What 3 things would you not be seen dead wearing?

[recklessruby]

Aibu to ask what 3 things you would never ever wear (not necessarily together).
Mine are a bikini (too much like underwear in public and have wobbly cellulite)
High heels (i want to be able to walk when i m out not flouder around like a drunk ostrich)
And this horrible horrible hair colour i have accidentally dyed my hair (it was light brown fairish and is now freakishly white blonde).
Please distract me from crying about my hair horror until the shops open and i can sort it out!!

Crocs
Bleached hair (I’d look dead if I did that, my colouring is all wrong)
That Zara dress so many people think is amazing. I’d look like I was in an 80s maternity dress, and be utterly washed out by the white.

Why blush about liking animal print?

If you like it, you like it. If you enjoy wearing it, go for it.
Life's too short to worry about shit like that.

Knee length shorts
Bootcut jeans
Puffa jackets

@ravenshope, I wear Doreen bras all the time! The soft lace one is so comfortable and it’s the only bra I can wear because I have scoliosis.

Sliders
Crocs
Those awful platform trainer things from the 90s.

A wedding hat. Aside from old ladies I've never seen anyone in one and thought they look good. Also I have a huge head (thanks Dad) and look like a spud in a hat!

Pyjamas, nighties and dressing gowns.

Fake tan. Have dabbled do many times but come to realise I look absolutely ridiculous. I'm pale and it shines through and makes me look like I need a good bath.

A full branded outfit. I grew out of the need for logo's when I was about 15.

Anything with a high neck looks awful on me.

Forgot:
Platforms - they're a danger to the ankles and give people a funny walk
Thongs - bloody uncomfortable

Baseball caps, although not particularly keen on any hats.
Real fur.
Gold jewellery.
Dungarees.
Tracksuits. Not keen on any sportswear really, unless going to and from an exercise class.
Acrylic nail extensions.

Pencreed I bought it but I looked like I was wearing Amish party chic.

Ripped jeans
Uggs
Cropped tops

Cold shoulder tops - not sure why I can't stand them but bleugh

Anything animal print especially snakeskin

Strapless anything - not with these boobs 🙈

Wide legged trousers, especially the short versions that look ridiculous on anyone regardless of figure.

Cold shoulder tops

Anything that screams 'fashion victim' (like the shapeless dress currently being mentioned on here).

Us reader alert (possibly only if a certain age) -
Thong - think g string.
Flip flops - think thongs
Dungarees - think overalls
Etc!

Synthetic fabrics, including semi synthetics
Animal prints
Nursing bras

White linen trousers
Animal print anything
Polo shirt
Those vile polyester football tops
Baseball cap
Crocs

Crocs and Uggs. Ugly as hell, which would be ok if they were practical, but they are not.
Polo necks. They can look so chic and effortlessly smart on the right body, but they make me look ridiculous with my rather substantial breasts.

Cold shoulder tops
Anything 100% polyester
Pointy shoes

A dress over leggings

Dungarees

Biker boots

Lingerie that doesn't match
Anything 'off the shoulder'
A wedding dress

(1) Anything tight that shows my less than ideal figure too obviously!; (2) High heels - or rather I might be seen dead if I fell once too often; I'm not the most co-ordinated of people!; (3) Eye make-up (clumsy hands plus a very strong blinking reflex at anything getting within 100 miles of my eyes mean that I cannot do this in any way that doesn't look ridiculous).

Kitten heels (I'd be chased out of Liverpool)
Cropped trousers, bonus points for utility cropped trousers with practical sandals.
Knee length shorts.

Those fluffy slides things
Animal print
A bikini

White leggings
Short shorts that display the bottom of your bum cheeks
Thigh high boots

I used to think "animal print" but in the past two days I've seen two different women who looked amazing: one wearing a long leopard print skirt and the other in - I'm sorry previous posters - but WIDE LEG animal print trousers and they both looked stunning. I don't have the skills (??) required to know how to style/dress things though so I'd look a bit Helena Bonham Carter on speed if I tried to recreate those looks.

I wouldn't wear sports wear (if not for sport) because I look shit in it for some reason, but again I see other women who look great and then think, "ooh, maybe..." but nope, never looks ok on me.

Cropped trousers, but only cause I can never work out what shoes look ok and I have big banana feet.

Fur
Jeggings/leggings/skinny jeans (too fucking fat for them)
Anything with glitter, slogans or pictures on