To ask what you actually can't do after having children?

[BinkyBaa]

I'd like to have children in the next few years but I'm a serial worrier/over planner. I see lots of vague statements get thrown around on here about things like holidays and hobbies not being possible anymore after children.
Obviously I know life is different forever after having DCs but aibu to ask is there really anything children stop you doing ever again entirely?

I really don't know how people can find their life the same after kids as before, sometimes I get down about my lack of freedom and how my relationship with my husband has changed. Don't get me wrong I totally love my son but I do miss the old days.

Ever relax again. I have what is known in the business as a 'spirited child'. I am constantly entertaining, feeding, trying to put down for a nap/sleep, going for walks, etc. my baby. I'm exhausted.

I can't have doggy style sex without air getting in and needing to fanny fart it out. It's like a balloon pump.

It also depends on money. Unless you are considerably minted, or only enjoy free things, the cost of children can also scotch a lot of things you pre iously enjoyed.

You just can’t ever again be totally carefree and a selfish, pleasure seeking arsehole, basically. It’s a huge weight of responsibility that doesn’t stop.

However, a lot of the other freedoms you lose when you have young children are regained once they’re older. My two are 15 and 11 and I get lie-ins at the weekend and lots of sleep in general, which I was gutted about losing when they were little.

It also depends on how much family support you have and what your relationship is like with their father. Ive always had nights out and weekends away on my own or with friends, as DH is happy to stay with the kids on his own. From a quick perusal of the relationship board on MN, it’s clear there are plenty of idiotic men out there who can’t even be left alone with their own children for an hour.

We were also very lucky to have supportive grandparents and aunties and uncles on the scene, so have never been short of babysitters, so DH and I get nights out and travel alone together. Not everyone is so lucky.

@GiggleMcDimples you've actually made me giggle! Thank you!

Spend your annual leave on yourself.

Spontaneous trips out. Now everything is planned in advance with extra care to making sure the change bag is packed with everything you might possibly need including the kitchen sink!

Lazy mornings lounging in bed. Up early to feed DS, no chance of going back to sleep!

Changing planned excursions to pushchair friendly places. No more rambling over the hills for hours, scrambling up and down hills.

Some people use slings and carriers and carry on doing lots of walking in non pushchair friendly places.

Agree with the end of spontaneity and lazy mornings though!

This thread should be renamed ‘damn good reasons never to have children’! I’m childfree by choice and I wouldn’t give up the life I have created for a life of restriction and worry.

Seems parents seem to get an almost Stockholm syndrome with their children and no matter how hard it is they’re still bonkers about them and ‘wouldn’t change it for the world’. It’s not something I’ll ever understand!

I always respected people's decision not to have children but never fully UNDERSTOOD it until I had a child! Now I admire their wisdom and foresight

This thread should be renamed ‘damn good reasons never to have children’!

I think it should be renamed 'overdramatic statements from the sleep deprived parents of very small children'! DS is only 13 months and we're already able to do again some of the things that multiple people are claiming here that you will 'never do again after children'.

We have always travelled and gone to restaurants etc but the worst of the worst is being Ill and still having to have bo choice but to carry on
It's the pits.

Yes... sleep.. my youngest is 2 and I've not had a decent long term sleep spell for 15yrs

My DS is almost 3- things I can't do (even still 3 years down the line)...

• have a coffee and watch tv while he plays. I have to be involved!
• go to the toilet/ get ready/ shower etc. Without him tagging along.
• pop out quickly. It takes time, energy and much persuasion to cajole him into the car or pram.
• meet friends or leave the house during nap time. I've never had a kid who can nap in the pram, he's far too interested in the world.
• have a full conversation with friends/DH without diverting to grab DS from doing something dangerous, get him a drink etc. I'd love a full catch up with my friends but our kids get in the way!
• do handstand/headstand/some yoga poses without some ahem pelvic floor issues!
• get too excited about payday - childcare for DS for only 3 days a week is more than my mortgage for my 4bed detached house!
• Just generally go out and about to places I used to before. We used to spend weekends out for nice long lunches, drink in the pub, cosy up watching boxsets. That just couldn't happen now ever.

@GiggleMcDimples thank you for that image!!

Take a pee in peace!!

@Nottalotta
@BusterGonad
Glad to have provided you both with that little insight

Claim to be a virgin!!

It depends on so many things. Your finances, how much of a worrier you are, what your kids are like, how much your body changes.

I’m pregnant again and DD is nearly 12. I’m trying to enjoy long baths and watching a movie without being interrupted or falling asleep through exhaustion.

Weekend lie ins

It waxes and wanes.

We went hiking in the alps with a nearly 2 year old. No problem. We're only just thinking about doing it again now the DC are 5 and 7 cos we cant put them in a sling and need to wait for their legs to be strong enough (and they are very fit and active) and for them to enjoy it (they prefer playing in the sea to hiking and looking at beautiful views...)

Ive lost forever the ability to just think about me and my needs. I always need to take into consideration the DC.

Nothing you can't do. Some things a temporarily a bit more difficult but not impossible.

Just got my lie ins back and I’ve bought a bloody puppy that wakes me up at 6am!!

Yes they change your life but it’s just different and your priorities change suddenly you are super proud because they’ve done a pee on the potty when previously you wouldn’t have given a toss if a friend had told you that lol. Hard work but worth every second and god does it go by quickly so savour every second!!

Have a rational, balanced, informed conversation about school admissions or safeguarding !

Being care free. Having dcs has been wonderful and for me a really good decision but I have seldom felt care free since they were born. When they were small you are constantly on call and as they get older you will always at some level worry about them - if they are unhappy I find it hard to be happy. Mine are now teens but I'm told this never changes, no matter how old they are.

On the plus side life feels richer and more meaningful not being focussed on myself, dcs help you understand a little about younger generations and they have been loads of fun. In practical terms just be organised.