tell them to stop it?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 28/07/2019 18:39

Do you normally keep the doors open, then? Aren't you worried about someone breaking in?

Newearringsplease · 28/07/2019 18:39

Well I'd think it was normal family behaviour but if it doesn't suit you then you should say

ChikiTIKI · 28/07/2019 18:39

it is a bit rude, them expecting you to be ready to have them over at any time.

i would keep locking the door so they have to knock, maybe be out the house more for a bit so they realise it might be worth checking first before coming over.

BogglesGoggles · 28/07/2019 18:40

Do you live in the middle of nowhere or something? If not you really should have your door locked all the time anyway...

SteelRiver · 28/07/2019 18:41

Oh my! No, that's very inappropriate of your in-laws. Your husband needs to have a quiet word and ask them to be more considerate of your privacy.

user1493413286 · 28/07/2019 18:41

I would say something particularly if you’re planing to have children or you’ll be having unexpected guests a lot! It’s not normal in my family unless we know people are coming over; we’ll walk into mil and fil house and vice versa but we know they’re coming and shout out hello

icelollycraving · 28/07/2019 18:42

Well, I’d let them find you doing it. It’ll be the last time they arrive unannounced Grin
Double lock the door. Put the chain on.
You could tell them a story of a friend whose parents caught them shagging on the dining room table as they were used to walking in unannounced.

buttertoasty · 28/07/2019 18:42

Them walking on you TTC would be a blessing to be honest, it would stop them ever doing it again Grin

Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:44

We live in a small and safe town (I suppose as safe as any small town is) and I don't feel unsafe at all being at home and having my door unlocked.. so long as we're there obviously. We lock it at night and when we go out.
Also yes I guess it is normal behaviour for families to walk in to others houses but I've always called in as I open the door to say 'hello! I'm here!' Or something like that. Also would only do that if it had been arranged that I'd be coming over.
They tend to walk in quite quietly and then split up to sort of.. find us around the house without saying anything. They've come upstairs before and found us in the bedroom but luckily we we're just folding laundry at the time

OP posts:
Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:45

Hahaha loving some of these replies!

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 28/07/2019 18:45

I grew up in a small village, our door was never locked and family used to do the same thing. I never liked it.

I'd just start locking your door.

Ponoka7 · 28/07/2019 18:45

I think it needs addressing before the babu comes along, you don't need your sleep disturbed etc.

So have a word with them but still lock the door.

icelollycraving · 28/07/2019 18:46

They’ve come upstairs? Shock
They have no manners!! You could be shagging, on the loo, in the bath. There’s not much upstairs you’d invite them to watch.

Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:47

Icelolly Hahahaha!

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 28/07/2019 18:48

They sound odd, most folk would open the door and shout hello. Either lock the door or let them catch you shagging on the stairs.

AgentProvocateur · 28/07/2019 18:49

It’s normal with my friends and family, although we’d usually open the door and shout.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 28/07/2019 18:49

I'm definitely in the "let them find you doing it doggy style on the sofa" camp as that would put a stop to it Grin
It's not normal behaviour in any family/friends I know. Most people keep their doors locked, for one. And visitors call/text first to check you're home, as you know, busy lives and all that, saves a wasted journey. If anyone just walked silently into my house, I'd feel a bit affronted to be honest. Even if I've just messaged a friend half an hour before to arrange a coffee and the door wasn't locked, they would still knock and call out "it's me!" as they came in. As would I at theirs.

MrsBosh · 28/07/2019 18:49

I'd nip this in the bud now. What does your DH think? Is it weird for him?

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2019 18:51

Keep the doors locked and TELL them to please call before just showing up.

Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:53

I don't think I'd ever live it down if they caught us ... as funny as it would be!

They're retired and literally live 3 mins walk away from us. They walk past ours to get to town so think they just try their luck most times they're coming past.

Sounds like locking the door could be the easiest option- I'd rather that than never be able to look them in the eye again haha

They really are lovely people and think they're just bored at home in retirement

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 28/07/2019 18:53

Yep my MIL used to do this, we did lock the door but she used to come around in the day to let the dogs out for us so at the weekends she'd just let herself in. I never said anything because she did us a massive favour in the week but I hated it. Eventually we moved house, I made sure she didn't have a key to our new house 🤣

Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:54

DH agrees and has actually spoken to them about it before but they have a habit of brushing it off as if we're being silly and we're family so it's fine.

OP posts:
MuddlingMackem · 28/07/2019 18:56

The silent entry is creepy. Here even those of us who live here generally should out to anyone else who's in that we're home if we've been out.

Original poster
FatAndFurious7 · 28/07/2019 18:57

Muddling, I know right! DH and I even call to one another when we enter the house. It's just manners, surely

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 28/07/2019 18:59

It’s the coming in silently and coming upstairs, it’s actually really rude and ignorant and a complete lack of respect for your privacy.