To ask do you trust your OH 100%

[namechange14]

Name changed for this but post regularly.

I see a lot of post's on here about people & their DH/DW about phone passwords and trust etc

So AIBU to ask do you trust your OH 100% and if not why/in what way?

I know if my DH went on a night out with the lads or similar I could trust him 100% to not even look at another woman! But I would be sat wondering if he was tempted to take drugs... So I guess it depends what way you look at trust!

I think once you've been cheated on or betrayed, even in previous relationships, then you can't ever trust anyone 100%. Or at least I won't.

I don't trust my DH. He's a prick and a horrible person and there were so many red flags in the beginning that I wish I paid attention to. But even if he was the man of my dreams, I genuinely don't think I'll ever give 100% trust to anyone. I trust my best friend but equally her own family will always come first (and rightly so!) so I suppose that's never gonna be 100% is it?

Yes I do.

Same as mbosnz agree with both their posts. I wouldn't be with him unless I trusted him and vice versa.

99.99%. I don’t trust him not to snaffle an extra biscuit or to put sunscreen on himself before snoring in the sun.

I think trust is a decision. So while I do trust my DH I have made practical provision for myself if I should need it, so that I can cope with the emotional devastation of his being untrustworthy and not have to worry about the practical issues. I don't think that means I don't trust him just as having life insurance doesn't mean I believe I'll die before my kids grow up...

Surely people who are saying they trust their partners because they have been together however many years, because they have been through so much, because they know every email/password etc realise that majority of cheating stories every woman thinks that, hardly anyone says "well i knew he would one day"

Its funny that it automatically jumps to cheating, when there are other things My DP could do to break my trust just as much, spend all the family money, put me or the DC in danger/something illegal

I can think of one time that I think DH would have been seriously tempted to withhold the truth from me. That would be when, for the second time in a year, he had to tell me that his father had defrauded us of thousands. He was literally on his knees, racked with sobs, when he had to tell me that. We were young, with student loans, small incomes, and frantically saving our house deposit. He told me, and I think that must have been one of the hardest things he's ever had to do in his life.

I will never, ever put all my trust onto a partner ever again. I am not going to be vulnerable enough to ever go through the pain of being cheated on again. My ex was 'good guy', together for years, but he fooled everyone. The shock of everyone who knew him, when he cheated and left me with a young baby and fucked off with OW, was honestly unbelievable. He was the last person you would think was capable of that - after the split/affair, he was an utter arsehole, horrible, completely different person.

I've been with my current partner for years and he's a great partner, never given me a reason to distrust him for a second but I will always be prepared for anything these days.

@ems137
I was cheated on by my ex. He denied it, made me think I was losing my mind, even with the evidence screaming out ( a message saying ' have you told her yet? How did she take it? I can't wait till I'm with you properly. I love you ' ....and his reply of ' no not yet, probably this weekend. I love you too' ) and he still denied it!
It cost me everything, my home, my mental health ( I ended up being sectioned by the police ) and eventually my career.
BUT....
Eventually I met my husband. I truly trust him with everything. A good honest man with great morals and scruples who puts me above everything, including himself.
It's not always a case of once bitten, twice shy. 😊

Absolutely 100%. That’s because I trust his sound judgment and he is a very correct individual. Our phones are sitting around the house and we can each access them anytime if we wanted to. I know his password because he told me what it was, I don’t have a password. E-mails are regularly left open in the computer screens and so on. I don’t feel the need to check up on him and am never bothered when he goes out or away on his own. He’s relaxed about me as well. I could never be in a suspicious marriage environment, rather be on my own than waste energy on what ifs or have any drama in that sense. And I could never bear being with a jealous partner.

Saying that, I’ve seen marriages disintegrate when one partner was trusting and never kept an eye on things and the other one strayed. Unfortunately, in such cases, I feel that having been more ‘intrusively observant’ would have made no difference whatsoever other than discover the infidelity earlier on.
So there’s nothing to be gained by snooping on a partner. If you don’t trust them or they don’t trust you, you shouldn’t be together - it would be an exhaustive way to live. Obviously that’s in the theoretical sense, I am fully aware life is not as simple. I am grateful to have been somewhat lucky in this respect but then again we are both simple, straightforward, pragmatic folk.

100% trust him in my rational brain

Completely trust my dh

Yes in every way and vice versa.

I used to 100%, then I found by accident that he was repeatedly perving on young attractive female work colleagues on FB. So, no.

I'm confident my hubby wouldn't cheat or betray my trust in any way.

I'm not 100% as I don't think anyone can say 100% their partners wouldn't.

I'm confident enough to never give it a thought, I never check on him for anything, he can chat about female colleagues or friends and I never even think of anything.

I trust him completely, 100%, without doubt. I don't need his passwords, or to view his activity. I wouldn't be with someone I don't trust.

100% trust him

Meh. I deal with the finances because by his own admittance he would spend on stupid shit, I dont really go in for monogamy it's not who either of us are so there aren't really many opportunities for him to break my trust. But I dont really trust anyone 100%, life has taught me better. I trust him near enough 100% with our kids though.

Some people are so naive.

Its not possible to trust a partner 100%. No one knows what the future holds.

Depends what you mean.

He’s very open with me. We have the same code on our phones and he’s logged into Facebook and email etc on my laptop (I often go into his email to retrieve passwords for e.g. our Netflix account or whatever). I go into his WhatsApp to text mutual friends or family if mine is elsewhere in the house.

I wouldn’t trust him “not to look at any other woman sexually” but I wouldn’t really care if he did. I certainly do! He goes out without me about once every year or so, apart from work dinners. We are together about 98% of the time not working so if he had an affair I’d be impressed.

Lots of things I don’t trust him with though. He’s a devil for losing wallets, falling asleep on trains, forgetting to do REALLY important things. But generally I believe he’s a good and honest man.

Completely trust my dh with other women.

Yes. If I wasn't I wouldn't be with him. Life's too short for all that shit

believe there is NO possibility that one day his head wouldn’t be genuinely turned.

Do you believe yours could be?

Christ yes.

It is possible to trust a partner 100%. No one knows what the future holds, but they know how their partner has behaved in the past. The best possible predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour. I 100% trust my partner because based on his past behaviour, that is what he has earned, in terms of trust from me.

He may change, our circumstances may change in the future. He may decide he doesn't want to put up with me anymore - I'd understand that!. But in the here and now, I trust him 100%.

I don't think I'm naive. I'm also not overly cynical (although I've been accused of it in the past, lol).