To ask do you trust your OH 100%

[namechange14]

Name changed for this but post regularly.

I see a lot of post's on here about people & their DH/DW about phone passwords and trust etc

So AIBU to ask do you trust your OH 100% and if not why/in what way?

I know if my DH went on a night out with the lads or similar I could trust him 100% to not even look at another woman! But I would be sat wondering if he was tempted to take drugs... So I guess it depends what way you look at trust!

I trust mine and he trusts me. I’m not sure you can ever trust anyone 100%, that seems unrealistic and everyone is fallible. But there’s sufficient trust there that it never crosses my mind not to trust him.

We don’t have access to each other’s phones or emails or pore over what we each do with every penny we earn or every second of free time we have, because that would be a fucking horrendous relationship for either of us.

Anyone who trusts anyone 100% hasn't thought it through properly.

Humans make mistakes all the time, that's life.
I trust my DH 90% to always try and be the best husband he can be and to not intentionally hurt me directly or indirectly, but sometimes shit happens.
I don't even trust myself 100%!

Yes, completely. I know with absolute certainty that he wouldn't be unfaithful (or take drugs for that matter!).

I trust my partner, I never check his phone, where he is, doubt where he is/what he is doing etc but I wouldn't trust anyone a 100%, that's just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, I don't think you can ever trust anyone 100%. People can be very surprising.

I would never trust any other person 100%. They are not angels or saints just people. You just have to let them do their own thing and hope they don't betray you.

No, I would never trust my DP 100%. I think for me to do this would require me a level of naivety I couldn't make peace with... it's too "unthinking ", you must be open to all possibilities. Saying that, I am very relaxed about travelling away and nights out etc. I'm not jealous or paranoid at all ... just aware

I’ve never thought about this but actually yes I do trust him 100%. That said people can change due to circumstances and the only people I know for a fact would never betray me under any circumstances are my parents and my brother

I don't trust myself 100%, so why would I trust anyone else?

I trusted my exH and he cheated. Everyone was shocked by it, not just me. I think I will always have trust issues now.

No not 100%. People make bad decisions. I don't even trust myself 100%

I am satisfied with the level of trust I do have in him, though.

Men lie and cheat. Women lie and cheat. So far my DH of 12 years hasn't given me reason to not trust him however how do i know what he gets up to?.

Men are different when they are around friends. They will check out other women the same as women check out other men. It doesn't mean they will cheat.

Why are strip clubs being mentioned. What does that have to do with trust?

Also they men that go on about hating cheaters are usually the ones at it.

Only if he was actually dead. I don't even trust myself 100% never mind a man someone else.

Not 100% no, people are fallible, including DH.

But I choose to live like I have complete trust, anything else is just too miserable a way to be in a relationship.

I totally trust myself 100%. Other people would be naive to when they’ve only got my word for it

Yes, he's never hidden anything from me, totally transparent regarding finances, I trust him absolutely. He's stood by me through so much... my MH problems, me having an emotional affair, other health problems I've had and never once complained about the burden I must be on him. I trust him far more than I trust myself.

Nope, I trust him as much as trust the most trustworthy people I know, but am not naive enough to think he is bomb proof.

How can you know someone has never hidden anything?

By the fact that's its hidden you dont know about it.

I am not saying you cant believe they have never hidden anything or trust they havent.

But you cant know they have hidden anything.

Dp doesnt know I keep a stash of chocolate in my underwear drawer for when I watch love island in bed. He doesnt know about it. So he could say 'hiding would never hide chocolate from me' but heveould be wrong.

Also I am not ashamed I hide chocolate. Him and ds have their own bloody cupboards in the kitchen and still prefer whatever I have got

I'm exactly the same as you OP on both counts

I trust him but I’m not naive enough to think that what you see all the time with couples cheating couldn’t happen with us so I guess I’m 99% as I’ve seen and heard too much to think that you can trust someone 100% in a relationship

Lordy be, trusting someone doesn't mean that you think them infallible! They're human - yes they make mistakes! So do we! What I do trust is that we work as a team, when we make a cock up, we tell the other, we face it together. That's not naivety talking, that's history. That's what we do and have done, for 28 years.

If I'd stuffed up, slept with somebody else, and got pregnant, I'd tell him, and we'd sort it out together. And I believe he'd do the same. Because I know who he is, what his values and priorities are, and what he can, and cannot live with, in himself. I know what punches his buttons, and what spins his wheels. In some ways, I know him better than he knows himself, and he'd agree. I saw when an online friendship was going a bit too deep for me to be comfortable, and talked with him about it, and he agreed. And did what was necessary to rein it in without compromising a beautiful friendship. (RIP Artemis).

I trust him 100%. Don’t have to think about it.
No doubts. 16 years together and very happy.

On a day to day basis, as in where he says he is I believe him and trust him but as PP wrote,I don't trust anyone-including myself 100%we have been together a very long time, we have never had any issues but there is still that possibility
Good on ya' if you can say that do.

@NoddyHoldersSideburns
Do you know what? I absolutely love hearing stories like that. It actually gives me hope for the future to think that not all men are arseholes.

For me trust isn't absolute. I can't say 'my partner would never do this' but I generally think they wouldn't and to worry otherwise is a waste of my energy.

I did.... until he cheated

Now I don’t even trust myself to do the same 🤷‍♀️